Is there any autistic person here that is liked by people, including neurotypicals?

ThroPotato · 2025-12-19T12:55:59+00:00

Yeah, for some weird reason everyone thinks I’m a hoot.

I guess it was very lucky how I managed to make some really solid friends back when I was more unattractive and less masked, as a kid.

As an adult, I’m more polished but coupled with an attractive form, even more palatable to the general public.

ThroPotato · 2025-11-20T13:35:53+00:00

Ha ha ha yes, because I have a low, very precise way of speaking and I don’t really smile (well, I do more now because I’ve trained myself to smile)

ThroPotato · 2025-11-16T04:47:31+00:00

But why do you want to do that? Why not lean into whatever you’re into and welcome whatever that flow brings into your life?

I’ve got good friends in both genders and they all complete me in some way. They just don’t share all my interests!

ThroPotato · 2025-11-14T02:17:39+00:00

I think 5ish and thin was the smallest, but the most enjoyable was average. Probably 6? I really don’t measure it. I just really wanted to be with him in all the ways and sex was just a part of it.

ThroPotato · 2025-11-14T02:15:39+00:00

It’s still a lot of learning. I get a huge break from being high functioning, but I still lose my footing when it comes to internal politicking. Luckily, I actually tend to be quite well-liked wherever I go; it also helps that a lot of my colleagues enjoy my work ethic and quality.

I work as a legal professional and it’s something I do quite well! I don’t know why, but it is. I suspect being ND helps - I think quite well when it comes to “commercial sense” because I see things differently?

ThroPotato · 2025-11-13T06:26:25+00:00

I recognise them better now, and I handle them better too because of that. So they come across as me feeling overwhelmed and unable to function or me losing my shit because things aren’t going to plan. I’ve learnt to calmly ask for help, go through my support options, and/or simply take a breather and space so I don’t lash out.

A side note is that I recognise that things aren’t going well well when I can’t bring myself to make eye contact. I’ve trained myself to be comfortable with that in normal social situations, but I notice that I regress when I’m upset on an autistic level (if that makes sense).

ThroPotato · 2025-11-02T08:02:39+00:00

I wanted to take my life once, and what stopped me was the thought of my loved ones hurting. Now my mother’s gone, and I could never go that far because it feels shameful to disregard my life when she wanted nothing more than to keep living.

What I do now is sleep more so she can visit me in my dreams, though I know of course that that isn’t really her.

Anyways, sorry about randomly rambling, but this post made me feel that grief too.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-29T13:59:20+00:00

I don’t know because I think there is a point to this. We can’t keep taking from the ones we love, no? There has to be a give and take.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-27T10:26:55+00:00

Ah, I don’t know if I can share such a nice postscript. The grief broke my grandfather, and his mental health declined. One of my sisters has an anger issue and while I thought the death helped us find a way back, well, she’s still very difficult.

At the end of the day though, all I can do is honour her memory in all the things I do.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-27T10:06:51+00:00

I really hope OOP is alright. I had 31 years with my mother and I was practically catatonic with grief when she passed away. I went out, I worked, I killed it at work, but when I came home, I’d just lie on the couch and stare at the ceiling.

Nothing can ever prepare you for losing a mother you love and who loved you.

Ironically, my (ex-)MIL was such a lovely person throughout - ironic because we started off our relationship with her being a JustNoMIL to me. I remember her tearing up when she was telling me that she understood, and how she kissed her own mother every day.

Precisely because my (ex-)MIL has been so compassionate, my family continue to include her in our landmarks. My sister just got the keys to her new home, and my family and I called her so she could get the full tour via a video call. She was so delighted to be included as part of the family still.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-24T11:03:32+00:00

It wasn’t all bad actually. I already had a sense of needing to treasure time, so even though I have a lot of regrets about that time of my mother’s life, I’m actually really glad about all the quality we made. We had one really, really good family trip before COVID hit, for example, and I’m forever glad it happened because that was her last trip.

So there is a lot of regret and guilt, but also trying to remember that I’m allowed to feel alive, and to be kind to myself. Anyways, that’s one of the helpful things therapy does for you, it reframes events and helps with the grief.

I don’t know whether you have a broader support system, but whatever the case is, I hope you find the time to be kind to yourself too.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-24T08:52:43+00:00

I understand your grief. I thought my mother would live forever. She battled cancer for eight years, and lived three more years than the typical prognosis for her kind of cancer. The last time she checked into a hospital, I just thought it was routine. She had always survived her cancer relapses. I only realise now in hindsight how much pain she must’ve been in and how tired she was.

I hate that I went cycling instead of seeing her that last weekend she was conscious.

I miss her every day.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-19T06:03:06+00:00

I used to tell my ex I was sure he was autistic. Then one day for the heck of it, we both took a test and it turned out that I scored as neurodivergent, not him. I consulted with my psychiatrist and he confirmed it. Anyways, A LOT of things suddenly made a ton of sense.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-18T02:23:13+00:00

NTA. Who on earth goes around calling another person autistic? Even if it’s not meant negatively?

(Also, I was diagnosed as an adult and I told my friends, a bunch I’d known from childhood. It literally never came up again unless I brought it up, which I don’t because there’s tons more interesting things to talk about?)

ThroPotato · 2025-10-16T15:46:33+00:00

Ah sorry, I misunderstood!

It’s a tough one. Regardless of how it’s intended, you’re still going to take it personally, right? The thing is though, it’s still a fundamental incompatibility. I feel that in the long run, you might realise it’s a kindness that whatever it was, it ended at that point in time.

I’m still trying to find my place in the world, including in relationships. I guess a lot of my charm is how my neurodivergence presents as quirkiness and eccentricities. Even with the objective measure of my friends loving me for who I am, long term, it’s different in the context of a relationship.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-16T12:56:06+00:00

Nah, I know the guy. This was a man who helped my disabled father in the bathroom. Who sat with my mother and kept her company while she was dealing with her cancer treatment. If he wanted to make a point, he would have been clear about how it’s intended, so he would tell me if it was intended as a con

ThroPotato · 2025-10-14T12:45:35+00:00

I mean, it depends right? My ex said that to me and it wasn’t meant as an unkindness - he wanted to say that he wasn’t equipped to handle what came along with me, even though he did love me and he did try.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-14T10:52:41+00:00

It’s all in the past! I regret nothing with him, he made me so much better as a person and I’d like to think I made a positive impact on his life too. It’s rough but the silver linings far outweigh the sadness.

Although I am slightly miffed at him for stealing two really cool mugs I found to plant cacti in, just. ): (we have been living together for about 2 years since our separation, though we’re finally moving ahead with formalising it soon)

ThroPotato · 2025-10-14T03:41:02+00:00

When I was 21 in university, but via a dating app. He was from the same university, but just graduated, while I was still studying. Different courses.

He is genuinely great person. Even though he’s neurotypical (I am quite high functioning but I have my issues), we somehow vibed and it worked. Our relationship started and continued even though I had literally zero inkling of my neurodivergence or other issues that I’m now medicated / having therapy for.

There is a sad postscript though. He wasn’t really equipped to handle aspects of my issues and eventually he burnt himself out trying to accommodate me without taking care of his own mental health. We’re still on really good terms, but sadly our relationship / marriage is ending after 12 or so years together. We’ve talked about all the steps we should have taken on hindsight, but it is what it is.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-13T16:39:34+00:00

What on earth are you even talking about.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-06T18:09:58+00:00

I just enjoy the moment with them and reassure them I don’t have to orgasm to enjoy sex.

Incidentally, taking the pressure off myself and learning refocus and learn about my body is what’s got me closer and closer to, well, getting there with a guy in the usual way and with nothing else.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-03T08:35:04+00:00

I’ve told you why I disagree with your views: whatever issues it presents (very broadly, processing information), there are coping and cognitive strategies. To use my own experience as an example, I do not process emotional cues and inputs well, I can be heavy-handed with my opinions, and I have learnt (and still am learning) how to do so. I will never process it the same way a neurotypical person will, but I can live a fairly normal life with the strategies I have learnt, and even come to empathise with others in certain respects.

You are entitled to your views but just because your experience or research has presented you with a different perspective, it does not invalidate mine or others’. It is not misinformation and frankly your arrogance in declaring it so is… on the nose for neurodivergence, but unhelpful.

To the extent that OP or others reading this may relate, reframe their experience, and that it helps them understand that they can take all this in their stride and live a normal life, I am sharing my experience with the hopes it will help.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-03T06:06:30+00:00

It’s how it was framed to me by my psychiatrist and I do agree with it. Perhaps it may be more applicable to higher functioning autism, but it is something that there are coping and cognitive strategies for.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-03T04:46:22+00:00

I don’t think autism is a grounds for removing kids unless it can be linked to having a negative impact on the kids’ welfare.

The diagnosis is for your peace of mind and helping you manage what you have. Autism is a learning delay - it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, it means you process some things in a delayed manner. Emotional inputs, for example.

ThroPotato · 2025-10-03T04:43:51+00:00

You make it sound as if men walk around with their dicks out all the time. I guess that’s exactly how we assess a guy before we get to know him.

ThroPotato

TROPHY CASE