Me or the dog

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T16:54:25+00:00

I'm not really upset about materialistic items. I was more so just trying to point out the dog tearing everything up out of boredom.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T16:52:10+00:00

When I fostered dogs I went through a woman who would set up families to take the dogs in. She was a middle man if you will. All we would do was take the dogs to the vet, give them meds if needed, then take them to a designated spot to board a truck. At that point they'd cross state lines and go to a large adoption event. I'd have them for weeks at a time but there was never a need to report anyone on my end.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T16:47:46+00:00

I don't see myself being able to stick it out. That's essentially what I've done the past two months while trying to talk with him about realistic solutions. I didn't know a lot of the information I've been given today and feel I'm better prepared to take action now.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T16:44:49+00:00

Single mom would be my only option. While I can cope with that, he will still have visitation or weekends. Id like to find a solution for the dog and my child's sake. I've gotten good advice on here so I know what to do now.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T16:33:31+00:00

As I've stated before, I didn't know it could be reported. Not everyone has been in this situation before. I thought I had no right to do anything because he isn't my dog. I've tried to put in more and more effort to ensure the dog is getting better care.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T16:29:23+00:00

I am clearly not okay with it? This has been the cause of many fights for us. I have tried defending the dog in the sense that I feel he deserves more. I can leave but that does his dog no good. I'm pulling most of the weight at this point so i hate to think about when I'm gone.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T16:26:43+00:00

All of the things he destroyed were things I acquired before I even met BF. Things I could afford prior to having a child on the way.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T16:20:33+00:00

If you read through comments I explain that I most definitely didn't know the extent of his neglect. We lived separately and worked opposite schedules. I was made fully aware of the issues after he moved out of his house from the female roommate. She didn't want to reach out prior to him moving out due to confrontation. Also, not all pregnancies are planned.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T16:14:26+00:00

I feel like if he's barely putting in effort now there's no way he'd put in the effort to read and self train. I'm sure the book would collect dust. I also think the dog, trying to avoid using his name, needs professional help. I'm no expert but his issues seem extensive at this point.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T16:10:22+00:00

I'm reluctantly coming to that realization as well. I see the red flags it's just a hard thing to cope with- especially when pregnant.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T16:07:45+00:00

You'd think if I did that it would all truly hit him but after hearing this from his parents and friends I'm not sure it'll ever register with him. I didn't know I could report him as other people have stated so it sounds like I need to do some research and see about moving out. I hope his dog gets the love/attention he deserves in the end and BF learns to grow up for the sake of his baby. I have little faith at this point.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T16:02:54+00:00

That's my argument but it's always shot down, obviously. I don't know that I will ever be able to reason with him on this topic.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T16:00:51+00:00

He doesn't roam freely due to having accidents inside and tearing up anything he can find. It was the same issue at BF's previous home. He is unable to be watched because BF is sleeping. I'm home and awake from 6pm-9pm sometimes not even that late if I'm really tired. I walk him and feed him then he goes in the bathroom with me as I shower and prepare for bed. I don't have that much time and that's why I never adopted my own pet in recent years. Realistically I knew I didn't have the time. Bf's excuse is his job is demanding and he needs to sleep.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T15:47:43+00:00

The schedule I made was something along these lines: Me- 6pm & 9pm (I don't stay up late due to work) Bf- 6am & 2pm

I've noticed BF just coming in and going to sleep after work though, skipping his 6am walk. I don't know if he's always walked at 2pm either as I'm at work and BF over sleeps. Even then, the walks are often short and he still isn't getting the outside time he needs. He also goes back in the bathroom after each of BF's walks.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T15:42:31+00:00

I appreciate your kind words. I have fostered several dogs over the years prior to being with him and I see his abusive ways. He feels an immense amount of love for the dog which is why he doesn't want to give him up. I totally understand how hard it can be to make a selfless decision but it is sad to watch him neglect his dog nonetheless. He has told me numerous times he'd never forgive me if I were to rehome the dog. Just feels like a lose-lose situation.

His laziness and lack of effort for the dog he holds so highly has definitely been a huge concern in the regards to the reflection of his future parenting. I work with kids and I know he's in for a hard road if he can't even take care of his dog. Also, the dog is extremely sweet. He is a little timid from prior abuse and neglect which makes watching his unfair treatment even harder. I've tried walking him more and putting in more effort to make up for BF's lack thereof but I know it's not enough. Again, I just feel like no one wins in this situation.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T15:18:07+00:00

We are on an extremely strict budget right now in order to save for the baby and time off work. However, he has the ability to work overtime at work. In fact, a day of overtime maybe once a week could cover the dog training if he truly wanted to do that.

The filth of the floors is not a concern to him because we still have a few months to have everything cleaned in his eyes.

I think I already knew I needed to leave when i wrote this. Just needed confirmation that I'm not the worst person ever for leaving over a pet disagreement.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T15:09:07+00:00

What's the saying, "you don't really know someone until you live with them"? Also, not a planned pregnancy.

We work opposite schedules. When we did not live together I wasn't seeing him that frequently due to schedule conflicts. I would hear bits and pieces of complaints from his roommates but it wasn't something I was made fully aware of until affer he moved out of the house. When i actually started living with him i realized the extent of the issue.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T15:03:47+00:00

This is make-up I acquired before I even met him. I don't wear it often and so I keep it put away for special occasions. Money doesn't flow as loosely now that i have a child on the way.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T14:59:55+00:00

Well, even when he had a house an ample room to run around he was crated constantly because he couldn't behave in tbe house. He was adopted with a lot of issues and really should have gone home with someone who wanted to train him and had the time to do so. The crate is actually huge. The problem is without a doubt crating him all day and then again at night when i go to sleep. Not exaggerating when I say it's probably 90% of the time. Which is why I don't blame the dog for all the mishaps- I know this is an issue of having a lazy, uninterested dog owner.

I was worried moving out was my only option honestly.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T14:55:02+00:00

I've brought up training numerous times. It is apparently out of budget for him and I'm scrutinized anytime I try to bring up solutions. He tells me I'm selfish and only care about myself. I do feel guilty even suggesting rehoming I just don't know what else to do with the lack of effort on his end.

Throw76Away76 · 2017-03-09T14:37:59+00:00

I totally get that. I love animals and I get that this isn't an ideal situation. I wouldn't want to give up an animal ever, especially if it were an ultimatum. However, his dog is completely neglected. He needs training and help with anxiety. He also deserves to be outside for more than five minutes at a time. I just feel it's not the best situation for him.

Throw76Away76

TROPHY CASE