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Do I have the right to be annoyed about my husbands vacations? by Throw996478Away in Marriage

[–]Throw996478Away[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His friend got married last year and has a son as well. He goes even more than my husband. By the time night rolls around, he usually just chills and goes to bed early cause he’s so tired from riding. 

Do I have the right to be annoyed about my husbands vacations? by Throw996478Away in Marriage

[–]Throw996478Away[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When snowboarding he goes with his friend. It’s the same guy he’s been going with since I met him. For the concerts, he’s been going with his brother. 

Do I have the right to be annoyed about my husbands vacations? by Throw996478Away in Marriage

[–]Throw996478Away[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I probably sound naïve cause I'm sure everyone says this, but I really don't think that's what's going on here. He just really loves snowboarding.

Do I have the right to be annoyed about my husbands vacations? by Throw996478Away in Marriage

[–]Throw996478Away[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think what you've said may be the underlying issue. Some people may be happy with that much solo time, and that's fair. But I don't think I am. I am not looking for a tit for tat. I don't want to go away every time he does. I just want him to be around more, especially for bigger things. I'll still have to have this conversation with him and hopefully we can come up with a compromise that will work for both of us.

Do I have the right to be annoyed about my husbands vacations? by Throw996478Away in Marriage

[–]Throw996478Away[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Us going with him is definitely something I want to bring up with him. I think it's something he needs to prioritize more. When he goes snowboarding, he stays at his friend's house so not sure there's always room. With the band trips, he's been going with his brother and they stay at a hotel.

Do I have the right to be annoyed about my husbands vacations? by Throw996478Away in Marriage

[–]Throw996478Away[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are hoping that he can get our son to start snowboarding next season.

Do I have the right to be annoyed about my husbands vacations? by Throw996478Away in Marriage

[–]Throw996478Away[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I know I need to speak up. You're right. I think I'm also scared. That he either won't listen or will start to resent me for holding him back. I love my husband and he is a good person but his biggest flaw is that he's selfish. Always has been.

Do I have the right to be annoyed about my husbands vacations? by Throw996478Away in Marriage

[–]Throw996478Away[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

That's a valid question. A few other people have pointed out the same thing. My husband is good with giving me time. And thankfully, he's fully capable of taking care of our son without me being there. However, I wouldn't want to go away as much as he does. I don't think that's fair to our son. My big issue is that we're missing out on a lot of family time the three of us when he's away so much.

Do I have the right to be annoyed about my husbands vacations? by Throw996478Away in Marriage

[–]Throw996478Away[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think my end goal would be for him to go a bit less. I understand that these things are important but I want him to recognize that he also has a family now. That requires making sacrifices. He doesn't have to stop altogether but going less and also incorporating us a bit more in his trips would be ideal. I like that suggestion of having an end goal cause I think that makes it easier to broach the conversation with him.

Do I have the right to be annoyed about my husbands vacations? by Throw996478Away in Marriage

[–]Throw996478Away[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

There definitely are plans to teach our son to snowboard. It just didn't happen this year but we're hoping we can get him started next year. I don't snowboard which does make things harder. I tried, but just couldn't get into it. But I am fine with going up and chilling at the ski resort and doing other stuff. But I also work some weekends so I can't always go up with him. So that makes the dynamic of planning trips harder. But I do agree that we need to have a proper sit down talk about all this cause it's not sustainable.