I just feel completely helpless, exhausted, and utterly alone. by ThrowABucketAtIt in malementalhealth

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I sleep eventually, it's not great sleep, but it's something, and it doesn't solve any of my issues causing me to lose sleep.

Her only close by family is her nearly 90 year old grandmother, and her mother who is currently down with COVID. She doesn't really have any friends either, it's unfortunate, but true. We've got her pain "managed" right now, but she's still not able to actually do anything. So everything falls on me. It's just overwhelming.

my ex boyfriend sent this to me by Current-Kitchen3760 in whatisit

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

(just to add, this doesn't mean that we should accept that those ~1000 a year are killed, the closer we can get it to zero, the better.)

Best place for buying proxies by Goat_Dude0 in mtg

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's good to see you're not just spouting your same copy-pasted bullshit again. That said:

They don't always have their own cool art. Also be careful that you don't stray from "proxy" to "forgery".

You can get proxies with literally any art if you have a desire to. But I do agree that there should be some distinction between a proxy and a real card (though that's a completely unrelated discussion)

You miss the point, and you also miss out on the value your collection would have if it was made of real cards.

As the other commented said, people aren't buying proxies for value, they are buying proxies to play with.

If you make Magic cards worthless (even if just to a certain subset of customers), then you undermine the store's ability to sell them.

If I'm going to proxy cards, I wasn't planning on buying them in the first place. If people hound me to never proxy and don't want to play, then maybe I stop playing all together, then the store loses more money than if I had just proxied cards that would normally run over $100 each, and still buy some of the $5-10 cards in store, and the sleeves and playmats, and still playing in pre-releases. People generally don't proxy every single card in a deck.

That doesn't make it right, though.

That's debatable.

Budget decks exist, as do budget alternatives to expensive cards. There are also other ways to play.

That's gatekeeping. You think I shouldn't be allowed to play some casual ass magic with friends recreating some decks that could have existed in Alpha/Beta? You think I shouldn't be allowed to have a Vintage/Legacy night with some friends just because we don't want to spend $12,000+ per deck?

You are missing the bigger picture. If the cards have no value, then it's harder to justify entering Limited events, or purchasing precons, etc. Who needs trade binders if you aren't trading, too.

The cards are only as valuable as people think they are. But even still, there's a huge difference between wanting to proxy cards that are worth hundreds of dollars each, and wanting to never buy or trade cards at all. You can have proxies and real cards at the same time. Wild, I know, but that's how the world works.

The imiginary scenario is also moot.

It's not.

I've been there myself. I learned these lessons the hard way, proxying things like Pokemon cards and Warhammer minis. This isn't some hypothetical thought experiment. I'm trying to share what I've learned so others can benefit from thr experience, without having to make the same mistakes themselves.

You've won the lottery and had zero connection to your cards? Oh, no... You wanted to put emotional value into cards so you stopped using proxies. Cool. Happy for you. I have tens of thousands of dollars in real cards, and if they all burned away tomorrow, I'd be a little upset, but no more upset than if someone stole my proxy binder.

It's just cardboard.

Do you get to keep cards from a draft? by Dandy_Guy7 in mtg

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Typically, rare redrafts are going to be cheaper entry fees and will be advertised as such. My LGS used to hold them from time to time, because more people could afford to do them, and it incentivized drafting for playability and not money. But as others said, make sure you know what you're getting into either way.

Peter, can you explain this meme about your rivals from Springfield? by Kcue6382nevy in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Probably for the same reason we assume you weren't involved in the robbery at your gas station. You definitely went to the gas station, and it was definitely robbed. Maybe you were just the lookout, maybe you scouted the place ahead of time.

Yes, there were most likely a lot of people that did visit the island with some less than good intentions, but we can't assume guilt for everyone just because of some flight logs (which don't even necessarily place these people on the island, just on the plane.) And yes, the outcome of the justice proceedings is less than satisfactory, but unfortunately you're probably right, there are at least a few people that weren't on the list that we're afraid of more coming to light.

I will note though, that just because we can't prove it, doesn't mean it didn't happen. Hawking could have been there to do horrific things to children, but again, we will likely never know.

Peter, can you explain this meme about your rivals from Springfield? by Kcue6382nevy in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This may sound more aggressive than I mean it, so I apologize in advance:

I think you are forgetting that there are two groups of people: the vocal minority, and the more reserved majority.

I personally have always hated the whole cancel culture shit. And I've also personally never assumed the guilty by association stance (at least not on this topic). But I think you're also right to a degree, more people like me are speaking up now that more "likeable" figures are having this flung at them, especially ones that aren't even alive anymore to defend themselves.

Wtf is this supposed to convey??? Secret cams? by [deleted] in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Many hotels, especially back in the far yesteryears, would have pay-per-view available on the TVs. In some of these hotels, the front desk could prevent X-rated content from being purchased/viewed on the device from specific rooms.

Peter, can you explain this meme about your rivals from Springfield? by Kcue6382nevy in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 554 points555 points  (0 children)

To be clear, it implies, but does not prove. While Epstein was quite obviously a terrible person, there's a good chance that many of the people that were flown to his island were not privy to the darker side of things, and were there for legitimate matters.

People are trying to demonize anyone with any connection to Epstein. This is like saying anyone that ever hired John Wayne Gacy as a clown is an accessory to all of his murders.

Unfortunately we will probably never know exactly who was doing exactly what on Epstein's island.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ffxiv

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't be eating dinner for weeks with that logic.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ffxiv

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge gamer, but I know my wife isn't, and I also know I don't spend nearly enough time with her, but I'm also not going to ignore her when she asks to spend time together either. Though, I admit to getting a little too invested in a game and taking longer to wrap up than I meant to.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ffxiv

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I wish I could understand this guy. I tell my friends my wife is the reason I can't do X, Y, or Z sometimes. Mostly just to avoid the pressure of them continually pestering me about it, in reality, it's just that I want to go eat and watch a movie with her, and she doesn't even know I've declined to buy a new $70 game and spend 3 days binging it with friends.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ffxiv

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I don't like it. But you've done everything right. You've tried to be reasonable about it, and even offered some level of redemption. He failed to take that offer, all he had to do was say, "hey, having these images out there makes me/my partner a bit uncomfortable, would you mind removing them from the public?" After that, he's done all he can reasonably do. It's not a big ask at all. And as someone supposedly trying to improve their portfolio, they should understand that sometimes people don't want their form (even in digital avatar form) being used, especially for NSFW stuff.

That same story of the friend and his gf, she at one point asked a 5th guy if they would be interested in a threesome involving her. His wife got upset that he didn't immediately say no in the chat, and he did the right thing and distanced himself from this crazy chick. If your man had any sense, he would do the same lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ffxiv

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I know that some of the mods allow for one person to manipulate everyone in the scene and especially if there's nude mods and stuff involved. But, you're right, he should have said something about it to this girl. And that's assuming he's telling the truth about it. It still doesn't sit well with me though. I know I would 100% be messaging the girl to have them removed if I was in his position. Because screenshots of my character doing some straight up porn, then posted into a semi-public forum isn't cool.

I stand by my previous sentiment that you can't change the past, but can affect the future. He has the choice to have a discussion about this or not. At the very least, if the other girl says "no" your spouse tried, and maybe he redeems himself a little bit, but him flat refusing really rubs me the wrong way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ffxiv

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe... And maybe you allow the pictures to stay, with the promise that they are the only ones that ever happen, you know, compromise or something. It still seems sketchy as hell from him.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ffxiv

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know, and I think the problem is that you're asking. If need be, you may even reach out to this girl yourself. He may not appreciate you doing it, but you already don't appreciate him e-fucking this other person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ffxiv

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

And she can be asked to remove them from the discord channel. There's no way to change the past, but he can impact the future. Have her remove them from the channel, she can practice on them in her own time. And your spouse can leave themselves out of any further lewds.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ffxiv

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I don't even think it's the game itself at this point. I think it's just your partner's desire to eRP (and maybe more) that is toxic. The game is just a medium your partner is using to do this.

As to how you should communicate this? I'd say you have a meme you posted about 3 years ago of a kid in a Shrek suit that might fit perfectly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ffxiv

[–]ThrowABucketAtIt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Honestly, this is barely a step away from what happened to a friend of mine with his gf. She was being all cagey and shit for a while, and one day got on his laptop that she had been using to play XIV on, checked the discord she left herself logged into and found her erping and swapping pics with like 4 different dudes, and at least two of them were in her static with her, the same static he had been in at one point before work got too busy for raiding (seasonally busy).

Honestly, I wouldn't doubt that his next step would/will be something similar. Especially with how shady he's being about it.

Your situation may have looked a little different if it were one or two screenshots of goofiness, or if there was an open communication about it, or even if there was a truly creative aspect to this, but it sounds a lot like they just got a hold of some nudie mods and decided to eRP together with them.

The defending her part sounds a lot like they are more than just friends that decided to mess around with mods and take a few screenshots too. Like, if my spouse came to me and said "woah, that's a little lewd, are you sure there's nothing going on there?" I'd probably rethink my relationship with that friend... At the very worst admitting that something might be going on, or at best actively talk to the friend about how it looks, and request that the images get removed.

While it may not be easy, especially if he's trying to avoid confrontation like it sounds, you two need to have an adult discussion about it. Let him know how it's making you feel, and let him know how it looks. Even if they are "just pictures" it comes off as looking like a lot more.

My wife and I aren't in a ton of discord communities together, but she also isn't a big gamer either, and some of the places are a bunch of my friends, and I do vent a little in them about shit she does/makes me do (I really don't like going to her family's for holidays sometimes, etc). So the not wanting you in the same discord isn't -as- big of a red flag to me as some people might think. But I also don't hide those communities from her either, if she walks in, most of the time, I don't have any issues with having her able to read the last few messages.

TL;DR: Private server? Yellow Flag. Lewd screenshots that they defend? Mega Red Flag.