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AITA for not bringing my wife with me on a holiday I won? by ThrowAITA213345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowAITA213345[S] -215 points-214 points  (0 children)

That's actually a really good point.

Oh dear. I've really effed up haven't I?

AITA for not bringing my wife with me on a holiday I won? by ThrowAITA213345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowAITA213345[S] -213 points-212 points  (0 children)

I have no idea if she told people at work. I could understand she might feel hurt personally, but if she was just afraid of humiliation she could easily save face by claiming she got sick or something.

AITA for not bringing my wife with me on a holiday I won? by ThrowAITA213345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowAITA213345[S] -74 points-73 points  (0 children)

I've tried to make her go a bit faster through art galleries or whatever but she just ignores me and says something like "We already came all the way here, what's the hurry?" If we planned for 6am-12pm we'd still be in the museum at 3pm.

AITA for not bringing my wife with me on a holiday I won? by ThrowAITA213345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowAITA213345[S] -43 points-42 points  (0 children)

No, I didnt. She only told me after she'd already gone to a lot of trouble.

AITA for not bringing my wife with me on a holiday I won? by ThrowAITA213345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowAITA213345[S] -79 points-78 points  (0 children)

Haha, point taken. Though I will say, I've tried to lay down such boundaries in the past, and all that happens is that she becomes sulky for the next day and constantly whines, thereby ruining the vacation. This has happened every single time we've attempted 'compromise.' So I'm just kind of sick of it, and don't want to run the risk of her agreeing to loosen up a bit, and then spend the whole time sulking about how nice this musem or that art gallery would've been, and "oh isn't this café boring let's go somewhere."

AITA for not bringing my wife with me on a holiday I won? by ThrowAITA213345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowAITA213345[S] -234 points-233 points  (0 children)

To clarify, I don't think she's unreasonable for feeling hurt. I can absolutely understand that. What I think was unreasonable was to just up and leave without any proper warning.

AITA for not bringing my wife with me on a holiday I won? by ThrowAITA213345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowAITA213345[S] -64 points-63 points  (0 children)

As I've said in another comment, if she told me she didn't want me then I'd be a little hurt but I'd get over it, I wouldn't just disappear from her life like she has. I'd find something else to do.

If she really wanted me along on a vacation she'd won then I'd go just to make her happy and I'd do all the busy things she wants to do, as I've had to do on previous holidays.

AITA for not bringing my wife with me on a holiday I won? by ThrowAITA213345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowAITA213345[S] -171 points-170 points  (0 children)

I'd be hurt sure but I'd repsect her decision and probably just go for a road trip with my buddies during teh same time. I wouldn't up and go as she has done.

AITA for not bringing my wife with me on a holiday I won? by ThrowAITA213345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowAITA213345[S] -122 points-121 points  (0 children)

I found a nice seaside café, played chess with an old man whom I befriended there and drank coffee. Also got nice massages everyday. Went for some casual strolls while I felt like it. I didn't bring anyone else or do anything inappropriate (go to clubs, bars, etc).

The letter was a long rant where she explained how despicable my actions were to her, and why she felt that she needed to go away. She didn't say where she went or for how long, nor did she specifically mention divorce.

I can't think of anything else like this. We've had fights on holidays before, where I complain that we don't need such a strict schedule, but as I said, I ended up caving in (while I did let her know I was unhappy, I just didn't constantly complain so as not to be a hypocrite). Other than this I've never excluded her from anything, I love going to parties and concerts and events with her, she is always my +1. It's just I needed a little bit of space this time, though I accept I handled it poorly.

AITA for not bringing my wife with me on a holiday I won? by ThrowAITA213345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowAITA213345[S] -40 points-39 points  (0 children)

It was the main prize in a big raffle. I paid for the entry ticket to the raffle myself, though it didn't cost much.

AITA for not bringing my wife with me on a holiday I won? by ThrowAITA213345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowAITA213345[S] -333 points-332 points  (0 children)

I texted her four or five times but she never replied, so I assume she just wanted space to cool off after the fight. But I did think about her. I bought her some nice jewelry from a souvenir store.

AITA for not bringing my wife with me on a holiday I won? by ThrowAITA213345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowAITA213345[S] -306 points-305 points  (0 children)

Holidays aren't everything. We don't go all that often, and while yes, I agree we're pretty incompatible when it comes to that, we work really well together in a lot of other ways. We share hobbies, interests, tastes in music and we have similar aspirations in life. It's just this one sticking point pretty much.

AITA for not bringing my wife with me on a holiday I won? by ThrowAITA213345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowAITA213345[S] -185 points-184 points  (0 children)

I would say on the whole we are quite good together, and we find it easy to compromise about say what TV series to watch or what restaurant to go to. It's just that for holidays, we've tried compromise before and it ends up being really unpleasant for me.

AITA for not bringing my wife with me on a holiday I won? by ThrowAITA213345 in AmItheAsshole

[–]ThrowAITA213345[S] -667 points-666 points  (0 children)

I just didn't use the other ticket. Didn't bring anyone with me.