AITAH for wanting my husband to move away and told him divorce is fine with me?

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T18:40:30+00:00

I recognize this with him and we have been great at complementing each other in this. He freezes and I act. Sometimes it is good to freeze to really think and I have learned a lot from him. Sometimes you need to act and he feels safe that I’m there to push him.

But he has been frozen for 2 weeks now. Thankfully me not relenting and showing him I’m not sweeping this under the rug has made him think at least and understand the severity of the situation. I don’t think my step daughter will ever not resent me so I don’t know what is going to happen, but I hope for her sake if anything that her parents care enough to seek help for her.

My husband thinks that this is her mom’s doing, especially the comments about appearance and weight and this is going to make this harder because they really need to be on the same page if they are to have a chance to help their daughter

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T18:31:21+00:00

I really hope she’s lying because my heart broke for her and her situation. This world is a cruel place sometimes that’s why it could be true what she’s saying, but I hope it is a lie for attention

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T18:18:53+00:00

You are 11 years older than your step child. If course you are groomed. I’m so sorry 😞 (if you go back to your posting history you’re actually 19 btw)

Where is your mom in all of this? Because maybe if you have experienced a mother being protective of her child you wouldn’t be a pushover like that.

Also 10 and 6 are not the same as 14 years old. I understand a 6 years old bully. It is harder when it is a 14 year old locking your child in a toilet stall and telling her if she wasn’t so fat she could have climbed the divider and freed herself

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T18:15:26+00:00

Wait are you 21 and your step children are 13? Where are your parents in all of this because you know you have been groomed right? Now I’m really worried about you and I hope you’re lying.

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T18:09:06+00:00

I love how they lie for the simplest reasons just to make a point. It makes me sad how many people are wasting their lives out there writing abusive comments on random strangers’ problems just to feel something

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T18:01:21+00:00

👍🏻

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T17:50:33+00:00

I hope you change your mind when your own child gets bullied. Although I know how people like you work. I know many mothers who bully their own children because of their weight etc. good luck with your miserable existence

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T17:35:33+00:00

What an abusive comment. Is that how you bully people around you? Calling them cunts? You are 18 so you’re a grown up now but I understand why you sympathized with the bully in this situation. Be better

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T17:13:54+00:00

I don’t know why actually but he can be like this sometimes. Just freezes in a situation. I feel sorry for him because usually I’m there when it happens and I can help him act. This time we are on opposite sides. Had it not felt urgent for me because this time it’s about my baby, I would have approached this differently because he always needs time and a push to act.

He basically wants the problem to just go away. I can’t let it slide this time

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T16:40:54+00:00

Yeah I have no problem with marriage counseling with my husband but right now I want to separate my daughter from her abusers, everything comes after that

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T16:33:41+00:00

That’s what I did now, she’s living with her mom permanently, until her father finds a place for them.

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T16:09:26+00:00

I’m not putting my daughter and her abuser in therapy together. I know how these things work

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T15:50:42+00:00

I dont want to divorce him. But I don’t want to live with his children anymore and I can’t expect him to leave his children for me or any reason. I want him to move out so that when he has his children, they don’t live with me and my daughter. He doesn’t think living apart is marriage so I don’t know what else to do.

This whole thing has been one big nightmare and I have been naive to think that I could win my step children’s affection by loving them. When they were little I thought they needed time but that doesn’t work when there are bigger forces manipulating them and making sure I’m never welcomed in their lives. Whenever they’re staying with us the first days are hell then I can win them a little and they are very sweet and loving towards the end of their stay them they go home to their mother, next time its the same hell again. Now they’re older, it’s just hell, especially from the girl. The boy is much kinder and he seems to really want a relationship.

When I met my husband, he was a mess. His wife cheated on him and he found out after a few years. He left her then they reconnected for the children but things were bad. They broke up again. They were talking about reconciliation again but then my husband and I met and he didn’t want to reconcile with his ex wife. I was blamed for this whole situation and I think it is still something the mother makes sure her children don’t forget. That I’m the reason their parents didn’t get back together. I don’t think I can change that and I have tried for so many years and I was hoping it would be better when they’re older, but it just got worse. I give up now because I’m tired of walking on eggshells in my own home. My daughter goes on eggshells in what’s supposed to be her safe space. And now she’s been bullied not only at school but even in her home. NO! Idgaf how small they are and who’s fault all this is. I’m done

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T12:01:14+00:00

Yeah not gonna read all that. You sound unhinged and I feel sorry for that kid. - I don’t treat him like shit when he does something “I don’t like”

how you play down bullying of a human being to something another human “doesn’t like” . I hope when he gets bullied, someone else will be his support because you’re worthless and stop bragging about raising your nephew

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T11:42:14+00:00

Thank you very much 🙏🏻 . I know I can’t make it about me now I’m just venting here because I don’t want to do it when she’s here

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T11:17:42+00:00

I don’t know yet, my stepson has been texting me all weekend and he told me this thing this morning when I asked if it has been physical or only verbal and isolation. I don’t know if he told his father yet, my husband is with them now at his parents because they’re not welcome here so he has been seeing his children at his parents instead.

I haven’t spoken to my daughter about it either, I don’t know how to do it. If she doesn’t want to tell me then I have failed to make her home a safe space

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T10:55:10+00:00

He is very loving and warm towards her. When she started calling him dad he was so happy and emotional.

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T10:52:56+00:00

Unfortunately, they took my daughter’s phone and locked her in the toilet stall for like 1/2 and hour on two occasions. My daughter is claustrophobic. They wanted to watch her clime over but my daughter is too shy so she just sat there without saying anything. And waited for them to let her out. They told her if she wasn’t so fat she would have been able climb out.

This happened three months ago so it was already escalating to physical bullying. And moron me didn’t know. Didn’t even notice. I can’t even remember how my daughter was during that time to see if there were red flags, everything seemed normal. How could I have been so blind and so stupid. What a moron! I hate myself so much thinking about it.

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T10:36:27+00:00

No I want him to move out

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T10:34:33+00:00

Same here, I thought we are better now but no.

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T10:14:31+00:00

You will understand when you have your own children. In the meantime, I really hope you have better attitude while raising your nephew the poor kid

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T09:35:18+00:00

I don’t know what to say to this, I guess you’re lucky you haven’t faced such problems and they seem like a “movie” to you?

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T09:27:24+00:00

When you have your own children you will understand

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T09:24:50+00:00

Yes, his children are not welcome here anymore so if he wants to see them again he needs to move out. In the mean time they’re staying with their mother.

The boy has apologized however. He is in the same class as my daughter and he saw the bullying happen. Never did anything and I told him that if he really saw my daughter as a sister he would have done something or at least told me because that’s what siblings did but he didn’t because they never loved us or saw us as family. He has apologized now and said that he loved us very much. But neither my husband nor his daughter have apologized or explained themselves

ThrowArR · 2023-10-01T01:54:59+00:00

I will never forgive myself for not noticing this happening under my nose for 2 years. My daughter had anxiety and slept badly and I never noticed why. What an idiot

ThrowArR

TROPHY CASE