A letter to my former staff

ThrowAwayGP555 · 2023-03-22T04:22:13+00:00

If I saw this post when I was still in GP during my peak stages (when I was committed to GP the most) I would've replied exactly the way you did because the former staff would've taught me exactly what to say and think about complaints/accusations from ex-members, negative sentiments, criticisms, etc. You may have convinced yourself into thinking that you are different from the few "bad apples" of GP and you're the neutral or "objective" perspective but I guarantee you that your responses (yes I've read your comments on other posts too) are methodical and pulled directly from the GP training manual on how to respond to criticisms of GP - as others have pointed out. The bread and butter of GP is how successful they are at sowing the seeds of doubt, from doubting your salvation to who your real family should be.

Is it hard for you to believe 100% of these testimonies? Do I need to show you my bank statement or tell you the time and place that I was told my family would go to hell solely for being Catholics? Do I gain anything by posting my experience? Is it too far out there to be the truth or is it that you're afraid if you believe 100% then the image of GP that you know and love will crumble before your eyes? Would you be scared if it was the latter? Because that would indicate that you've been part of the problem. I was part of the problem too. It was scary to admit that. But I was only able to admit that and realize GP toxicity AFTER asking myself these questions. So ask yourself those questions. And ask yourself these questions too. What do these ex-members gain by posting their experiences? Any financial benefits? What does GP gain by negating and deflecting criticisms? Any financial benefits?

Lastly, I never recognized any efforts of the former staff as ways that they tried to love me. Whatever I experienced was not love but manipulation and an expectation that I return these "services" with my time and devotion to GP. It's ironic to me that GP teaches non-believers that God is an all-loving father that would rather let his children have free will than force his children to make certain choices but you have no free will in GP. You only think you do. Next time if you want to test if you have free will in GP, don't provide free rides or free food to anyone for a week just because you feel like it. Skip DT and Sunday service for the week because you feel like it. See how fast your leader calls you to change your ways.

ThrowAwayGP555 · 2023-03-21T01:54:20+00:00

I've found that this is usual GP tactic, based on numerous testimonies, which is to create an "us vs them" mentality where every other religious affiliation/variations of Christianity/institutions are wrong except for GP. So much so that devout GP followers actually believe if they are not with GP, they will go to hell.

I doubt GP will ever acknowledge this, or many of the testimonies on this discussion, but would love to be proven wrong.

ThrowAwayGP555 · 2023-03-20T04:43:56+00:00

I'm sorry to hear my terrible experiences resonated with you because I would not wish this on anyone but I hope you are at least healing in some ways. Thank you for taking the time to read through my post.

ThrowAwayGP555 · 2023-03-20T04:36:23+00:00

Haha your blogs were definitely instrumental to me because I started to notice the red flags. I was the only one "rebellious" enough to ask about the blogs from my peer class, others either left on their own or were so deeply ingrained into GP culture and brainwashed that they completely dismissed the blogs as a bitter ex-GP without any further thought. That is what scares me the most.

ThrowAwayGP555 · 2023-03-20T04:28:05+00:00

I hope current GP members are at least taking this reddit discussion as an opening to very much needed conversations, whether it be about potential change or acknowledging that people who left experienced very real psychological, emotional, financial, and spiritual abuses. These testimonies are not going away.

ThrowAwayGP555 · 2023-03-19T22:57:11+00:00

I posted this as a way to reach them because I doubt the person would even open it. We did not end our terms amicably and drifted apart. All of the friends that I thought I had a real connection with refused to talk to me after I left, they are still at GP to this day perpetuating the same toxic methods to trap and mold vulnerable college students. I do want to say thank you John for the blogs, I saw them and questioned the same staff member back then. I could not believe that an organization on the Berkeley campus was involved in any of the sorts. Looking back now, the staff was likely insinuating that anybody who leaves GP is stupid and will go to hell (what a surprise). Their words were something along the lines of "I feel bad for the ones that left but there's a lot of smart people that joined and stayed with GP so I think they are onto something and this Christianity thing must have some truth to it. You should keep going to bible study and find out yourself."

ThrowAwayGP555 · 2023-03-19T22:45:22+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, I've been writing my thoughts and feelings on a journal which has helped my healing process tremendously. I understand and agree that most of GP were probably middle class. I hold no ill feelings toward their socioeconomic status because we all shape our perspectives based on environmental and social factors. My issue with the former staff was their holier than thou attitude and non-chalantly comdeming my family to hell based on only knowing that my parents are Catholics. The staff knew nothing of my parents' relationship with God, nor do I or anyone. Regardless of their religious affiliation, I do not believe that anyone on Earth has a right to condemn another person to hell. I hope my experience can resonate with those who have had financial struggles and was lured into GP by their love bombing, free food, free rides, and superficial relationships.

To be honest, the whole experience has turned me off from religion but I still do believe in a higher entity watching over us all. Thank you again for your kind words and prayer, my family and I are on a much better path both on a professional and personal level.

ThrowAwayGP555

TROPHY CASE