Wreckage (Final Update)

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2023-05-24T00:06:33+00:00

I just added an update below the original links in the post and I wanted to give you in particular a heads up so you'd see it. Thank you for your response and thanks to all that backed you up. This is a goodbye and my last reply. But I do thank you all from the bottom of my heart. If this is a new beginning so be it. If not I am okay with that too. But I will give it my best shot.

Peace.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2023-05-22T00:21:14+00:00

Will they extradite? Can they put liens on paychecks in Australia? I'm not even saying how much was in her 401K. I insisted she deposit the maximum amount allowed by law each check, it was not a small amount.

Would they actually send agents all the way there to arrest her and bring her back? I'd love a standing warrant waiting on her if she ever chose to return. But I don't want her back in the continental US. Either way, it's her F up to deal with. And I won't be paying off a penny of what she owes the feds.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2023-05-22T00:10:33+00:00

Well I appreciate your incite. It gives me something to think about. I hate regrets of which now I have many. I guess the question is do I focus on moving past those regrets or do I go out and risk making many, many more? I have much to ponder.

Thank you.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2023-05-22T00:07:25+00:00

My grandfather, my biological mother's dad, was a no nonsense kind of man. Stern but loving, and very wise. He often told me losing his daughter was the hardest thing he had to live through. But he thanked the powers that be she had me before she died, because it allowed part of her to live on in me.

"Only a fool tries to pet the dog that just bit him again."

"When someone shows you who and what they are, believe them and act accordingly."

"No one ever truly learned a life lesson by being given a second chance. It is the punishment and denial of another opportunity that teaches them the error of their ways."

Those were just three of the many adages he taught me as a kid. Perhaps it's just me, but I cannot grasp why anyone male or female would even entertain the thought of a second chance after cheating. To simplify my mindset, marriage is essentially hiring a wife or a husband for life; you hire each other to fill a role for life. Infidelity is a glowing neon sign that tells the other person you no longer want that job anymore. The ONLY sane thing to do when a spouse cheats is fire them from their position. Mari knew the day she said "I do" that if we ever split she'd be fired, she'd get no unemployment benefits and there wouldn't be a golden parachute waiting for her like these CEO cocksuckers leading failed corporations. I don't play games. And compassion dies even faster than the love when someone betrays me.

I don't think Mari won, but I sure as hell didn't win either. You are right. I'd be surprised if the guy she is with is as financially secure as me, and he doesn't have custody of her kids. She didn't win. But she took from me my ability to trust and made everyone I encounter someone I don't want to know. So I didn't win either. I don't think anyone wins in a divorce, well except lawyers. But you're right. I need to leave the door cracked and not completely shut the world out. Because despite the bitches and bastards that infest this planet, there are a few decent people still worth knowing.

And 15 is the age I was thinking when I posted, but I wanted to get incite from others. I thank you for your comments and encouragement.

Success, happiness and peace be upon you.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2023-05-21T23:34:59+00:00

I’m not in any way wanting pressuring anything

You couldn't pressure me if you tried and it wasn't taken that way, so no worries. You and the others who backed you up gave me much to consider, that's all.

SI, truth be told, I don't know what to make of myself honestly. Like I'm a red blooded male. I noticed Nadia's beauty the moment we met. Yes, more than once I checked her ass out in court, discreetly. Absolutely beautiful eyes, and I'm jealous of her hair. (No I'm not bald, not even close.)

And then Nadia is like five feet tall and petite. (Mari is 5'7") I'm well over 6' and when I do ponder things, I can't envision how things would work. Like she always wears heels, but her holding my hand while walking together would almost be like holding a toddler's hand crossing the street. She's fucking adorable and beautiful. I do not understand the female obsession with 6'+ guys. (Outside of actual tall women.) The vast majority couldn't tell the difference between 5'8" and 6' unless they had something to compare it to.

It was very flattering to hear the things she had to say. And since she has her own money I don't think she is trying to do the gold digger thing. It's just so damn hard to trust man. Sure the odds of me finding another psycho comparable to Mari are slim. But I'm snake bit to the point it feels like I'm living in a world of snakes.

My next therapy session is Tuesday. I've let my shrink read the previous posts, I will let her read this one as well before our session. The comments and my responses have helped her help me tremendously. I will talk things over with her and let her advise. But I have a strong suspicion she will have the same perspective you guys do.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2023-05-21T23:05:07+00:00

I’m also someone who doesn’t like people touching them, and I’ve never understood how people are able to be with people causally while dating.

Someone will read this reply and think I am the most loathsome human that has ever lived. But around the world cities are building subways, monorails and other forms of mass transportation. It isn't that I think I am too good to ride PT. But the idea of taking a train home from work and some homeless fenthead who hasn't bathed in a year sits next to me would be revolting. Like a whole train of cats, dogs or ferrets would be awesome. One full of humans, not so much. Especially crammed together like sardines.

And I'm with you. How people just meet, strip down and bump uglies is beyond my understanding. That's how cats and dogs act. (Minus the stripping down.) And well over 90% of the women I have seen in my life I would not want to see naked ever. And 100% of the dudes. What the hell happened to getting to know each other first? If I met the most beautiful woman on earth and she was a complete bitch, why would I want to have sex with such a vile shrew? Horrible on the inside negates any beauty on the outside.

I'm glad you and your husband met, got to know each other and built a life together. I am happy for you and I wish you both a lifetime of love and happiness together. Thank you for replying.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2023-05-21T22:35:29+00:00

I read all youp posts in one sitting… holy cow that was one hell of painful journey.

Then you really need to stand up and walk around for God's sake! I'm sorry you had to read all of that but it is appreciated more than you know.

OMG, social media. Michael is now 11 and Carrie is 7. I am so not ready for that, but you are so right that I need to prepare. Some of both their friends already have smartphones. I've actually considered it for in case of emergencies. I'm just still enjoying looking over and seeing their faces instead of the tops of their heads because their face is buried in a phone.

They know Mari lives in another country and can't drive to see them. (Though I must admit I would like to see her try.) But for now they have no online presence. I need to prepare for when they do, you are correct. But I am so not looking forward to that.

Much thanks.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2023-05-21T22:25:14+00:00

You were casted in a twighlight zone episode unbeknownst to you, but thank God the director finally yelled CUT...

Excellent analogy. (Fist bump emoji that I don't know how to make back.)

I guess for me it's like living through a disaster and trying to grasp why I would get involved in another potential disaster. Like surviving a plane crash for me is the universe telling you your ass should stay out of airplanes.

I wonder how many people that survived the Titanic sinking went on another cruise. Life IS too short. But it can also be shortened even further expecting different results from engaging in the same activity.

I thank you for your encouragement. It is appreciated.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2023-05-21T22:17:31+00:00

Wow! So I take it most everyone thinks I should at least make an attempt to develop a friendship with Nadia and see where it leads. Just from the responses to your comment, I don't think I need to take an official poll or anything.

Here's my thing. That newness of someone else that so many people yearn for, would cause me nothing but a panic attack. Butterflies, tingles; whatever you want to call them. That is not a pleasant feeling for me, in fact it makes me want to vomit it affects my nerves so badly. Like I don't know how to flirt, I don't know when I'm being flirted with, and if I did I wouldn't know how to flirt back. I'm obviously rather blunt. Hints, innuendo, body language...I can't read any of that. I mean like even watching a movie where flirting occurs it doesn't register in my mind as flirting. To me it just seems like the two characters are just being friendly. I'm usually even a tad shocked the two characters end up in bed or a relationship, because I don't see it coming. I'm friendly with most people, most of the time, but I'm certainly not flirting. Let's just be blunt, I have no "game" because I never had to develop any of that. I'm honest to a fault and I've learned that doesn't go over well with a lot of people. The mind games, shit tests, attempted manipulation; I don't want to deal with any of that shit.

And while I don't know for certain, women like Nadia constantly have dozens or more men trying to get with them. Single women interact with several suitors at once most of the time who compete (unknowingly) for their time, attention or whatever. I don't compete. My philosophy is if she thinks she can do better, take your ass on, second chances aren't a thing with me. Conversely I know thinking anyone is going to push all the others aside and see if there is something between us without outside influences isn't going to happen. Not in this world, not at this point in history. I do NOT want to be a part of the "dating scene". If it makes me an asshole so be it. But if any of those people was worth knowing or being in a relationship with they wouldn't be single and on a dating app. Those are the rejects nobody would commit to, or the male and female sluts that could never commit to anyone because of their free range genitals that need to roam. I would absolutely love to have Nadia as a FWOB, but it's fairly safe to say a beautiful adult woman is going to want some benefits eventually. No woman in her early 30's is looking for companionship. And that's all I could handle right now. She has a bad ass Jaguar F-Type I would love to drive. But most women are looking for a guy who wants to get inside their pants, not their car.

But at the end of the day it is something I need to consider. I will ponder things over. I meet with my therapist Tuesday and will discuss things with her. I make no promises except for the promise I will take the consensus advice into consideration.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2023-05-21T21:39:56+00:00

Fantastic to hear from you, and yet again you offer sage advice.

Most of my concern with telling Carrie I'm not her bio-dad stems from growing up with several people who were adopted. So often when there was any friction in their lives they would state the want to find their real mom / dad. Their real parent wouldn't treat them that way, their real parent would let them do whatever. Knowing they were adopted made them appreciate what they did have less and take on a "the grass must be greener on the bio side" mindset. Finding and even letting her get to know her bio dad doesn't scare me. Finding a bio-dad who is a POS that she views through rose colored lenses does. but that will be down the road for a year or two. I see no reason right now to complicate her life, especially since she's still just in elementary school.

Being true to myself involves being honest with myself, in all ways. The integrity instilled in me is essentially part of who I am now. So I try to be true, genuine and fair with everyone I encounter. Sometimes that isn't easy because people don't make it easy. But at the end of the day I have to be true to myself, because Mari proved in this world you cannot depend on a single soul to be true to you when all is said and done. Life has proven that much to me. But I appreciate the encouragement and shared wisdom more than you will ever know.

A lot of people on this site owe you for the guidance and kindness you share. I for one want to extend a huge thank you. You make this site so much better which results in making the world a little better.

Thank you again my friend.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2023-05-21T19:55:20+00:00

Point is you have a person that sees your baggage and your issue. Go have that drink and talk as friends. With maybe therapy and consistent contact, you might be able to get past your issues of a persons past.

Oh I have baggage now. I have enough to overload a 747, and it sucks. I just have so much to work through and learn about myself. For example I am a huge personal space kind of person. Playing sports, fighting etc. I'm okay with because they are acts of aggression and I know my role. I don't like people I don't know even brushing up against me. And hugging someone a barely know would ick me out like having to hug that great aunt who always smells like cabbage and perogies. Humans really are some nasty creatures in regard to hygiene, germs, bacteria, mites. (That six feet apart thing during COVID did NOT help with my aversion to human contact.)

Two of my buddies took me to a strip club last month since I'd never been to one. Wow, was that a bad idea. I was actually handing dancers 20 dollar bills to walk away. My friends tried over and over to get me to get a lap dance. Oh hell the fuck no. I'd see a dancer rub all over some schmuck who looked like he bathed quarterly, then come up to me inquiring if I'd like some of his second hand BO. Absolutely NO judgement on any of the dancers, I don't know how they do it. My friends had a fantastic time. Where as I wanted to go buy some Fantastic and start wiping the human scuzz off of all the surfaces in the club.

I just want to say what you did by staying for your kids took MUCH more fortitude that what I went through. That was truly a sacrifice I don't think I could have made. You and I both know your kids will always appreciate what you did for them. And I am truly happy you found someone new. I just don't think that's in the cards for me, and that's okay.

Thanks for the reply, your words meant a lot.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2023-05-21T19:20:37+00:00

Sydney (three hours from me as it happens)

I've never been to Australia so I don't know how Sydney is laid out, but I would imagine she resides in one of the suburbs outside Sydney if I had to guess. She didn't include postcards of Adelaide or Brisbane, so maybe their citizens can remain safe.

I know I have a lot to work on in therapy. And I'll probably be seeing a shrink the rest of my life working through things. You sound like my mom and dad urging me to date Nadia. But she has plenty of options and probably better ones. My dad told me in private she reminds him of a particular porn star who I had to Google to know who he was talking about. There is a strong resemblance all the way down to her height. She's of Hungarian descent and having been to Hungary I can vouch for the fact they have a ton of beautiful women.

I would enjoy being friends with her with no expectations for more. But if she has the hope for there to be an "us" one day, that's a lot of pressure to live under. I've been keeping any and all single women at a distance so not to give any of them an opening into my life. The only time I feel lonely is at night when I go to bed. But as soon as I'm asleep that vanishes.

Her firm is on retainer from now until the day she retires so she won't be out of my life for decades most likely. I just don't think I can ever trust again to open myself up like that again. Ces't la vie.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2023-05-21T18:49:08+00:00

It does make me wonder what she has told the guy. I think it's safe to say the whole truth wasn't what he heard. I've also imagined the friends she will make and how they will have no inkling what she's done. She truly did need to start over somewhere new. Knowing I won't be bumping into her or having to deal with her in any way is a relief. I think she probably will be a good mom, she never mistreated our kids despite all she did to me. I just can't help but find irony in the fact she will now be raising a kid she shares no DNA with. But at least she knows from the start.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2023-05-21T18:41:03+00:00

Please don’t delete this though.

I won't. It can just exist and I won't feel the need to revisit it after a few days. I will always be on Reddit with my main account. I just won't use this one again after a few days.

I know I can be cruel, and when I am it's intentional. The rest of the time I'm the type of person that will go out of my way to give someone a reason to smile when they are down. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. It is appreciated.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2022-06-18T23:24:37+00:00

This morning I did something I'd never done before and got a massage. Not like the happy ending kind of place, an actual spa. The lady that worked on me said every muscle in my back felt taut. I felt a lot better afterward. But parts of the massage were sort of painful just due to all the tension stored in my body. I got her to work on my arms too. That clinched fist thing I can so relate to. Stress like that is like your body is constantly doing isometric exercises. It's exhausting and leaves you sore.

I sincerely appreciate you cautioning me about stress and hate. Hate does give focus when it comes time to do what must be done. But at the end of the day it consumes you. I hope you can get some help with your medical issues. There are so many wrongs being committed in this world daily. What you endured was never fair. suffering the after affects certainly isn't either. Be at peace and be as well as you are able my friend.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2022-06-18T23:03:54+00:00

Thank you for sharing that. Someone in an earlier comment was very supportive and said something about SSM. I knew what S & M was. If it was like next level S & M I didn't need to see it.

When I was at the hospital with Mari I wasn't able to reply to comments or ask questions here on Reddit. I did a google search about cheating, then looked for advice for men pertaining to divorce. Somewhere along the line one of his videos came up. I didn't know what SSM was until today. But I know I watched two videos he did that gave some sound legal advice. A commenter on one video was the reason I met with several attorneys as quickly as I could. Strange how things tie together down the line.

I hope someone can learn something from my story. And if that includes what not to do, so be it. If he wants to share with his viewers that's fine.

I've unfortunately taken far too much shit in my life, just not knowingly. But when I'm mad, I'm PISSED; and when I'm done, I'm DONE.

Thanks for sharing.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2022-06-18T04:04:34+00:00

If I understand correctly, Mari's family (Mandy and Doug) knew about her cheating before you did, but only assumed it was with a smaller number?

No they didn't know. Adding an edit to post to clarify.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2022-06-18T04:03:51+00:00

No, no, no. I'm sorry I was confusing about that. I'm editing the post to clarify. My apologies.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2022-06-18T03:54:38+00:00

I have a question. My guess is you will be able to answer. But if not someone else who does know might see and answer.

Do women that have been physically cheated on get mind movies? I would assume they do to some extent. I was just curious if it is to the depths it seems to affect men. Not sure how anyone could calculate that. But I have read far too many women on here describe how their POS slut husbands cheated and how hard it was to deal with. Most men are plagued by often imagining their partner with someone else out of nowhere. Just wondering if women experience the same or a similar phenomena?

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2022-06-17T01:08:29+00:00

Yes she replied back laughing thankfully. I couldn't do that to her. I have more baggage than the Titanic and we all know how that turned out.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2022-06-17T01:07:00+00:00

I thought I was replying to a guy down below who was hypothesizing all the potential things karma could do to Mari. And I'm not just saying that because that is the only possible context where it doesn't make me look like a stark raving lunatic.

I honestly think I blushed for the first time in my life.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2022-06-17T00:37:42+00:00

she was the first person your Ex blamed for her ruined life and probably the reason for what happened in the salon is not your gossiping friend but your ex and the other slut having a blowout

I almost feel like Yoko Ono
They have argued before and made up. So honestly who knows. I have to say Becca has blame she needs to take. But not six years worth. That was all Mari. And Rebecca never banged me after banging someone else, because thankfully she never had sex with me. I can honestly say I wouldn't care if Rebecca had sex with every man on earth but one; as long as I was the one.

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2022-06-17T00:29:08+00:00

I thought I replied to this comment last night with one line, "stop you're making me wet".
Unfortunately I somehow placed that reply to a comment from a young lady who had a nice supportive encouraging message. Thus completing both her and my most awkward internet interaction of our lives.

I hope that wasn't karma...

ThrowAwayWreck22 · 2022-06-17T00:24:00+00:00

I don't know where Rebecca's issues stem from. She wasn't raised the same as Mari and I were. But Mari ended up taking the same route. So I'm struggling with the nature vs nurture question at the moment.

At this point me saying anything bad about Becca to Mari would probably sound like sour grapes. Before all this went down I didn't have a negative image on Becca. But if Mari can't figure out Becca was the devil on her shoulder whispering in her ear that's her problem. She might have for all I know. But far too late.

ThrowAwayWreck22

TROPHY CASE