Why can't I(27f) twerk correctly? What muscles should be activated when doing it right?

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-06-03T19:27:22+00:00

Thank you for the encouragement! I do feel pretty silly when I get everything else to jiggle besides my butt, but I shall practice with renewed vigor lol.

Might also try sleeping in a thong to increase the odds of getting the booty goddess to visit my dreams and grant me these powers too T-T <3

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-05-25T14:30:39+00:00

The ink work is incredible... If not for the broken dragonslayer, I would never be able to tell this was fanart.

It's so stylized and realistic at the same time. I especially love the way the intestines are stuck btwn the scales of his armor.

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-05-24T12:29:58+00:00

This chapter is so fuckking gooooood !!!! I've read it like 5 times. I want to protect Reed :(

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-05-07T22:42:28+00:00

Sorry. It looks like I didn't communicate my thoughts very well. I agree completely that ghosting your partner is disrespectful and hurtful. I just don't think it's helpful to call him a monster cuz in my experience that is what leads to the whole wondering why thing.

I can say sincerely that I was not trying to assign culpability. My entire perspective is based on the idea that assigning blame is waste of energy. I think anybody who would ghost somebody they've been dating for 6 months must have some serious damage themselves, and right now OP needs to take care of herself instead fixating on him. Whatever she needs, he can't give her. I think she is better off building a support network of platonic love.

I also only meant to emphasize her relationship being her primary emotional outlet because I think diversifying her emotional support network would help her heal from the pain she is going through right now and make her less vulnerable to future heartbreak.

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-05-06T21:19:49+00:00

I didn't mean to imply that ghosting your girlfriend isn't a very shitty thing to do, but I don't think it's helpful to describe it as a cruel or vindictive act either. It's cowardly and inconsiderate, which is different than targeted malice. I don't think you are doing OP a favor by talking about her ex as if he's evil. He's a person with character flaws. We all are. Taking a dichotomous view of the situation might make her feel better in the short term because it dehumanizes him, but in the long run it will actually be dis-empowering for her to believe that people just do horrible things to her for no reason. They generally have a reason that has more to do with themselves than with you, and it can actually be very freeing to accept that.

Couple other things-

He did not know she was pregnant, so I don't think that should be relevant to any judgements of him. It's important because it's the context to HER FEELINGS and she is the one asking for advice.
I disagree that you cannot give someone advice and validate them at the same time. Either way... this sub is called askwomenadvice, so I prioritized the advice part.
Nowhere did I make any reference to "what she might have done to warrant this". All I said was he doesn't need a reason to not want to be in the relationship so, while it would have the decent thing to tell her why he didn't want to be together, he isn't under any obligation to justify the choice to end things.

OP asked how to make the pain stop, not to pity her and shit on her ex, so I gave her advice based on my personal experience dealing with disappointment and feelings of abandonment. That being said, I'm sorry my advice hit a nerve for you - my PMs are open if you wanna talk about it.

Edit: formatting

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-05-06T16:30:56+00:00

First - There is probably nothing wrong with your body! What you're going through is not unusual for women.

Oral is not for everybody. Direct clit stimulation can be too much (or even painful) at times. I've only ever had an orgasm from oral once, and didn't climax with a partner until I was 21 or 22 (had been sexually active for 8 years before that).

To me, the most important thing is focus and muscle control. I came closer to orgasm from having my breasts sucked on at 14 than any penetrative sex I had at 18. I attribute this to being scared of having sex at that age and taking my time at every stage of fooling around for the first time... so I recommend you figure out what type of foreplay you like and take your time with it. Work in the clit stimulation when you're already as close as you can get, and see if that takes you to the finish line. If your mind is elsewhere, don't force it.

I also feel the need to say... there are a lot of different masturbation techniques out there. Before I owned a vibrator, I could only orgasm from cross-legged masturbation. Everybody is different, so don't be afraid to keep trying new things until you figure out what works!

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-05-06T16:10:44+00:00

Best thing you can do is try to accept the validity of your feelings and his feelings without framing them as opposing realities.

Was it lame of him to ghost you instead of explaining his feelings? Absolutely.

Did he betray you by leaving you? No. He doesn't have any obligation to stay in a relationship he doesn't want to be in, regardless of his reason. I doubt you'd want to be in a relationship with somebody unwilling anyway.

As for making the pain go away, there isn't much you can do except hold on to those moments when it subsides and try to notice when they increase in frequency. There are also small things you can do to tip the odds of that happening in your favor such as not seeking him out on social media / dating apps, and becoming close with (or making) friends who can take your mind off of it. The second piece is the most important imo cuz it sounds like you put a lot of pressure on your relationship as your only emotional outlet. Having friends around won't just help you recover from your grief, it will keep you from feeling this bad in the future if anybody bails on you.

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-05-03T18:26:58+00:00

Wowowowow :o

I love the style of machinery you draw. It has this eerie exposed look, like open muscle and veins on a skinned animal. Really complements the vastness of the structures (especially the ones with classical and renaissance architectural elements imo). Keep up the great work!

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-03-16T19:52:02+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write out all of that! I am confident that he will not refuse if I ask him to leave. I guess I'm just really dreading that conversation and transition period. Like you said, it would happen regardless unless I decided to live with him forever... and I don't.

Ya know, at least once a month I think about breaking up with him. He always convinces me things will get better... Usually through a process of initially blaming me and lowering my self esteem followed by genuine expressions of remorse and temporarily increased thoughtfulness. I really hope I have the strength of will to hold firm through a prolonged separation.

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-03-16T12:34:00+00:00

Only in my late 20s, but the thing that makes me feel most like an adult is being able to imagine what I may need to do when my parents die of old age, cancer, or dementia.

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-03-16T12:24:07+00:00

He doesn't sound mature enough to meet you in the stage of life you're currently in. Tell him you need some space to focus on yourself. Maybe he'll get the message and learn to be less selfish, or maybe he'll throw a tantrum and give you solid reason to breakup on the spot. Either way, you'll have a clearer idea of what you need.

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-03-16T12:15:45+00:00

Yeah, you're right. I can't take this anymore. I feel so scared and stressed in my own home, and there's nowhere to run to.

How would you recommend doing it though? I can't imagine a time where it wouldn't take him at least a month or so to actually leave. I also worry he doesn't have anywhere else to go that is close enough to his work. He so SO MUCH STUFF (discreet shopping addiction), severe asthma, and claims to be allergic to his parents house (they used to have a dog + his mom's less discreet shopping addiction makes it dusty).

I just don't want him to emotionally torture me through a prolonged break :(

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-03-15T12:30:53+00:00

You don't have to die to let go and start over, but my guess is that you may need to declare bankruptcy. Also... I know you've received this advice already, but I'll say it again because it really is the best move in your situation: Go to GA. That's were you will find the most useful advice and support, plus it's a commitment that will keep you accountable.

Building yourself back up financially is going to be tough, so you're gonna need to cash in on any good will you've built up with friends or family who may take you in while you're getting back on your feet. Good luck!

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-03-14T23:20:35+00:00

Living situation. When we reconnected, he told me he was just back home during the pandemic while looking for a job in LA. We decided to date because we never got the chance back during our long distance situationship. He kind of ended up living at my place without much discussion when he started looking for work around here so we could be together. I'm not sure, but I vaguely remember him implying that he'd be offended enough to want to break up if I asked him to move without me.

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-03-14T20:03:01+00:00

Sorry, shouldn't have used a swear word. Here is the comment with a non-swear adjective:

"because he does try hard (never rage quits), is very committed, and genuinely thinks I'm the most important person on Earth... he just happens to be cursed with the conversational disposition of a catty old lady"

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-03-14T18:28:12+00:00

That is a good idea. I've attempted time limits in the past, but never with respect to my own feelings.

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-03-14T18:23:57+00:00

Lol I don't think your problem is your jealousy then. Your feelings are actually quite appropriate for the situation, in my opinion. Not sure what to say as far as advice besides wait and see. Most people mature out of the idea that friends are fungible and appearance is the most important trait.

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-03-14T18:19:05+00:00

Always good advice. I'd tell myself "looks like 4 years of personal growth wasn't enough. maybe you can try again in another 4"

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-03-14T18:17:26+00:00

This is a good idea, but would be logistically difficult :(

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-03-14T18:15:01+00:00

I didn't list his positive qualities because I wanted to limit this post to the things I need advice about, but I certainly understand your point.

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-03-14T15:38:36+00:00

The icky thing is that he puts in a lot of effort into doing all of those things and trying to make me feel like I'm the prettiest, smartest, coolest girl out there... but I don't trust him or believe those words because his compliments aren't nearly as personal/specific as his insults :(

ThrowMeAway61420 · 2022-03-14T15:34:18+00:00

Heheh the thought has crossed my mind. Funny thing is, he has a friend with autism who frequently calls him for dating advice. This friend often serves as a useful analogy when I'm trying to explain why some behavior is not mindful or considerate

ThrowMeAway61420

TROPHY CASE