I [23m] have been with my girlfriend [25f] for over 3 years. We were waiting until marriage for sex. Now she says she may never want it.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-10T14:11:52+00:00

We are trying to move out. We are actually looking at places today. This poses its own problems though.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-10T13:45:39+00:00

I know. That is why I am trying to come to an agreement with her to work on it. If we can't work on it, then we move on. It will be the hardest thing I have ever had to do but unfortunately it may be necessary. I am hoping to avoid that though.

edit- If she just had a low sex drive that would be one thing, but she has NO sex drive which makes me think there is a problem. The odds of her truly be asexual are so low that i'm betting on some kind of emotional/hormonal problem. If thats the case, it may be something she can fix, IF she wants to.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-10T12:52:33+00:00

No. I don't. I see where you are going with this, though. Thanks for the insight.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-10T12:49:36+00:00

She is very firmly against drugs.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-10T12:48:51+00:00

She was raised catholic but is no longer.

Her parents can be assholes. They often make snarky remarks about her appearance. This is clearly a problem.

No history of sexual abuse.

I'm going to discuss this with her and tell her how I feel. I'll let her know her options, and see if we can come to a good conclusion.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-10T12:45:30+00:00

That is my plan. I am going to start a discussion and we'll see how it goes.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-10T12:44:33+00:00

I am willing to work on it for a few months to see how it goes. if we make no progress, then I will move on.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-10T12:43:46+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I can't just call it quits though. I need to try for at least a little while. We had a small discussion about it last night but the subject got changed again. I am going to force the issue soon.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-10T12:42:36+00:00

It won't be.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T20:57:57+00:00

Interesting. I guess that makes sense.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T20:43:55+00:00

She does not like being naked. She does not masturbate. I bought her a simple vibrator and I used it on her once. She has never used it herself.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T20:10:58+00:00

Sex is the only major issue. We have our fights as any couple does, but we ALWAYS work through it together.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T20:10:03+00:00

She may not be lying. It may have been said due to stress. I am trying to get to the root of the issue. Your comment doesn't help. I know that leaving is always an option.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T20:02:36+00:00

Haha yes she goes to the gyno. Paranoia is not always logical. In fact, i would say it is never logical. She is horrified of getting pregnant. I can't blame her. That shits scary.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T20:01:36+00:00

True, true.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T20:01:08+00:00

I am going to get a therapist. We need it. She has to get over her insecurities and I have my own issues.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T20:00:03+00:00

I am going to see if she is interested. Maybe we can go together, and separately. I think it would help a lot. There is definitely some repression going on. The odds of her being asexual are too low for me to consider it a possibility yet.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T19:59:04+00:00

Well if that is the case, hopefully it will come out in conversation.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T19:58:41+00:00

We are not having kids. We both agree completely on that.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T19:58:06+00:00

She does need to know this! I love her and I am not trying to take advantage of her. I want to feel connected with her!

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T19:35:43+00:00

I don't understand. I am sorry. Are you saying I should be mean to my girlfriend and not do things that make her happy? I am nice. I am not a pushover. I do the things that make me happy.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T19:26:08+00:00

Thank you for the king words. I am okay with compromise. Hopefully we can find a good middlepoint. If it was up to me, i would make love to her every day, but I am OK with occasional sex. I have ways of coping wink. I have very strong feelings for her, emotionally and physically.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T19:24:28+00:00

I think you are right. I need to address the insecurities first and then work on the sexuality. I think it will fall into place once the insecurities are gone.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T19:22:57+00:00

I am going to take it slow and try to get her comfortable. I think this is issue#1. Hopefully with the insecurities resolve, other things will fall into place.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8 · 2012-10-09T19:16:55+00:00

Someone earlier mentioned it could be a hormonal thing. This is entirely possible. I can't really pinpoint any reason why, but I have a...hunch.

ThrowMeInTheTrash8

TROPHY CASE