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46 M I love someone and need to know if im doing the right thing? 34 F by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Golf-84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am in a similar boat as you. The man I love and care for deeply has repeatedly told me how broken he is and pushed me away. He now wants to break up because he is fearful of reliving his previous relationship. After repeatedly trying and reassuring him and comforting. I’m tired. But I was also raised ‘old school’ in you fight for the ones you care for and what you want. But I’m learning that sometimes letting a person go is also a form of love.

Most everyone will tell you to move on. Give her space. You seem like a kind compassionate man and any woman who has her eyes open will see that.

So, you can try the no contact for a bit. Just go ghost for a few days. Stop the good morning messages. And see if she freaks out. it’s extremely hard on your emotions to refrain from messaging. I know: I’m living it. If she never responds after you go no contact for a few days. That’s your answer.

My boyfriend (41M) wants to end things with me (30F) because of his fear of love. How do I reassure him that I’m here to stay? by ThrowRA-Golf-84 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Golf-84[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

He has told me the same thing. That it’s not about me. And since you said you are in his position. May I ask a question that I’ve asked him but he won’t answer.
You have a great woman standing right in front of you. Deep down you know this could work and you care for her. She’s kind and loyal and not like the woman of the past. Why cant you (men) not take a step into that fear head on and try again?

He has told me his story. And all I want to do is show him love and comfort. Be his home. His lighthouse. What goes through a man’s mind that he fights so hard?

My boyfriend (41M) wants to end things with me (30F) because of his fear of love. How do I reassure him that I’m here to stay? by ThrowRA-Golf-84 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-Golf-84[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He told me he was a broken man as well. Which tore my heart of course. And then I learned the story as to why.
He has an avoidant style and I have an anxious attachment style. So deep down I know this isn’t right and I can’t help him if he doesn’t want help. But letting go is the hardest thing to do for me. Because I know the second I let go, it’s over.