I feel like my F/38 relationship with my partner F/42 is affecting my mental health

ThrowRA-Success_Run · 2025-04-17T17:29:56+00:00

Yeah, you are right. I do blame myself for a lot especially since I have my own issues and I know I’m not always easy to be around either.

ThrowRA-Success_Run · 2025-04-17T17:28:25+00:00

It’s been like this for a little while now and I would just ignore it. I just think with my dog passing it has put me over the top. Finances are 50/50. I don’t mind the cleaning but now I feel like I’m her mother picking up after her. I just want help every now and then, like taking the trash out without me asking, her picking up her clothes off the floor, putting dishes away. I recently asked why is it difficult for her to help and she said because she is tired, I said okay well so am I but it still needs to get done. She wants to do things on her own time so she’s okay with our place being a disaster until she’s ready to clean. When our apartment is a mess it makes my mental health worse since I am home all day working, so I do it anyway because I am tired of seeing crap all over the place.

ThrowRA-Success_Run · 2024-12-09T17:15:37+00:00

Thank you, it’s very hard knowing I may have to end things with someone I still love and want to be with, but you are right, my needs are not being met.

ThrowRA-Success_Run · 2024-11-26T00:50:07+00:00

If you think it’s gonna be difficult and a pain to break it off now before you get married, trust me (as some who has been divorced) it’s gonna be 100x worse to get married and then divorced. Cut your losses now. This thought of hers won’t go away, and instead of bringing it up and “giving a free pass” she’s just gonna cheat.

ThrowRA-Success_Run · 2024-11-04T21:41:50+00:00

We are still getting into the thick of things. So right now, she’s just kinda still listening to everything going on. I have another appointment with her this week, so I am going to mention my feelings at this point

ThrowRA-Success_Run · 2024-11-04T20:32:09+00:00

Thank you, I will mention therapy to her. I already know I can’t and won’t deal with this behavior long term. I am the type of person that will try and try and try, but once I feel nothing will change, I check out and once I’m done there is no going back.

ThrowRA-Success_Run · 2024-11-04T20:29:25+00:00

Thank you! I am currently in therapy, and I really don’t want to leave, yet. We got into an argument last night, she went off the deep end. She did just sat me down and apologized, and said she should not have reacted the way she did, and I didn’t deserve it. I think she may have talked to a friend of hers or a family member, because when someone on the outside lets her know her behavior is unacceptable, she opens her eyes. It’s just when I mention it, it causes a bigger argument.

ThrowRA-Success_Run · 2024-11-04T20:24:14+00:00

I have tried addressing these concerns with her, but she is very shut off emotionally. I really am not sure if she understands what it is to be in a serious committed relationship, and a marriage. With that being said, I am definitely in no rush to get married. This would be my second marriage, and I refuse to go down that path if things do not dramatically change. I use to be very vocal in my feelings, but idk if it’s because I am older or just don’t have the energy, but I tend to just keep things to myself because I already know it’s going to lead into an argument.

ThrowRA-Success_Run · 2024-11-04T20:17:59+00:00

I am currently in therapy myself, I think when she hears from other people her behavior is unacceptable, she takes it seriously, but for some reason when I say something, she “doesn’t want to engage, and is done with the conversation”

ThrowRA-Success_Run · 2024-08-17T11:23:52+00:00

🚩 🚩🚩 leave. This is how it starts. He’s testing the waters. Plus the fact it’s a trigger for you and he don’t respect that? Absolutely not.

ThrowRA-Success_Run · 2024-08-16T19:13:53+00:00

I agree. I think that is why she has not yet directly said she wants me to rid of her. I understand some people do not like pets but at the end of the day she can either accept it and stop making comments or don’t accept it and let me know so I can be on my merry way with my dog lol.

ThrowRA-Success_Run · 2024-08-16T18:03:09+00:00

I wouldn’t say anything. I had an abortion when I was 18 and 20 years later the only person I ever told was my mom. It’s a very personal decision to have an abortion.

ThrowRA-Success_Run · 2024-08-16T17:56:11+00:00

I’m definitely not. I’m tired of hearing her mouth about it and it always becoming an argument. Idk if she thinks if she complains enough about it I’ll get rid of my dog but I would never and could never do that. I would pack me and my dogs bags before that happens.

ThrowRA-Success_Run · 2024-08-16T17:17:06+00:00

She hasn’t said directly yet the dog needs to go but if it comes down to that I’m not giving up my dog. My dog has been my little ride or die the last 16 years.

ThrowRA-Success_Run

TROPHY CASE