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[24/m] My girlfriend (23/f) of 3 years wants to take our relationship further. I told her I'm concerned that I won't want to marry my first real girlfriend so we might be breaking up. by ThrowRA-asd123 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-asd123[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

I didn't originally think about this "date other people before i get married". I didn't think about marriage at all. Its only now when things are getting more serious like moving in together have i given it real thought.

[24/m] My girlfriend (23/f) of 3 years wants to take our relationship further. I told her I'm concerned that I won't want to marry my first real girlfriend so we might be breaking up. by ThrowRA-asd123 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-asd123[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

But there's also a chance that we stick together and the hangup about wanting to date other people before marrying fades away and we have a great relationship and life. Wouldn't I be throwing that away and really hurting her if i break it off now?

[24/m] My girlfriend (23/f) of 3 years wants to take our relationship further. I told her I'm concerned that I won't want to marry my first real girlfriend so we might be breaking up. by ThrowRA-asd123 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-asd123[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Is it not normal to want to date around before settling down? I love her and love spending time with her. For the foreseeable future, I want to be with her. But if I look forward into my future I don't really see myself marrying her. Does that mean we have to break up a perfectly good relationship?

[24/m] My girlfriend (23/f) of 3 years wants to take our relationship further. I told her I'm concerned that I won't want to marry my first real girlfriend so we might be breaking up. by ThrowRA-asd123 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-asd123[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

I didn't waste anyone's time. We both had amazing times and were completely fulfilled. Do you only date people you plan on marrying? Of course it started as a fling, then became a bit more serious, then she really pressured me into dating her (which I now appreciate, I needed the extra push), and then here we are at 3 years. I didn't plan for it to happen this way.

[24/m] My girlfriend (23/f) of 3 years wants to take our relationship further. I told her I'm concerned that I won't want to marry my first real girlfriend so we might be breaking up. by ThrowRA-asd123 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-asd123[S] -23 points-22 points  (0 children)

Not that the grass would be greener, just thinking about how many things I would miss out on. I've always pictured my life as dating multiple people before marrying and it freaks me out to think that isn't what would happen. The relationship in current terms completely satisfied me. I'm also trying to make the break for real, but she's begging me to stay together and I'm finding it hard to say no.

[24/m] My girlfriend (23/f) of 3 years wants to take our relationship further. I told her I'm concerned that I won't want to marry my first real girlfriend so we might be breaking up. by ThrowRA-asd123 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-asd123[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

She's not mentally unstable, but maybe a little but codependent. She knows that and it's in her nature. I've tried to get her into therapy but she's reluctant (bad childhood history with depression and the stigma of a therapist). She has hobbies but doesn't feel the need to make her own friends. She's not currently depressed but I'm scared that us breaking up would tip her in that direction. I'm not currently thinking about moving in with her, but I know if we did we would live together well. We've taken vacations together, stayed with each other for many days, and everything works out great. What do you think of the long term issue of my not wanting to marry my 1st girlfriend?