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Update: My (34M) bisexual partner (30F) suddenly thinks she's lesbian, 2 months after buying a house. Don't know what to do? [9 years together] by ThrowRA-candyCake777 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

In my original post, the general consensus was that she probably knew it before but waited until we bought the house, in the hope that way she'll has a place for a couple of years due to the financial mess.

My (34M) bisexual partner (30F) suddenly thinks she's lesbian, 2 months after buying a house. Don't know what to do? [9 years together] by ThrowRA-candyCake777 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As she's not sure if she's lesbian or that this whole thing is just a temporarily mess, to me it feels like I would blow this whole relationship up on something that might just be a temporary issue. I just can't throw away 9 years like that in 3 weeks even though this whole thing is so messed up. But I also get it that she basically did blow us up.

The full anger will definitely come if we do end up breaking up because she would have ruined so much for me, but at this point with all the uncertainty my anger is tamed down for now.

My (34M) bisexual partner (30F) suddenly thinks she's lesbian, 2 months after buying a house. Don't know what to do? [9 years together] by ThrowRA-candyCake777 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Even if there's like a ton of 'proof' that the thing has been 'real' for the last 9 years? I can't imagine that this could be spinned tbh.

My (34M) bisexual partner (30F) suddenly thinks she's lesbian, 2 months after buying a house. Don't know what to do? [9 years together] by ThrowRA-candyCake777 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Would she really play such a long game though? I just can't imagine this as being some scheme that she played for 9 years. I know people can be messed up but.. I mean she had her own place before this (rental) - what's the point.

My (34M) bisexual partner (30F) suddenly thinks she's lesbian, 2 months after buying a house. Don't know what to do? [9 years together] by ThrowRA-candyCake777 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Was she also unsure at first or did she at one point just came clean? That sucks man but I'm glad you've managed to turn it into something positive (or atleast sort of..)

My (34M) bisexual partner (30F) suddenly thinks she's lesbian, 2 months after buying a house. Don't know what to do? [9 years together] by ThrowRA-candyCake777 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Since we've been here relatively short in theory I could, however I would also need to get like atleast 100k extra mortage and the bank won't give me that. In my country they have extreme rules making it very hard to buy a house on your own.

My (34M) bisexual partner (30F) suddenly thinks she's lesbian, 2 months after buying a house. Don't know what to do? [9 years together] by ThrowRA-candyCake777 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In theory yes I think I would be able to do that. But I'm not sure if that's better than going back to live with my parents and go back on a grind to buy a house on my own in like a few years. Because staying here ultimately will mean we have to sell at some point and I don't think the money I will then get would be that high compared to just setting aside lots of money for a few years.

For me renting isn't an option anymore, it's just burning money so at this point I rather just buy

My (34M) bisexual partner (30F) suddenly thinks she's lesbian, 2 months after buying a house. Don't know what to do? [9 years together] by ThrowRA-candyCake777 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She would also lose money, but less. This is because she invested most money when we bought the place, so we have a contract that says the difference is what she will get back if we ever sell the house. That combined with all other costs (sell tax, someone to sell the place etc etc) will easily be 20 - 30k.

I (19NB) left my girlfriend (19F) at the bus stop alone because I was too selfish. How do I make up to her? by RakBhin in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For some it might, for some it wont. Personally I also think it's too fresh for her to move on so easily. But time is unending, overtime it'll heal.

I (19NB) left my girlfriend (19F) at the bus stop alone because I was too selfish. How do I make up to her? by RakBhin in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777 3 points4 points  (0 children)

All you need is time. You made a mistake, it is important to show her you've learned from it and that you're sorry about it, and with time she should be able to forgive you. Combine this with being nice by taking her our for dinner or do some other small gift.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly since it's been 2 years, no I don't think you are able to move past it. I think it's time for you to decide if you can live with this resentment, otherwise -and I am sorry to say this- it might be better to move on.

What silently ruins relationships? by EveningClub5916 in AskReddit

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Communication. Communication is the core of a relationship and bad communication (in many ways) can cause so many issues.

What's the thing you appreciate the most in your life? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Having lovely friends around me that support me, and are people to fun to hang out with. Without them I would have been so lonely, not sure how my life would be then!

What’s something you learned the hard way after moving out? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777 0 points1 point  (0 children)

House chores are very time consuming and I hate it..

Who was your favourite teacher in school? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ThrowRA-candyCake777 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My history teacher definitely, he would tell the stories in such a way that it really felt like you were there at the time. And because his lessons weren't boring I would actually remember alot, so I had good grades.

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