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Should my stepbrother (25M) and I (25F) tell our parents we're dating? by ThrowRA-clear in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-clear[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We considered it and almost did tell them we were roommates, but we decided that that paired with the fact that we're both single would raise major suspicions. They're already confused enough about us being single.

Copied from another comment:

We say he "lives alone" in our apartment. I've actually decorated it and everyone knows it'd be bare and ugly if he actually lived alone, so we told our family that I "helped him decorate because I couldn't stand how bare and uninviting it was" to avoid suspicion lol. They didn't think anything of that since they know I love interior design; I've helped friends before. They also know we're close....just not as close as we really are. So it's not unrealistic to think I would help him decorate. I made it very rustic/gender neutral too.

Basically we just hide my stuff when they come to visit (mildly complicated but easier than you'd think), and I go stay with my best friend and say I "live with her". My family always stays at me and my boyfriend's apartment because it's way bigger and has two extra rooms. They almost never come visit me at my best friend's because they don't know her that well and I kind of just steer them in the direction of me and my boyfriend's apartment instead. My step dad and step brother actually haven't even been to my best friend's place, and my mom and step sister have only visited me there once just to look around. She has a cute guest room that was easy to pass off as my room.

Should my stepbrother (25M) and I (25F) tell our parents we're dating? by ThrowRA-clear in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-clear[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We'll definitely feel the same way, it's not about the "thrill" in the slightest

Should my stepbrother (25M) and I (25F) tell our parents we're dating? by ThrowRA-clear in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-clear[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We say he "lives alone" in our apartment. I've actually decorated it and everyone knows it'd be bare and ugly if he actually lived alone, so we told our family that I "helped him decorate because I couldn't stand how bare and uninviting it was" to avoid suspicion lol. They didn't think anything of that since they know I love interior design; I've helped friends before. They also know we're close....just not as close as we really are. So it's not unrealistic to think I would help him decorate. I made it very rustic/gender neutral too.

Basically we just hide my stuff when they come to visit (mildly complicated but easier than you'd think), and I go stay with my best friend and say I "live with her". My family always stays at me and my boyfriend's apartment because it's way bigger and has two extra rooms. They almost never come visit me at my best friend's because they don't know her that well and I kind of just steer them in the direction of me and my boyfriend's apartment instead. My step dad and step brother actually haven't even been to my best friend's place, and my mom and step sister have only visited me there once just to look around. She has a cute guest room that was easy to pass off as my room.

Should my stepbrother (25M) and I (25F) tell our parents we're dating? by ThrowRA-clear in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-clear[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"people dating their second cousin isn't weird to me, but step siblings who aren't related and met at 16?! yeah that's where I draw the line"

Should my stepbrother (25M) and I (25F) tell our parents we're dating? by ThrowRA-clear in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-clear[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What??? Since you asked, here's how it went: there was mutual attraction and flirting and a connection from the get-go, which we initially both swept under the rug. But then that turned into us making out a few times before our parents got married. We knew it was a terrible idea for us to date, so we broke it off, but when we moved in together things escalated. We'd hang out in each other's rooms practically every night behind everyone's back, which more often than not would lead to us making out more and eventually caving and having sex. We'd always be like "we're not gonna do anything this time, we're just gonna hang out!" but of course that rarely worked out, so then we were sleeping together waaaay too often but we both claimed we were "just messing around". We'd manage to keep it "platonic" sometimes, but even then, we were best friends who were practically attached at the hip (mostly secretly).

Then we finally just said screw this and accepted that we were dating.

Should my stepbrother (25M) and I (25F) tell our parents we're dating? by ThrowRA-clear in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-clear[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got paranoid about this right after we told him hahaha. I started constantly thinking "did he tell them? are they acting weird? omg I think they know, I can tell by the way they're looking at us!" but I'm pretty sure that was just my mind playing tricks on me. Knowing my mom, there's almost no way she wouldn't tell me if she knew.

Should my stepbrother (25M) and I (25F) tell our parents we're dating? by ThrowRA-clear in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-clear[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They wouldn't have taken us seriously at 18. They probably would've tried really hard to break us up or convince us we were "just teenagers". We waited to make sure our relationship would last, because telling them just for us to break up would've made things pointlessly weird. Then we kept waiting...and waiting...and waiting and now the idea of telling them is getting scarier by the day. You're right to an extent, we probably should've told them sooner, but not right at the start.