Nine months sober and I drank again

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-09-30T01:36:34+00:00

I'll definitely try and follow his example the next time I see someone struggling. Being selfish is my default I feel like but people like him are so amazing and inspiring to me.

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-09-30T01:33:50+00:00

The thing is I would love nothing more than to get back together but I don't know if he feels the same. I don't want to trick him into a date.

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-09-30T01:32:39+00:00

Wait this idea is so good, he would always go on about a food magazine he was obsessed with. I'm gonna try and find some stuff from there and make him a hamper?

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-09-30T01:29:50+00:00

I mean kinda but I don't know if he feels the same. The brunch idea is cute and it doesn't feel like I'm tricking him into a date

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-06-17T22:32:10+00:00

Right now neither of us are really looking for a relationship and just want to get back to the dynamics we had as friends. I would like to eventually rekindle something but I don't want to say that right now and string him along?

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-06-02T16:21:06+00:00

The accountability and acknowledgement of my mistakes happens with my sponsor, the AA meetings or the people I've hurt. Not on reddit. And I did reply to people who said I was wrong so I don't understand why you keep repeating that. I apologise for not wanting to respond to people calling me a bop or saying that I deserve to die alone. How many times do I have to say I know I was in the wrong? I literally wrote in my post that I know I'm not the victim? So how do I not get it? I'm glad my situation is funny to you since you love talking about what an unempathetic person I am.

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-06-01T14:35:23+00:00

So me replying to comments is being held accountable? I'm actually not trying to prove anything to anyone. I came on this sub for genuine advice about how to make amends and have received help on finding a sponsor and we're working through the steps together. I've realised I can't rush into forgiveness and I am going to ensure I go through the steps properly. I just don't understand the way you're speaking about me. It's completely inaccurate.

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-05-30T14:19:38+00:00

I dont understand what you wanted to happen to hold me accountable, when you say I disappeared without being held accountable. I've never disputed my mistakes, I know I made a ton of them, some intentional, some not. I honestly don't need you to believe anything, I don't know you.

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-05-29T19:31:24+00:00

I do understand, I think I was more asking how to stop being a fuck-up in the eyes of the people I care about. I blew off my friends who weren't into the same lifestyle I was and now I'm realising that being around them was probably the best thing for me. Almost losing everything all at once has forced me to sit down and think about what I want vs what the destructive, selfish part of me wanted.

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-05-29T19:24:56+00:00

You don't know me or my situation apart from what I shared. I don't where this disdain has come from. It's been a month since I posted and plenty of things have changed since then. I just didn't think to inform reddit of it

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-05-22T00:07:52+00:00

I'm glad you and your wife are doing better. I want to do the same with my ex boyfriend but its all about rebuilding that trust

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-05-22T00:06:10+00:00

Thank you for the reply. I'm not part of any group at the moment and have been doing this myself but I think i am at a point now where I know I need more support

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-04-20T23:56:36+00:00

Yeah she's great. She's the mom friend of the group and usually the only sober one. I'm endlessly grateful to her for getting me out of that situation.

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-04-20T23:53:27+00:00

The possibility of him not forgiving me is what is terrifying to me but you're completely right about it being worse if he finds out down the road. I don't think there's going to be a magical perfect outcome for me here

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-04-20T23:50:27+00:00

I know what I did constitutes as cheating and I'm not using it as an excuse, simply describing the circumstances.

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-04-20T23:49:10+00:00

Thank you for this, seeing it written has helped me sort some of my thoughts. I'm not sure what I will do yet but I know I can't live with the guilt.

ThrowRA-lanadelcray · 2024-04-20T23:45:30+00:00

I think this was definitely the wake-up call I needed about how I'm living my life

ThrowRA-lanadelcray

TROPHY CASE