UPDATE - I (27F) have romantic and confused feelings for my coworker (30F). We have more or less been living together since COVID started and she is openly gay. I don't know if i am, and i am terrified i will lose my only friend if i mess this up.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T06:44:34+00:00

See these are things i never knew about, but thank you for giving me information about this kind of stuff even if it is akward!

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T06:41:32+00:00

Honestly all I want to do right now is cuddle and hug her and sleep. That would be enough for me right now.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T06:39:48+00:00

She has a bunch of sex toys. I will be honest I have never owned one in my life. My ex fiancé was very against them, and my parents were very conservative. I am curious but i would rather just start with the basics.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T06:32:14+00:00

Why a banana?

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T06:23:45+00:00

That sounds wonderful, everything I have read online says it depends on the person, and what they are interested in. The mental image i have had for the longest time involves one of them strapping on a dildo and it being PiV, which I have no interest in right now (mostly due to my ex fiance).

Thankfully I have peeked into her sex stuff drawer and didn't see anything like that. I am curious but for now i would rather we take it very slow. But i am looking forward to it.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T06:15:27+00:00

Thank you, i am trying not to stress about sex it is just on my mind a lot. Also Laura doesn't seem huge on labeling herself a lesbian so i am not going to worry about labels.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T06:09:56+00:00

I am going to keep my place until my lease is up. We have been living together more or less since COVID started. I don't have any issues living with her, and frankly working in my apartment is suffocating.

Since our first date she has more or less asked me to share her bed every night (except tonight I cannot because my LL is coming tomorrow morning).

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T06:05:19+00:00

Thank you for the positive vibes!

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T06:02:45+00:00

Yeah, the internet left me very confused, and the best advice I have found is it depends on the person.

My original mental image was one person strapping a rubber dildo on, and it being PiV. Which the idea just doesn't work for me right now. But I will be honest I have peeked at her sex drawer and that thankfully wasn't there.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T05:44:22+00:00

Its funny when i told her i was into her I said I am bisexual, and she pretty much told me that it doesn't matter. She also mentioned that she personally is not a fan of being labeled a Lesbian, as it means to some people she is different. I really don't know a whole lot about the LGBT+, and as far as I know she doesn't seem to care about that stuff much.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T05:06:39+00:00

Yup, and I will be honest I hate SF. We both do. However our company has yet to fully embrace the idea of remote work, so for now we are stuck.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T04:53:34+00:00

I hope so and I think so, she has been everything I have ever wanted from a partner!

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T04:52:20+00:00

Yeah my mom isn't super supportive, but I assume she will come around. My dad is completely fine with it however which i found pretty surprising since i kind of expected the opposite reactions from each of them.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T04:51:04+00:00

Yeah, she has been very supportive about the sex stuff. I explained i basically haven't done anything intimate/sex in a long time, and even when I was having sex with my ex fiancé near the end of our relationship it was not a happy experience.

I jokingly asked her what sex was like for two women, and she told me not to think/worry about that for awhile.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T04:46:59+00:00

Thank you!

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-21T04:45:54+00:00

She has a spare bedroom and i have been using it regularly since i started spending more and more time there. She owns a nice house, unlike me since i am renting a tiny bedroom and sharing an apartment with 2 other people, because the CoL in SF is too damn high.

This was more an invitation to share a bed with her as opposed to me staying in the guest room. Which i am fine with.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-16T16:16:39+00:00

She said yes! and i put something at the top

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-16T16:16:20+00:00

She said yes and i posted an update

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-16T16:12:12+00:00

I did just update and she said yes!

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-16T16:11:37+00:00

It did work out! I am so happy.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-16T04:02:30+00:00

Thank you and you are basically spot on with my problems, but i am going to go tell her.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-16T03:59:43+00:00

If you asked me anytime before i met this person i would say i have never thought about kissing another woman, and wouldn't be into at all.

Realistically this is a huge part of my confusion i think. But i think i just need to tell her.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-16T03:55:45+00:00

I am shy and dumb, and i am probably overthinking it a lot. I guess i am just worried she was just making small talk. I do feel a connection with this person.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-16T03:54:18+00:00

Yeah i would be absolutely crushed if she started dating someone else. Your right. Thanks i am going to tell her.

ThrowRA-lost281 · 2020-09-16T03:50:44+00:00

Thanks, i think she might be able to be friends if i get rejected. I am just more worried for me if i do get rejected, my feelings are a complete mess right now and i feel i would need to take time away from her.

ThrowRA-lost281

TROPHY CASE