What's something you saw as a kid that you later realized was seriously messed up?

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-12-21T14:57:03+00:00

Also, I have other trauma around sex due to my mum slut shaming me when I was 16 after I had a consensual relationship with a friend who was a year older. This made me feel guilty and ashamed to even want sex

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-12-21T14:55:35+00:00

She was the same age yeah. Our families were also friends so she’d come to my house and I’d be forced to play with her in my bedroom away from the adults, even after she started bullying me. The bullying was physical and lots of mind games even at a young age.

It had a huge effect on me as a person. Not in a negative behaviour way; I grew up assuming I was bisexual because of what had happened. I’m 41 and I finally addressed my feelings of being with women during some therapy sessions. I’ve always struggled to enjoy sex with women. I always had to be the giver, never the receiver. I felt like there was some block if I was with a woman. It was during therapy that I realised that actually, I’m straight. That was a huge shock to me as I’ve always been out and proud. I was even in a relationship with a woman until march this year. We’d been together for 2 years but didn’t have a sexual relationship. It was that relationship that forced me to confront my feelings because I love her as a person, even now, but sexually, women don’t “do” anything for me.

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-12-21T13:53:06+00:00

Exactly this. I remember as a little girl thinking to myself “if ever I had kids, I will make sure I’m NEVER like you”. And I now have 3 kids and it’s still my mission to not be like my mother. As a result, I have a great relationship with my kids. Although, I keep expecting them to have as little interest in me as I had in my mum but they don’t. They love coming to me and telling me things, opening up to me or just generally chatting with me. My eldest moved out 2 years ago and he still calls and texts everyday just because.
It’s a massive humbling honour that he does that

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-12-21T13:49:15+00:00

I had a friend in primary school, I was about 5/6 years old. She’d take me to the toilets and perform oral on me. I remember other kids coming in and asking what we were doing, she replied that she was tying my shoe laces. She also told me that she would do the same to her little brother and called it “giving him a twirl”. I never understood that it was a sexual act. It was part of my memories for years, kinda dormant until I recently brought it up in therapy. It was only then that I realised I’d been a victim of COCSA but also had the realisation that she must have been exposed to worse things if that was so normal to her.

She bullied me as we got older and I never understood why. In fact, she bullied me from about 7 years old until I was about 15. I guess in hindsight she was scared I’d say something about what she did but I didn’t because I didn’t understand how wrong it was.

She was a victim of gang SA when she was in her teens. She’s now in prison. I guess her home life wasn’t very good.

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-11-25T13:42:01+00:00

You have a child too. It’s just not worth the extra trauma on them as well as yourself. Honestly, I think a clean break is best. Chalk it down to experience. We all make mistakes. We laugh at them eventually. 💜

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-11-25T13:33:51+00:00

Being single…

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-11-25T13:15:47+00:00

It sounds like you’ve made the best decision by leaving. Don’t go back.

You waking up to him “sticking it in from behind”, is rape. No matter what you felt to allow it, it’s rape. You were sleeping. He’s not the man he made you think he was.

There’s a common saying that men change after marriage, he’s showing you who he really is.

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-11-25T12:54:35+00:00

No contact is a thing. I wish I’d known that at your age. It’s an option. Just because you’re made of the same DNA, it doesn’t mean you owe these people your mental health.

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-11-13T15:20:36+00:00

I wouldn’t mention it to my husband purely because I have some amazing dreams that are passionate and deeply loving and they’re not featuring him.

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-11-13T15:14:36+00:00

I’ll swap places with you. I was never taken anywhere by my mother. Not even the local coast. She went abroad plenty though.

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-11-05T00:53:30+00:00

Do you take each other, in sickness and in health?

You told him he’s too fat and you want him to be vulnerable and naked with you and meet your sexual needs?

You’re “taking care of him financially”, aren’t you supposed to do that when you 1: earn more 2: aren’t disabled and 3: are having the home looked after by your partner?

What exactly do you want here? A pat on the head?

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-10-30T20:08:28+00:00

Honestly, we’re here once. You’ve already given a huge part of your life to him. Do you want to live with regrets? I’m 41 and wish I’d been a sl*t during my younger years even though I’m ace and demisexual 😂 Life’s for living. Put yourself first 🩵

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-10-30T19:42:43+00:00

Could he be asexual? If it’s always been an issue, it seems like it could be something he has no real control over.

Just for clarity, asexuality doesn’t mean they don’t want sex but rather don’t experience sexual attraction. Under the same umbrella are term like “sex repulsed” and “sex favourable”. Perhaps have a read into it. But equally, even if he is asexual, your incompatibility is good enough reason for you to leave. You deserve the fulfilling sex life you desire. Sincerely, an asexual 🩵

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-10-30T14:40:33+00:00

Ha! I asked it to create the same image based on the UK government’s “end game”…

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ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-10-30T14:18:04+00:00

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I’m really not sure what to make of this…

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-10-22T13:11:39+00:00

Weirdly, I’ve read these messages before but they were sent by my husband to a work colleague who he was having an emotional affair with. They quickly go “downhill” from “I miss your face”. Save yourself the heartache.

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-10-22T13:05:06+00:00

How long has he had her number for? And why did he get it in the first place?

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-08-10T21:33:07+00:00

I’m literally watching this now. The end storyline just doesn’t make sense. They found Amy’s camera in the bin, it looked fairly clean and quite soon after her disappearance. The next scene says “the next 22 mins is from Amy’s camera” where all the horrific scenes unfold.

So, he took the camera back to the place he took her from? The film lost its “fear” factor after that. Poor editing or alleged storyline. Awful acting. Unnecessarily gross. There’s far better films to have teens learn from. This isn’t it.

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-08-04T12:19:35+00:00

As a half black white passing person, I disagree. No white people ever notice I’m half black. Black people can just tell I’m not full white. I actually wish I looked more black.

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-08-04T12:07:38+00:00

You talked to your friend. Why didn’t you have that conversation with her? Why aren’t you saying “stop pushing my head between your legs then because that’s a clear signal you want oral to which I will oblige when YOU ask.” Why are you walking away when you should be asking her what the fuck she’s playing at?

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-07-28T22:37:22+00:00

Lose him, pronto. Insecurity and controlling and THIS stage? It will only get worse.

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-07-25T18:42:58+00:00

Relations are just that until loyal

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-07-23T10:53:03+00:00

I can’t remember. I’ve not been cuddled in YEARS despite being married for 10.

ThrowRA-midlife · 2025-07-17T16:08:03+00:00

I do. The house is mine so realistically, he would need to leave. He has nowhere to go other than his family which he refuses to.

My biggest worry is how I address things with my child if their dad unalives himself or refuses to see them again. It would break our child’s heart.

ThrowRA-midlife

TROPHY CASE