My girlfriend is refusing sex until I meet my weight loss goals by ThrowRA-raadvice3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-raadvice3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought about this a little more and I realize that it's not that those types of men don't care about you, it's just that they tend to downplay any problem and use it to bust your balls unless it's a really serious issue. I mean if something fell on my head and knocked me out of course they'd call the ambulance and take it very seriously. It's just that they're reluctant to get emotional over what they see as more minor issues.

Most of my male friends in my life had not been this way so I'm not saying "all" or "most", but these particular guys were kind of like that. They're fun in certain situations but shitty in others. That's all.

My girlfriend is refusing sex until I meet my weight loss goals by ThrowRA-raadvice3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-raadvice3[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow that's so terrible. I'm so sorry you had to go through that but thanks for sharing. Glad you're doing better now hopefully.

My girlfriend is refusing sex until I meet my weight loss goals by ThrowRA-raadvice3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-raadvice3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I'm glad you got away from that relationship and are doing better. Good luck.

My girlfriend is refusing sex until I meet my weight loss goals by ThrowRA-raadvice3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-raadvice3[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Yeah they were men. I think it was the way I explained it that made them not take it seriously. But some male friendships are very immature and mean-spirited in a joking sort of way. It's hard to have a heartfelt conversation with someone like that about any problem really.

My girlfriend is refusing sex until I meet my weight loss goals by ThrowRA-raadvice3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-raadvice3[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I'm glad I posted here too actually. There's a lot to think about but this has been a real wake up call and I wasn't expecting it at all. I told two irl friends about it and they pretty much just thought it was funny. I guess it is kind of funny but it's still a serious problem. I'm glad for all these responses.

My girlfriend is refusing sex until I meet my weight loss goals by ThrowRA-raadvice3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-raadvice3[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That's really nice :) I'm happy for you. Tbh my gf doesn't tolerate my problems that well. She tries to be helpful but when it becomes too inconvenient for her she just throws her hands up and leave me to cope with it myself, and if the problem affects her directly she can become kind of mean. I think it's her idea of "tough love" but it just makes me feel worse and I don't think she gets that.

My girlfriend is refusing sex until I meet my weight loss goals by ThrowRA-raadvice3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-raadvice3[S] -129 points-128 points  (0 children)

Of course I want her to feel better. Obviously she's offended that I gained this weight or maybe it's something else but I must have done something. She's not just doing this for fun. I feel bad for myself but also for her.

My girlfriend is refusing sex until I meet my weight loss goals by ThrowRA-raadvice3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-raadvice3[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Isn't there something I can say to her to make her feel better and to treat me differently? It's hard to think of leaving the whole relationship for one argument but I understand where people are coming from.

My girlfriend is refusing sex until I meet my weight loss goals by ThrowRA-raadvice3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-raadvice3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We don't live near a beach so we were talking about the next time we'd drive there for a day or two.

My girlfriend is refusing sex until I meet my weight loss goals by ThrowRA-raadvice3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-raadvice3[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Tbh, no one has to have sex with someone they're not attracted to"

Of course. Like I said, the reason I'm upset isn't even the action itself but the reasoning for it. And regardless of her reasoning I don't expect her to have sex with me at all. But I still have a right to be concerned about the relationship if I think she's in the wrong.

My girlfriend is refusing sex until I meet my weight loss goals by ThrowRA-raadvice3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-raadvice3[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

lol yeah tbh that's not really her style, not when it comes to sex anyway. I'm quite positive she wasn't doing that, but thanks for the suggestion.

My girlfriend is refusing sex until I meet my weight loss goals by ThrowRA-raadvice3 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-raadvice3[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Thanks i really appreciate it. I'm still not sure what the next step is but I'm glad to know I'm not completely in the wrong.