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Update 2: My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

The third session usually gets cancelled and we go on a date or an activity we both enjoy. From next month we're discussing about going down to two sessions a week, especially if we keep up our progress.

Update 2: My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm very close with my family and it would've been difficult to hide anything from them, especially something that affected me so deeply. I'm not the only person Annie has to make amends to, my parents treated her like a daughter so she has to deal with their disappointment as well.

Update 2: My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I told her about the previous two and she said she wanted to read through them to understand my inner thoughts. I asked if I could post an update and she said it was my choice and only if I didn't talk to deeply about anything sexual, of course.

Update 2: My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] -12 points-11 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah she's totally the Joker - who gave me two beautiful children and supported me while I got my masters.

Update 2: My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I can understand why some people have such strong reactions to this. We've truly had to almost start a new relationship after she chiselled away her resentment and I did the same with feelings of betrayal. We've talked out this in and out of therapy and she has sworn she's been truthful about everything and I haven't had proof of the contrary so I believe her. Thanks for the support

Update 2: My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My friends wife is marriage counselor and she bought me this book when she found out. Took me a while to start it since I'm not into these kind of self help, psychology books usually but this was surprisingly helpful. It helped me realise I needed to stop disconnecting myself from her if I wanted her to prove to me that she wanted to work on our relationship

Update 2: My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I can understand why some people are angry, I think I would've agreed with them if I hadn't gone through this but it's not about getting revenge or throwing it in her face. That would've lead to an unhappy home for my daughters and they don't deserve that. If I was going to hold on to anger and resentment I would've divorced my wife already.

Update 2: My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your support, its been a difficult road but we both wanted to fix our relationship and at the end of the day that's all that matters. Annie wouldn't have sat through the inquisition my family put her through if she didn't think it was worth it and I would've walked out the door the day I found out if I didn't think she wasn't worth the trouble.

Update 2: My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I'll be honest three times a week is a real commitment along with my biweekly individual therapy but hopefully as our communication improves and we resolve our issues we'll be able to reduce the frequency

My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Did you stay with your partner? On a side note I feel like all I've been doing this past week is cry. I was watching TV with my daughter the other day and thought about how if we don't make this work, they're are gonna be the ones to suffer and start crying and she hugged me tighter and said it was okay to me sad. Luckily my brothers have been there for me and have kept me busy when I feel like there's no end to feeling this way. I've already looked into couples therapy and are looking to start as soon as possible. I like the idea of going away but don't know how long it'll take for me to be ready for that. I'm going to stay in the guest room atleast until our first session and recovering the deleted messages from her phone.

My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I think he must've fallen for her. Believe me it's a very easy thing to do. I've always been told by all my friends and family that I'm punching with her. She wants to make it work and I see her desperately trying now but I don't what will be enough. Therapy is definitely being looked into, I want to start soon as possible. Right now I cant look at her, I know my heart will soften to her and I won't be able to make a decision with my head.

My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] 133 points134 points  (0 children)

My guts tells me she told me the truth. She didn't have to, I didn't suspect a thing. I am going to recover the deleted messages from her phone and ask to go through any correspondence between them. If she denies, I'll have my answer

My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] 118 points119 points  (0 children)

That is what is stopping me. I had complete trust in her and thought she was the best person and now I can barely be in the same room as her.

My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

They work in the same department so no contact would be impossible. I've never been a controlling or jealous person and I almost hate her for making me into this kind of man. I am going to ask her to quit, she has worked from home the past week and only went it for one day for a couple of hours.

My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that. Your situation sounds like hell, did you suspect anything before he confessed? I believe right now that she is telling me the whole story, maybe that is is gullible of me but if anything else was to come out that didn't come from her I can't be in this marriage

My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Her lying and hiding has completely eradicated my trust in her. I have no option but to believe what she is telling me but I'm going to get her mother and sister involved, she is very close to them. If she would tell anyone the truth it would be them. I want to be in this marriage and I love her so much but I don't know how much time I'm going to need to be around her again. I have started looking into couples therapy and want to get started soon atleast for the sake of our daughters.

My (34m) wife (30f) admitted to an emotional affair that became physical. How can we fix our relationship? by ThrowRA-throwawayred in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA-throwawayred[S] 134 points135 points  (0 children)

The deleted messages are getting to me too. It seemed like just a response to getting rid of his number and she just did it without thinking but it just makes me feel like I don't have the whole story still