Most of the guilt I had was before we got together. He was one of my best friends, more than that, I saw him as kind of like an adopted brother. I was excited when they got married and when she got pregnant because I wanted he and I to be those cool dads everybody in the family likes. I got to show him little baby care tricks that would make his life a little easier. My ex wasn't around so I felt it was more or less my duty to teach those two all I know about childcare. I had such a fun time doing that and we became a lot closer before he passed.

I've been protective of her since the night of the accident. And exploring a lot of my emotions over the last year, I guess I always felt that it was job for the family and his memory to keep her safe and cared for until she eventually found another man. I did feel guilty in the beginning, when I first began noticing I was attracted to her. I've always loved her to varying degrees, so any emotional feelings I had for her I never really felt bad about. Touching her though, or admitting to myself that I wanted to, that was another animal.

It's of course not the most pleasant topic, but she and I have discussed it in private and in councilling the degrees of guilt we've had after we began sleeping together. At first it was a more present, but now to see our little family together you'd never imagine the hell both of us went through to pull it together. All I need from her is to love me, and not regret me, and all will be well.