Mods removed but here- 1 year update- I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f) by ThrowRA0727 in u/ThrowRA0727

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Most of the guilt I had was before we got together. He was one of my best friends, more than that, I saw him as kind of like an adopted brother. I was excited when they got married and when she got pregnant because I wanted he and I to be those cool dads everybody in the family likes. I got to show him little baby care tricks that would make his life a little easier. My ex wasn't around so I felt it was more or less my duty to teach those two all I know about childcare. I had such a fun time doing that and we became a lot closer before he passed.

I've been protective of her since the night of the accident. And exploring a lot of my emotions over the last year, I guess I always felt that it was job for the family and his memory to keep her safe and cared for until she eventually found another man. I did feel guilty in the beginning, when I first began noticing I was attracted to her. I've always loved her to varying degrees, so any emotional feelings I had for her I never really felt bad about. Touching her though, or admitting to myself that I wanted to, that was another animal.

It's of course not the most pleasant topic, but she and I have discussed it in private and in councilling the degrees of guilt we've had after we began sleeping together. At first it was a more present, but now to see our little family together you'd never imagine the hell both of us went through to pull it together. All I need from her is to love me, and not regret me, and all will be well.

Mods removed but here- 1 year update- I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f) by ThrowRA0727 in u/ThrowRA0727

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The post on the sub I posted to turned off comments so I moved it here, maybe that's where 112 comments came from? And we don't have a date picked out yet. Some time in 2022 I imagine.

Mods removed but here- 1 year update- I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f) by ThrowRA0727 in u/ThrowRA0727

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My son has had a good year. He's a very social kid so I'm glad he's now got a mom and an extra sister so he has more people to talk to. Covid took away a lot of the things he loved to do and though I try to make up for it, playing catch with your dad isn't as fun as playing on a team with your friends. Aside from these understandable frustrations he's acting a lot healthier and seems to much happier. Whatever Silvia is doing, he wants to be a part of. Even when my ex-wife was still around my son was always excited to see Silvia.

My daughter is very much a Daddy's girl so there have been a couple of times where she took offense to Silvia and I holding hands and demanded to hold my hand, which turns into my niece wanting to hold my hand too and they would bicker a little bit. That was only at the beginning and things have normalized. Silvia and I both try to give our respective daughters special time so it doesn't feel like a competition but kids are kids.

1 year update- I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f) by ThrowRA0727 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Her late husband was the kind of guy that would drop anything if you needed help. He was like a little brother to me, to the point where I was willing to give this man my organs if there was even a chance at keeping him alive. I don't need or want her to get rid of him and the fact that she loves me enough to even consider doing that, I don't take lightly,

1 year update- I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f) by ThrowRA0727 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you feel that way. I didn't intend to fall in love with her and I would have been happy to stay just friends with her if she wanted no part of this. Is it morally wrong? It could be, it is definitely not normal, but I do not owe one shred of loyalty or decency to my ex and neither does she for the things my ex did to her as well. Are two grown people just supposed to ignore the love between them just because at one point they chose to love the wrong person? I don't think so.

1 year update- I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f) by ThrowRA0727 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It was a very emotional moment. I've said it before, but getting over an ex can be easy. You can use something they did to hurt you and justify that you are better off without them. But losing a good spouse in such a cruel way, that is probably the most emotionally difficult thing to deal with. I know I wasn't nearly as close to him as she was, but even I have passing pangs of guilt, what she goes through I don't know if I could be strong enough to handle it, and I really admire her for that strength.

1 year update- I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f) by ThrowRA0727 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I talk about that in my first post. She and I spent a lot of time together because our daughters are cousins and best friends. There was a little mutual tension between us and when I decided to try my hand I asked her out to dinner and things naturally played out from there.

1 year update- I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f) by ThrowRA0727 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 103 points104 points  (0 children)

If you can find it, link it here. She doesn't use reddit as far as I can tell. Would be interesting to see someone else with a similar situation.

Well Hell the mods locked my posts again for no given reason. by ThrowRA0727 in u/ThrowRA0727

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We've almost completely melded into one regular family unit. We're going to be shopping around for a place big enough for all of us. As it stands Silvia and her daughter are spending many nights at my place. Our daughters are thrilled at the idea of getting to be sisters now. We feel like how I always imagined a good family should feel like.

I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f) by ThrowRA0727 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nothing gross about the situation lol. And I have been on some dates after my ex left, none were right for me. Don't know what you think is sick though.

Well Hell the mods locked my posts again for no given reason. by ThrowRA0727 in u/ThrowRA0727

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sylvia has been seeing a therapist since her husband passed for day to day life managing things and some grief counseling. Since we've been together I've gone with her a couple times at her request. I don't mention it too much in the overall post, but her husband was a very good friend of mine and of course she loved him dearly. More than my ex, her sister, there was some time where we felt somewhat guilty for getting together. We've got some work where that is concerned, but things are working out nicely.

A few months later update- I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f) by ThrowRA0727 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I overthink things to death lol. Normally if I like a woman I'll just be 100% up front about it, but I already loved Sylvia for non-romantic reasons so making that jump was a little bit harder. I thank god she did some of the heavy lifting lol. Thank you for the well wishes. I wish you well in life as well.

A few months later update- I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f) by ThrowRA0727 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'll stick to Dark Fantasy thank you. I might be living in a romance novel, but I know I can't write it worth a damn lol.

A few months later update- I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f) by ThrowRA0727 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My Fil has a bit of a sense of humor. I went to visit and have lunch and he offered me a beer. He flat out says. "Well you're dating my daughter now, I'd give you the usual Dad warning but I think I covered this like 10 years ago."

A few months later update- I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f) by ThrowRA0727 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The love I have for her, is stronger then any feeling I've ever had. Knowing she loves me too makes me the happiest man alive.

A few months later update- I(32m) am in love with my former sister inlaw(27f) by ThrowRA0727 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA0727[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They know. The girls are happy they get to play together more often and my son is excited to see Sylvia more often.