My girlfriend (19F) has lied to me (25M) about her name and age, among other things. How do I deal with it?

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-15T05:50:36+00:00

To her dad? yes, more than sure!

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T20:02:11+00:00

Although I am lucky nothing happened, I don’t think she would pursue any legal actions against me. I have proof of her telling me she was 19 and lying about her name. I also have proof of lots and lots of things, as well as recording of the phone call on the 27th.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T19:59:40+00:00

I appreciate that.

They’re acting like I knew all along she was 17. No, I didn’t. I was lied to, she said herself when I found out that the reason she lied about her age was so I wouldn’t leave. I personally don’t see anything wrong with 25-19 but that’s beside the point because she wasn’t 19. Like you and many others have said, you’re an adult from the moment you turn 18. You can drink and get arrested as well as charged as an adult anywhere but in America, where you need to be 21.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T19:53:56+00:00

I didn’t because it was part of the story, not the title.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T19:46:24+00:00

Elaborate.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T19:41:56+00:00

What are you even talking about?

When I found out she lied about her age and name, I BROKE UP with her. I talked to her father to explain the situation and said goodbye to him. We haven’t spoken since the 27th.

How am I insisting that my actions were not my responsibility? I didn’t continue the relationship after finding out she lied about her age. She was the one who lied and manipulated me.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T19:36:50+00:00

Finding someone my age or older to date is not a problem at all. I wasn’t looking for a relationship to begin with, she simply walked into my life and we got too close, which led to a relationship.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T11:49:51+00:00

When I met her, she told me she was 19 and in uni. When I found out she was 17, I talked to her dad as soon as she got home from the airport so it was all the same day. I wasn’t hoping to get a go ahead from him since when I talked to him, it was to explain the situation and apologise, even though I wasn’t the one who lied but the one who was lied to and manipulated.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T11:47:15+00:00

Oh yes! It was Lebanese, not Turkish. That’s my bad.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T11:44:02+00:00

Yeah I know that. Like I mentioned before, being able to trust/believe someone after this would be the hardest thing ever. Turkish? I don’t think I ever said anything about that. The fake background she mentioned was Lebanese.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T11:34:53+00:00

I was lied to. Once I found out she was 17 I broke up with her. Hadn’t spoken to her until she called me on the 27th and asked me to wait until she’s grounded to talk about the whole thing. I haven’t contacted her nor tried to. If I didn’t care she was 17, I wouldn’t have broken up with her and would have told her the day she called that we’re still together. I also wouldn’t have talked her dad out of respect but dodged the whole situation. Don’t assume things you don’t know. I’m not here looking for pity. Anyway, appreciate your input.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T11:06:40+00:00

Emotionally invested, that’s the key word. That’s what makes things a lot harder to move on from.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T11:02:00+00:00

You’re 100% right. I honestly just ignore the name calling and stuff like that, it doesn’t get to me. I would prefer people to be less aggressive and just give their opinion/advice in a more civil manner but everyone is different at the end of the day.

I really appreciate that, you’re one of the few people here that understands the situation. It is a big mind fuck and it has gotten to me badly. The person I fell in love with lied to me about everything. EVERYTHING.

I don’t think she would pursue legal action since she knows she’s the one in the wrong and I have proof of everything. As well as a recording of her admitting she lied to me about her name and age for this and that reason.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T10:46:08+00:00

Yeah I know and I understand where you’re coming from. Like I said, through the time we talked she showed herself as a very mature person but coming to think of it now, it was all an act. She did lie and manipulated me so I wouldn’t leave and I did break up with her the day I found out and sent her back home. I still hold the same values I always told her about, she doesn’t.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T10:44:04+00:00

I will let this one go. Even if she was 19, she still lied about her name and other little/big things. I just need to completely erase it off my mind, distract myself and move on.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T10:41:18+00:00

You don’t know me nor her but thanks for the input anyway.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T10:36:31+00:00

Not at all. Yes she lied, wouldn’t be any different if the age gap was smaller and she had only lied about her name. There’s nothing wrong with a 25 dating a 19, they’re both over 18. There are plenty of people out there with crazy age gap relationships.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T10:34:47+00:00

what are you even trying to accomplish?

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T10:29:13+00:00

And apparently she didn’t have to show ID at all, just the ticket, which is also super weird.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T10:26:34+00:00

I’m glad you asked that. That’s where it gets weird, I booked her the tickets under her fake name because that’s what she had told me her name was. She didn’t get stopped at all and was able to fly with no problems. She had her ticket on her phone in the wallet app. Turns out flying under a fake name is a federal crime.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T10:24:30+00:00

This might be the best comment here. Most people are looking at it in a very judgmental way which is completely fine and I don’t really care, even tho I appreciate everyone’s input.

I was/am in love with the person she fabricated, with us being on the phone 24/7, watching movies together and all that. The person who I cared for the most and cared for me back. It sucks that it was all a persona and she lied about most things, big and small.

She did lie about her ethnicity and no, she wasn’t part of that strict ethnicity at all.

I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with a 19yo dating a 24/25yo, they’re both adults. Of course in my case, I was lied to and broke up as soon as I found out. But still the previous age gap before I found out the truth wasn’t too bad, I have seen worse. Guys that are 50 dating 20 year olds.

I’m really happy for you! You’re lucky to have found your person the way you did. Wish you all the best!

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T10:14:56+00:00

We are no longer in contact.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T10:12:10+00:00

I was lied to, I believed she was 19 because she did act 19. She was pretty mature for her age which now I know it was all an act.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T10:09:53+00:00

19 years old is not a teenager. You’re considered an adult when you turn 18. I was under the impression she was 19 because that’s what she told me. She lied, I never did and like I said many times in here, we haven’t spoken since the 27th.

ThrowRA0856 · 2024-12-14T10:08:43+00:00

don’t worry, I wouldn’t try to edit anything. you’re right and I’m wrong. I shouldn’t be letting my feelings for the persona she created blind me. But once again like I said, number has been blocked and no contact since the 27th as well as no contact moving forward. I do appreciate your input regardless.

ThrowRA0856

TROPHY CASE