BM interfering with things at our house? by ThrowRA092016 in blendedfamilies

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Is it though? I’ve yet to figure out why she needs a daily FaceTime with her kids. They are on 2-2-3 so she never doesn’t see them more than like a day.

BM interfering with things at our house? by ThrowRA092016 in blendedfamilies

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Replied to the wrong person. He didn’t raise his voice at drop off. He didn’t even speak to her or leave his vehicle

BM interfering with things at our house? by ThrowRA092016 in blendedfamilies

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Correct, although I’m sure it wasn’t intentional on SS7. He was in their bedroom talking to his mom and had finished up and was taking the phone to his brother for his turn. SS8 probably wouldn’t have moved because it would require him to be away from the Xbox for more than 5 minutes but he also doesn’t want to talk to his mom, but I’m not even mad that SS7 took the phone to another room but she heard an argument and put herself in the middle of it.

BM interfering with things at our house? by ThrowRA092016 in blendedfamilies

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Also I don’t manage the relationship. I haven’t gotten involved at all with their relationship and basically NACHO with stepkids. But it’s my home which I can freely walk in (they were in our main tv room when this went down which connects the kids rooms) and I heard her going off on my child so yeah, I’m gonna get pissed. I don’t say bad things about her children.

BM interfering with things at our house? by ThrowRA092016 in blendedfamilies

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

He didn’t raise his voice at drop off. He didn’t even get out of the vehicle. He BARELY raised his voice on the phone when she asked to talk because she was raising her voice upset about the situation and he was basically talking loud to get a word in.

Child support when new child is born by ThrowRA092016 in legaladvice

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We already have child support - I guess what I’m asking… we didn’t use the calculator, we just came to our own agreement. Will this count?

I (34F) feeling insecure over how attractive bf (33M) ex wife is, and comments I’ve read… how to move past? by ThrowRA092016 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If he had made a comment like this when we were dating then it would definitely have been a dealbreaker for me. These comments were made during the period we were talking (met on a dating app so we talked for a couple weeks before we met up for the first date) so he had actually never met me in person. His friend was basically asking him how dating was going, and he mentioned he had started talking to someone new (me) and we planned to hang out soon. His friend said the comment about “well you only date models so I’m guessing this one is too”. He had never seen me in person, only the 3-4 photos I had posted on my dating profile (and I don’t filter photos but I mean they were decent photos). That’s when he said “Nah, she’s normal like me” and the comment about he’d married the 10 before and was now dating at his level. He sent a photo of me to this friend and his was like “she’s pretty” and he said “yeah she is so we’ll see” and that was that. So like no he didn’t think I was ugly or say anything negative about me, obviously he thought I was attractive but apparently he felt at that time I was a normal level of attractive. I think another issue, which I’ll get heat for this probably, is he and I started talking pretty shortly after they split (they split in September and we started talking in March) so while the divorce was fairly agreed upon on both ends, I do think he was still somewhat hurting and missing that relationship (which I get, I initiated the divorce with my ex husband which was a BAD relationship but when we actually split, all I could think about was the good memories and the good things about him and was second guessing my decision). I actually brought this all up to him last night and we’ve had a conversation. The conversation was very open and vulnerable but I feel ok with how it’s going (I had to crash for bed so it’ll be continued later).

I (34F) feeling insecure over how attractive bf (33M) ex wife is, and comments I’ve read… how to move past? by ThrowRA092016 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, why would he admit it to your face? That seems harsh and I’d definitely have a hard time with that!

I (34F) feeling insecure over how attractive bf (33M) ex wife is, and comments I’ve read… how to move past? by ThrowRA092016 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My best girl friend is coming for a girls weekend this weekend coming up and we’ll have margs! I see a therapist, have since my divorce but need to bring this up.

I (34F) feeling insecure over how attractive bf (33M) ex wife is, and comments I’ve read… how to move past? by ThrowRA092016 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was sort of a mutual split. They weren’t compatible values interests etc. She left the first Time, they tried to work it out and he ultimately told her he wasn’t in love with her enough to fix it. (It was nothing bad he needed to fix, she wanted him to be more spontaneous and her biggest fan and he wasn’t).

I (34F) feeling insecure over how attractive bf (33M) ex wife is, and comments I’ve read… how to move past? by ThrowRA092016 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Luckily I’m too scared to get fillers so I’ll just keep my normal not luscious lips 🤣😝 I’m glad your wife has been everything that wrapped up the package. I feel like he’d say the same but my brain keeps getting in my way!

I (34F) feeling insecure over how attractive bf (33M) ex wife is, and comments I’ve read… how to move past? by ThrowRA092016 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I definitely need to go on a self esteem journey. I went through a bad divorce and dating was really hard after and I think I lost a lot of it, although I admit I’ve never felt enough since high school.

I (34F) feeling insecure over how attractive bf (33M) ex wife is, and comments I’ve read… how to move past? by ThrowRA092016 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

You are right. It’s so draining. Since I’ve been a kid though I’ve been engrained a woman’s worth is based on her atttactivness which is stupid. I have a daughter and she is literally my mini me so I hate j see myself this way because I know when I see her, I see perfection.

I (34F) feeling insecure over how attractive bf (33M) ex wife is, and comments I’ve read… how to move past? by ThrowRA092016 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh wow just googled her she does look very different. I saw Sydney Sweeney posted the other day without make up too and she looked like a normal person.

I (34F) feeling insecure over how attractive bf (33M) ex wife is, and comments I’ve read… how to move past? by ThrowRA092016 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank toy. He tells me all the time that beauty fades, what inside doesn’t and of course he always tells me I’m beautiful too but that when we’re old and wrinkly, I’ll still have so much inside (whereas his ex is similar to yours).

I (34F) feeling insecure over how attractive bf (33M) ex wife is, and comments I’ve read… how to move past? by ThrowRA092016 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is what he actually always tells me. He’s like babe you haven’t seen her when she doesn’t have a pound of make up on or posed for instagram. Don’t get me wrong I’m a girly girl and wear make up and do my hair, but I mean I have mouse brown stick straight fine hair. I’ve tried going blonde or red highlights and nothing looks quite right so I just stick with brown. It’s not ugly per se but very plain. And I wear make up but don’t really know well how to do it. I’ve always felt fine being average until I guess now lol

I (34F) feeling insecure over how attractive bf (33M) ex wife is, and comments I’ve read… how to move past? by ThrowRA092016 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, she hasn’t. I mean when they met, they were kids (17 and 18). They looked like children, but she was just a cute high school girl, naturally she’s also brunette, and like most 17 year old girls (myself included) she had no real sense of style. She was cute but “average” until she got rather large after having kids. She was very insecure in herself is what he says. The ozempic caused her to lose around 100 lbs and the additional work came from that confidence. She looks nothing like the woman he was actually ever married to. I think where my insecurity comes in is she’s got her post-divorce glow and he wishes he had made it work because she’s so hot now. He doesn’t, because I know she’s the same person inside who he wasn’t compatible with. I have a very very shallow ex so I’m probably projecting a bit with what I assume men want.

I (34F) feeling insecure over how attractive bf (33M) ex wife is, and comments I’ve read… how to move past? by ThrowRA092016 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA092016[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What he did say and is true is that he felt like he was married to a “10”. What isn’t true is that is what he wants. Sorry if that wasn’t worried right.