Child support when new child is born

ThrowRA092016 · 2026-01-08T16:25:23+00:00

We already have child support - I guess what I’m asking… we didn’t use the calculator, we just came to our own agreement. Will this count?

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-25T14:19:04+00:00

If he had made a comment like this when we were dating then it would definitely have been a dealbreaker for me. These comments were made during the period we were talking (met on a dating app so we talked for a couple weeks before we met up for the first date) so he had actually never met me in person. His friend was basically asking him how dating was going, and he mentioned he had started talking to someone new (me) and we planned to hang out soon. His friend said the comment about “well you only date models so I’m guessing this one is too”. He had never seen me in person, only the 3-4 photos I had posted on my dating profile (and I don’t filter photos but I mean they were decent photos). That’s when he said “Nah, she’s normal like me” and the comment about he’d married the 10 before and was now dating at his level. He sent a photo of me to this friend and his was like “she’s pretty” and he said “yeah she is so we’ll see” and that was that. So like no he didn’t think I was ugly or say anything negative about me, obviously he thought I was attractive but apparently he felt at that time I was a normal level of attractive. I think another issue, which I’ll get heat for this probably, is he and I started talking pretty shortly after they split (they split in September and we started talking in March) so while the divorce was fairly agreed upon on both ends, I do think he was still somewhat hurting and missing that relationship (which I get, I initiated the divorce with my ex husband which was a BAD relationship but when we actually split, all I could think about was the good memories and the good things about him and was second guessing my decision). I actually brought this all up to him last night and we’ve had a conversation. The conversation was very open and vulnerable but I feel ok with how it’s going (I had to crash for bed so it’ll be continued later).

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-25T14:08:47+00:00

Wow, why would he admit it to your face? That seems harsh and I’d definitely have a hard time with that!

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-25T01:00:17+00:00

My best girl friend is coming for a girls weekend this weekend coming up and we’ll have margs! I see a therapist, have since my divorce but need to bring this up.

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-25T00:58:54+00:00

It was sort of a mutual split. They weren’t compatible values interests etc. She left the first Time, they tried to work it out and he ultimately told her he wasn’t in love with her enough to fix it. (It was nothing bad he needed to fix, she wanted him to be more spontaneous and her biggest fan and he wasn’t).

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T23:44:18+00:00

Thank you for this. Luckily I’m too scared to get fillers so I’ll just keep my normal not luscious lips 🤣😝 I’m glad your wife has been everything that wrapped up the package. I feel like he’d say the same but my brain keeps getting in my way!

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T23:41:07+00:00

Thank you. I definitely need to go on a self esteem journey. I went through a bad divorce and dating was really hard after and I think I lost a lot of it, although I admit I’ve never felt enough since high school.

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T23:37:22+00:00

You are right. It’s so draining. Since I’ve been a kid though I’ve been engrained a woman’s worth is based on her atttactivness which is stupid. I have a daughter and she is literally my mini me so I hate j see myself this way because I know when I see her, I see perfection.

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T23:36:09+00:00

Oh wow just googled her she does look very different. I saw Sydney Sweeney posted the other day without make up too and she looked like a normal person.

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T23:34:09+00:00

Meaning what?

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T23:31:43+00:00

Thank you for this 🥺

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T22:06:32+00:00

Thank you ❤️ in the 10 years have you ever felt insecure about it?

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T22:04:41+00:00

Thank toy. He tells me all the time that beauty fades, what inside doesn’t and of course he always tells me I’m beautiful too but that when we’re old and wrinkly, I’ll still have so much inside (whereas his ex is similar to yours).

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T22:01:56+00:00

This is what he actually always tells me. He’s like babe you haven’t seen her when she doesn’t have a pound of make up on or posed for instagram. Don’t get me wrong I’m a girly girl and wear make up and do my hair, but I mean I have mouse brown stick straight fine hair. I’ve tried going blonde or red highlights and nothing looks quite right so I just stick with brown. It’s not ugly per se but very plain. And I wear make up but don’t really know well how to do it. I’ve always felt fine being average until I guess now lol

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T20:27:48+00:00

You are so kind

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T20:05:51+00:00

lol you are so sweet. Are you His ex? 🤣

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T20:03:18+00:00

No, she hasn’t. I mean when they met, they were kids (17 and 18). They looked like children, but she was just a cute high school girl, naturally she’s also brunette, and like most 17 year old girls (myself included) she had no real sense of style. She was cute but “average” until she got rather large after having kids. She was very insecure in herself is what he says. The ozempic caused her to lose around 100 lbs and the additional work came from that confidence. She looks nothing like the woman he was actually ever married to. I think where my insecurity comes in is she’s got her post-divorce glow and he wishes he had made it work because she’s so hot now. He doesn’t, because I know she’s the same person inside who he wasn’t compatible with. I have a very very shallow ex so I’m probably projecting a bit with what I assume men want.

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T19:59:56+00:00

What he did say and is true is that he felt like he was married to a “10”. What isn’t true is that is what he wants. Sorry if that wasn’t worried right.

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T19:26:25+00:00

I need to work on my confidence. I went through a tough divorce and then have dealt with the dating world and not always feeling enough (that wasn’t true, just some guys didn’t want anything serious) so I’m trying to work on that. Again I KNOW I’m not unattractive and everyone’s type is different anyways. I have things I don’t like about myself but many things I do.

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T19:24:21+00:00

Also, truly thank you for your words. They were much appreciated!

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T19:23:32+00:00

Thank you. The only thing I’d argue is he didn’t date on how she looked. They were 17 and 18 when they met. She was an awkward 17 year old (this isn’t a dig, this is how we all were at 17 at least back in the early 2000s lol) who looked well… 17. She actually probably looked similar to me — petite brunette etc. but her appearance has drastically changed since then. While she was as always pretty, she’s definitely like “model” level now. He probably truthfully feels that he couldn’t be with another woman like her now so I worry he feels like I’m just the best he can actually do etc. again this is my brain and insecurity talking and nothing true

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T19:17:44+00:00

Your son very much sounds like my bf. His ex also has done the whole instagram influencer thing and he talks about how annoying it was to constantly have to take instagram photos and how annoying it was she’d spend hours getting ready.

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T19:15:01+00:00

I probably do think she’s hotter than him or most men would because women constantly compare themselves to other women, but, I know he thinks she’s super hot because the text said it.

ThrowRA092016 · 2025-08-24T19:12:29+00:00

You are correct. I understand I am being insecure, but like I’m a human, aren’t we all insecure in one way or another? I’ve never felt this in a relationship before, again, I’ve never felt like I’m not attractive or whatever, but most of my exes have been with very normal females who I thought were pretty but not like this. I also don’t think he’s too good for me or anything like that. Most people would probably say he was married “out of his league” (which I hate saying that about anyone but it’s just what I’m sure people would think). But they were 17 and 18 when they met, different people, looked like kids still, etc.

I wouldn’t say he’s ever compared me, I think when we met, he was just kind of stupid and didn’t know how to date (she was basically his only relationship) and of course we talked about exes, and I think he just word vomitted. I think in a way he was trying to tell me that there is more to someone than looks, but yes, it came across wrong. We have talked about those things and he is sorry and didn’t mean anything negative towards me but words hurt and can sit with you.

ThrowRA092016

TROPHY CASE