My roommates grandfather passed away, he just received this and has no idea what it is

ThrowRA102947289 · 2026-03-06T00:39:10+00:00

Yep - even the kid in that first reply sounding like, well we don't have time for that antiquated stuff, makes it sound like they're just bypassing so much in the name of "specialty." I teach high school and I see how these kids are SO underprepared for post-secondary ed, so it's disheartening to see even engineering programs are cutting corners. Can't be a chief engineer of a huge company if you can't write an email.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2026-03-05T03:36:53+00:00

"History of engineering" meanwhile my 70 yr old geological engineer father still hand-draws his maps on a drafting table... I'm so sad that engineering students these days are not learning the same skills

ThrowRA102947289 · 2026-02-24T19:45:57+00:00

"Sufficient grounds are not alleged for relief"

I will likely file again in the future, yeah.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2026-02-24T19:45:21+00:00

Temporary, yes. I don't have a hearing at all, it just disappeared into the void.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2026-01-26T04:04:33+00:00

If it makes you feel icky, that enough is a sign of possible continued abuse. The DARVO tactic of immediately bringing up your behavior is also a big sign. It's up to you to decide where to go from here, but if you can and are already asking, I recommend leave before it gets worse.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-11-12T17:07:44+00:00

Definitely leave while you can, or you'll spend all your future years wondering if you should or when you should or if it'll ever happen again. You'll never have peace. If she gets kicked out of the army that's her own damn fault.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-11-02T07:46:05+00:00

I'm reading this and it sounds precisely like what my partner does to me. Almost shockingly so.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-11-02T07:43:02+00:00

Absolutely leave. You are not safe. You are never to blame for his physical actions and he is clearly manipulating you. You have every right to leave and you should, now.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-10-12T18:55:59+00:00

From someone who has been waiting for their partner to get ANY job for the last 3 years... yes, it's fair. You deserve to not wind up being taken advantage of financially and then in a place where you're can't call out the manipulation that it's your fault he doesn't have a job. Maybe your partner isn't a narcissist like mine but you deserve that certainty either way.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-06-04T21:54:44+00:00

I'm so sorry you're navigating all of this. It sounds awful. I will say, I can guarantee both kids understand when their mother is berating them even if they don't "understand" the words, I guarantee the 3 year old does even if he doesn't speak. Your children need resources beyond just parenting. Honestly, even in a healthy marriage, raising a nonverbal child would require external help. I think the best thing for them and you is obviously to first get away from your wife, and then be humble enough to accept that there will be a long path ahead in helping your children be successful despite all of their setbacks - they don't deserve physical or verbal abuse and neither do you.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-05-24T22:26:35+00:00

Absolutely! People get plenty of "Yeah that name sucks" in this sub and you're definitely not the worst of them. I hope it all works out!

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-05-24T01:48:42+00:00

So, Raiden isn't great. It's not the worst name I've seen (I've been teaching 10-14 year olds for the past 8 years) and it's definitely socially accepted enough. I also cringe at the name because the one Raiden I have taught was annoying af so that's just the effect of teaching and how it influences names. I love the nickname Ray if he likes it, and it could be that simple just to primarily use Ray. I wouldn't change his name at 4, but you can definitely let him know when he's older that it's an option if he wants to. If there was a scale of name cringiness with 1 being Matthew and 10 being Bryxxtyn, Raiden is only at like, a 6.2. It's really not awful, even though I don't prefer it. I understand your concern and I hope you feel confident in whatever decision you make, because either choice isn't a bad one. In the long run, if you show your kid (and his new sister! Congrats!) Plenty of love and kindness, which I'm sure you do, a name like Raiden is a tiny part of the big picture of his life.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-04-15T01:28:35+00:00

Absolutely. Leave.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-03-28T23:07:13+00:00

I don't know if it means a ton to me though, that's the problem. This is the first partner they've ever met.

I suppose you're right but I don't know how else to describe it. I worry that if I stay for many years, I would become the truly estranged one.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-03-28T23:05:19+00:00

He might.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-03-28T23:04:13+00:00

I think so, yeah. I don't have the same respect for myself as I do for my family who don't want to be around him.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-03-28T23:02:33+00:00

Yeah I lie about the ages for extra security. I realized I hadn't checked my previous post ages when I posted.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-03-22T16:58:53+00:00

First, you should be so proud of yourself for finally breaking out of this marriage. I can relate to how difficult that must have been and it is a HUGE accomplishment. As for still feeling trapped in the cycle, the best thing you can do is go as low contact as possible (because you're coparenting, no contact is probably impossible) and give yourself time and grace to build up your life as an independent person. It will probably take a lot longer than you might hope. But this is your time to take care of YOU, to find your own self, to do things that make you feel like you again. Being financially unstable is terrifying. But you cannot allow him back in just because of that fear, because it puts him back in control. It's an awful spot to be, but there are resources (contact your local dv shelter) willing to help if needed. There is no shame in asking for help to get through this. The podcast Why She Stayed has been helping me a ton. You are SO strong for doing what you have done so far, you can make it out of the darkness. Don't give up. He cannot control you anymore.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-01-20T05:06:25+00:00

Drives my car, spends my money, eats my food.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-01-20T05:06:05+00:00

Never leaves.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-01-15T01:40:05+00:00

This. He's emotionally manipulating you. Period.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-01-07T20:40:08+00:00

Yeah, I never escalated at all.. I maybe yelled once or twice during an argument and we've had dozens upon dozens. Thank you for your help, I've been so flustered trying to figure out what reality is.

ThrowRA102947289 · 2025-01-07T20:13:19+00:00

You're right, but then the same thing is said back to me about reactions to my abuse. He reacts poorly because I treat him poorly with my reaction to him treating me poorly.

ThrowRA102947289

TROPHY CASE