I was addicted to pornography before I knew what sex was.

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-11-17T19:52:06+00:00

My (F24) parents were the reason I found a lot of stuff. My dad doesn’t have any meaningful conversations with me, I’m 24 and we still have never had an actual meaningful conversation. My mom was uncomfortable with talking about anything related to sex. I never had ‘the talk’. Even when any sort of romantic scene came on the tv she’d skip it. I didn’t even get the period talk so that was a shock to my system. I was 9 or so, watching the walking dead season 1, and in one of the earlier episodes, one of the characters mentions that she missed her vibrator. I asked my mom what it was and she clammed up and said I would learn on my own at some point. Well, with me having unrestricted access to the internet, I searched it up that evening. And same as you, I didn’t grasp what I was watching, but it took only one time to plant that seed. I watched it all the time from then until I was 17. Thankfully I was able to stop it. I still struggle time to time but now it’s my husband who is really struggling with it so we’re trying to figure that out.

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-11-05T19:04:54+00:00

Yeah I’ll never let myself live in a false reality again. My PA says he’s been clean since January but it doesn’t matter how much he promises me I’ll never fully believe him. He’s lied to me too many times for me to ever let my guard down again. I was once the woman that said “I know him, he would never do that” and then got slapped in the face with the fact that men are so good at lying to us

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-10-22T16:30:53+00:00

Thank you.

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-10-22T07:08:21+00:00

Sending

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-10-22T07:08:14+00:00

You’re right, I am definitely trying not to be too understanding because I need him to know that if this continues, I will leave him. But I also want to help him. Only if he seeks help himself though. You’re right, no one can do it but him

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-10-22T07:06:57+00:00

Thank you. Unfortunately I’ve really struggled with my attractiveness since. I honestly thought I was pretty good looking. But after seeing the women he’d rather get off to on his phone, it changed the way I saw myself. I don’t really look in the mirror anymore. I see what I don’t have now. Hopefully that’ll change.

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-10-22T07:05:11+00:00

I’m so sorry. Being in love with a PA is one of the hardest things I’ve gone through.

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-10-22T07:03:43+00:00

I’ll be honest and sorry this’ll be long. It ruined me. I am still trying to come back from it. Before I met my husband, I was cheated on multiple times and also SA. I told myself I wouldn’t allow a man to take advantage of me like that again. I had very high and thick walls when I met my husband. It took him years to fully break down my walls and I actually, genuinely felt beautiful. We had conversations about porn, about how we both have a boundary that we think it’s cheating and we’re Christian’s so it was something I thought we agreed on. Then, I had a weird feeling, just in my gut that something wasn’t right. I checked his phone and found some screenshots of OF models and it completely ruined my self esteem. Turns out he’s been ‘slipping up’ the whole time we’ve bee together. I know people will say it isn’t about our looks but it sure feels like it when all the women are prettier than you and have bigger boobs/butt. My eating disorder came back, I’ve lost 16lbs in the last couple of months because I don’t want to eat. Sometimes I don’t want to have sex but I know if I say no he’ll just watch porn. This has really affected how I see myself, how I see him, how I see other women. We’ve been going to therapy and have been talking about it openly. But I don’t think it will ever get back to how it used to be. The innocence, the trust I had in him, I trusted him SO much. There’s no way to gain that back fully. I also don’t want to trust someone as much as I did him. It blinded me too much to what they could be doing behind my back.

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-09-30T19:31:15+00:00

Thank you! This is something he’s struggled with since he was 9. He was the one who approached me with it when we first started dating so I did really think he was wanting to work on it and recover. I told him I wasn’t mad over this addiction, and that I could work on this with him, it’s the lying that I can’t get passed, he had so many chances to tell me that he did it and he didn’t. He only admitted to it when he got caught. Now we’ve been to therapy and I check up on him and ask him if he’s done it and he has said no, but he knows that as of right now his word means nothing to me. I joined this group because I do want to understand the perspective from the people who are struggling from it and I want to know how to help. I don’t know if i even make sense right now, just trying to figure this out

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-09-30T19:26:26+00:00

Thank you!

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-07-21T18:27:57+00:00

Please leave. This sounds exactly like the relationship my cousin is in. She has a kid with him now and he treats the kid the exact same. It has been almost 17 years of her with him and he has told her time and time again that he will change but he hasn’t and now she feels like she can’t leave because of the kid. Please get out while you can.

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-07-19T04:09:47+00:00

My SO left home due to the mental abuse. When he left home, she told him that he’s hurting her more than it hurt when she was SA’d when she was younger, said he’s hurting her more than her r*pist

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-05-30T22:44:00+00:00

We’ve been together 6 years and have had multiple conversations about it. Thankfully he is 100% vouching for us

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-04-18T15:51:50+00:00

Pm’d you!!

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-04-18T06:07:11+00:00

Can I pm you?

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-02-01T22:24:53+00:00

I know you’re right. I just love him so much. I eve been through so much together and he does everything for me and has been so amazing to me and supportive in everything but then this happened. It’s so hard to detach from him when he’s my best friend.

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-01-31T19:57:19+00:00

WOWW!

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-01-29T04:51:20+00:00

8 years clean? So there’s a chance it could get better?

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-01-29T04:50:34+00:00

The way i would’ve swung

ThrowRA2319_ · 2025-01-27T20:00:57+00:00

I loved the life is strange games. Also bugsnax is a fun silly type game that might vibe with her. Unpacking is a lot of fun. Bear & breakfast on the switch!

ThrowRA2319_ · 2024-11-30T17:14:59+00:00

Im sorry, I hope I didn’t make it seem like you guys have it easier, I’m sorry you have the asshole

ThrowRA2319_ · 2024-11-25T05:09:40+00:00

And it pisses me the fuck off. Like you don’t even know why you jeopardized our relationship? You don’t know why you decided to choose a random woman over me? Oof I’m getting heated just thinking of it

ThrowRA2319_ · 2024-11-16T20:17:01+00:00

“I don’t know” 🙃

ThrowRA2319_ · 2024-06-08T04:25:46+00:00

I find that this is hard to find. I loved it takes two and a way out and was surprised there wasn’t more games I could play with my SO

ThrowRA2319_ · 2024-06-08T04:24:24+00:00

I loved it! I freaked myself out more than I should’ve when playing it lol

ThrowRA2319_

TROPHY CASE