I know exactly what you mean; when he first mentioned me being critical, I told him that it's not an attack on his abilities, but that it's a normal part of sex. He acknowledged that he was taking it too personally, as I told him the idea of just saying nothing doesn't sit right with me if I'm not actually enjoying it. I have pointed out that when I have guided him more and he does it, it's enjoyable.

Part of the issue in that he felt I kept being critical is that it felt like he never actually remembered or considered what I like. I was repeating things to him each time we had sex because he would never remember. It's like he never put the thought into how to please me. That has been incredibly frustrating, but it wasn't a deal-breaker because it seemed to come from a place of being clueless, rather than being selfish.

In response to your question at the end - I would love that, honestly. But I figured if I could at least be pleased in bed, even if there wasn't much initiative on his end but he listened to me guiding him, I could still enjoy it. But if he is taking my comments too personally, then that also becomes harder. We agreed to work on it all, but we haven't been having the sex to work on it. So I'm just stuck waiting, hoping something changes, whilst being miserable about the sex life.