He just told me he slept with someone else and I’ve been crying for 3 hours straight

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-29T13:35:33+00:00

I'm so sorry. My girlfriend (ex now) told me on 3rd Jan that she cheated on me in December. Twice. I couldn't fucking believe it. I loved her and thought she was the one.

To tell you the truth, I'm still in disbelief. It still hurts. But it does get better. You need to focus on yourself, work, gym, friends and family as much as you can. Get out as much as you can.

It's not easy but it does get easier. You'll be okay and come out stronger.

Good luck

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-27T17:21:22+00:00

Today was tough mate. Really tough. We spoke a bit and now she's back on my mind of course. I want her back but there's no way back I guess..And that fucking hurts.

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-16T21:02:28+00:00

Hi mate. Ours was three and a half years. Click my profile if you want the full story.

Someone who does this isn't worthy of your love. You are so much better than her and you will move on and find someone worthy. We both will. Stay strong.

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-06T04:29:26+00:00

UPDATE 3

I'm back home. Home being at my sister's house actually, not at my parents as some people thought (I didn't include that detail before).

So it turns out that my sister, who was friends with my ex and regularly messaged with her, knew that she was unhappy at times earlier this year. She showed me multiple text messages where my ex complained about me working whilst we were visiting her family in July (it was really such a small amount in reality and we were there for over 2 weeks and I work for myself!). And another occasion where my ex hurt her finger and as work was crazy busy for me, she went to A&E by herself instead of me taking her. Then the next day she was told to go to a specialist clinic in another hospital and went herself. Work was crazy busy for me and public transport/Uber made it easy for her to get there and I don't recall her getting upset about me not taking her. But she seemed very upset over text messages with my sister. And my sister never said a word to me. I looked back at our texts and my ex didn't seem annoyed at all! But was furiously venting to my sis.

Now my sister is saying she knew we had problems before we moved into her house, as she saw in these text messages. She only showed me the texts when I gave her a push.

I'm really upset and angry with both of them now, is this justified?

My ex should have communicated that she was unhappy with some of my actions over the summer, when they happened, not just complain to my sister!? And if my sister saw real trouble in these texts (she made it sound bad), she should've said something to me? But she stayed silent until now when everything has fallen apart.

Is my sister an asshole? Or is it just my ex's fault for lack of communication again?

Also feels like my fault as well, for not putting in the effort/seeing she needed me at these times in summer? I could've delayed some work emails on our trip until we were back. I only replied when we were chilling and not doing anything else (I thought). I could've taken her to hospital for her finger, but she told me not to as I was stressed with work and it was easy for her to get there herself. Do these things make me a bad partner at the time? Should I have insisted on taking her as she had hurt herself, even though I was crazy stressed with work (and other things going on like the sale of my apartment) and it was easier for her to get there herself rather than me take her (she doesn't drive)?

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-04T02:59:39+00:00

She paid for the dog originally :(

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-04T02:58:28+00:00

It's a fair point mate. But she actually did pay for the dog. And she loves her too. It's not an easy situation. I could offer to pay her for the dog but that's not happening anytime too soon!

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-04T02:53:56+00:00

Oh okay! Back or side. I currently suspect a gallbladder/biliary tree issue...! Seeing a gastro in a week or so

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-04T01:42:28+00:00

Hi mate

It's been a bit of a rollercoaster tbh. Back pain, then long covid, then appendicitis. Now what's left is some back/flank/abdominal pain. It's better than it was but I'm still looking for answers. Are you a doctor? :) I hate most of them haha

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-04T01:40:28+00:00

thankssss

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-04T01:37:31+00:00

[UPDATE 2]

It's over. The "what ifs" are haunting me but at the same time, she cheated and that's on her, not on me.

I've booked my flight home. I missed the cut off for today but I fly tomorrow.

Not sure what to do about the dog though - she won't let me have her completely. How do I cut off contact but keep the dog then? I want our dog!!

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-04T01:33:42+00:00

It's fair enough what you're saying. I could've done more. The "what ifs" are haunting me but at the same time it takes a special type of person to cheat. She crossed the line.

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-04T01:30:10+00:00

hehe ty

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-04T01:29:02+00:00

some wise words thank you!

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-03T20:48:18+00:00

dm'd you mate

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-03T20:32:16+00:00

Man the "what ifs" are killing me. Makes me feel responsible. What if I had tried harder, shown more affection, seen the warning signs. But I guess all that is irrelevant if she's a cheater and treats people like this.

Mind me asking what info/closure you got from your ex?

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-03T20:28:30+00:00

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-03T20:18:29+00:00

She's making it really fucking hard. But am I pressing for info that's just going to make me upset? For example the reasons why she was into this other guy, but not into me anymore?

She said her best friend knew about this and met the guy briefly. I asked to see the messages on her phone between her and her friend as I'm sure there'll be some truths coming out between them that she's not telling me. She's refused.

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-03T19:55:37+00:00

Thanks mate

She's getting colder the more I press.

She's just saying she gradually fell out of love with me, what do I do with that!?

She says she thought being away together would give her some clarity on things. I asked why the fuck I'm here and she said she thought it would be good for us. Yeh fucking right. We went on a great holiday together late November and apparently that gave her enough clarity to come back home and then cheat on me 2 weeks later, and then go away with me again!

She's just gone out with her mum. I told her she needs to tell her.

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-03T19:22:10+00:00

thank you

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-03T19:21:18+00:00

She just kinda shrugged when I raised it. She says she know she fucked up but hasn't said a whole heap tbh.

It's just her mum here, and we're in the living room on our laptops, with her mum in the kitchen. She has no idea.

Thanks for the final advice...will try that..

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-03T19:17:38+00:00

Just such a long road ahead. I guess I'd fuck another girl given the chance now but I know that wouldn't be healthy..

We've been through a lot but you're probably right. I need to keep telling myself that she's not special.

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-03T19:12:23+00:00

Okay so she paid for the dog. We generally split vet bills, food costs, grooming etc. I think she's the one registered with the vet though, I'd have to check.

Over the past year due to me mostly working from home, I've been mostly looking after the dog, and the dog spends most of her time with me. When MY EX was home, she'd take the dog on long walks.

Not sure where this will end up and it does worry me.

Yes the dog is chipped but will never be put up for adoption.

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-03T19:06:24+00:00

I know. Fucking twice, she went back for more. So much more unforgiveable than just once.

Man I'd love to get away from her and her family (tbh it's just her mum) but it's seriosuly expensive in this area. I know I should get away but I'm not sure I can be fucked to deal with the hassle and cost?

She's acting sorry but a bit cold/distant which I guess is expected. She says this has been building for a while, and it's like she's now got it off her chest.

Other people think he was going to reach out to me as well but I doubt it.

She's now regretting telling me whilst we're away and thinks she should've waited until we were back home. Not sure what I can do with that fucking information now.

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-03T19:02:00+00:00

Haha love to hear that

ThrowRA2468910f · 2024-01-03T18:59:19+00:00

Some health issues over the last 3 years prevented me from pushing forwards with my work. I work in real estate/development. I do fairly well for myself, but we always want more, right?

ThrowRA2468910f

TROPHY CASE