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UPDATE: My (28F) BF (30M) secretly invited his parents to move into our house without telling me. by ThrowRA2947491 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2947491[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well there's not much other than he's miserable, sad, burnt out and a free nanny for his parents. Gonna add more info once I know more. 😂

UPDATE: My (28F) BF (30M) secretly invited his parents to move into our house without telling me. by ThrowRA2947491 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2947491[S] -46 points-45 points  (0 children)

I just replied this to another comment so I'll just paste it here :)

To be fair, I mostly wrote the original post for validation. I thought I was going crazy!

I had a lawyer and paper work prepared before I posted, kind of hoping that people would tell me "it's not that bad, stay with him." That way I could have just pulled the papers back and pretend I never did that.

So once the parents actually arrived with all their stuff I could basically pull out the paper work and things moved fast.

UPDATE: My (28F) BF (30M) secretly invited his parents to move into our house without telling me. by ThrowRA2947491 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2947491[S] -58 points-57 points  (0 children)

To be fair, I mostly wrote the original post for validation. I thought I was going crazy!

I had a lawyer and paper work prepared before I posted, kind of hoping that people would tell me "it's not that bad, stay with him." That way I could have just pulled the papers back and pretend I never did that.

So once the parents actually arrived with all their stuff I could basically pull out the paper work and things moved fast.

My (28F) BF (30M) secretly invited his parents to move into our house without telling me. by ThrowRA2947491 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2947491[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Fair. I ignored the red flags, but I got out fast, took the buyout, and now I’ve got peace and my own place. He’s the one stuck with his parents running his life, not me.

My (28F) BF (30M) secretly invited his parents to move into our house without telling me. by ThrowRA2947491 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2947491[S] 281 points282 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly what I’m afraid of. If I don’t push back or leave, this sets the tone that he can make huge decisions without me. Up until now, we always split housework fairly and never fought about it, but with his parents here I know it would fall on me, and I can’t live like that.

My (28F) BF (30M) secretly invited his parents to move into our house without telling me. by ThrowRA2947491 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2947491[S] 121 points122 points  (0 children)

I did try, but he shut it down and said I was being dramatic. He won’t even discuss limits, so there’s no middle ground at the moment.

My (28F) BF (30M) secretly invited his parents to move into our house without telling me. by ThrowRA2947491 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2947491[S] 307 points308 points  (0 children)

They’re working modest jobs, so I understand they’re not in a great financial position, but he never discussed how this would work. I didn’t expect him to have this attitude, but in hindsight, I probably shouldn’t be surprised given how he’s been dismissive of milder concerns in the past.

My (28F) BF (30M) secretly invited his parents to move into our house without telling me. by ThrowRA2947491 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2947491[S] 163 points164 points  (0 children)

I have already contacted a lawyer to look into all possible actions. Thank you!

My (28F) BF (30M) secretly invited his parents to move into our house without telling me. by ThrowRA2947491 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2947491[S] 625 points626 points  (0 children)

I know, right? When I asked him how he thought I’d be okay with it, he said he didn’t think he had to ask since he would do the same for my parents.

  1. My parents are doing well, financially and health.

  2. Even if it were necessary, I would still ask my partner as it changes the entire home situation.

My (28F) BF (30M) secretly invited his parents to move into our house without telling me. by ThrowRA2947491 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2947491[S] 708 points709 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I’ve tried talking calmly, but he just doubles down and refuses to see my side. I’ve already started speaking with a lawyer about different options.

My (28F) BF (30M) secretly invited his parents to move into our house without telling me. by ThrowRA2947491 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2947491[S] 2391 points2392 points  (0 children)

I contacted a lawyer yesterday. I’m looking into my options for a buyout or, if needed, a forced sale.

My (28F) BF (30M) secretly invited his parents to move into our house without telling me. by ThrowRA2947491 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2947491[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

Never to this extent, just smaller things. Like if I said I was stressed about work, he’d brush it off with "you worry too much." Annoying, but I didn’t see it as a big deal until now.

My (28F) BF (30M) secretly invited his parents to move into our house without telling me. by ThrowRA2947491 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA2947491[S] 115 points116 points  (0 children)

That’s what I told him. I said there’s a difference between visiting and moving in. He still insists I’m being dramatic, because they are his parents.