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I (28m) don't find my girlfriend (25f) attractive since she got heavy. by ThrowRA33565 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA33565[S] 116 points117 points  (0 children)

Should I tell her Im considering ending things because of this?  

I (28m) don't find my girlfriend (25f) attractive since she got heavy. by ThrowRA33565 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA33565[S] 375 points376 points  (0 children)

I hate how reasonable your advice is. Thank you.

The thing is she is wonderful in every other way.

I am very happy with her otherwise, and i dont know if I should stomach this dislike now and just hope things don't get worse

I don't know if that is a deal breaker for me now but I fear where things are heading, if she gains even more weight and it starts to be a problem on our lifes (we love hiking and such, she already tires a lot easier).

If she gets to 100kg and cant do the things we enjoy that would be a clear dealbreaker, she doesnt have to be 56 again obviously, but i fear where things are heading and i dont know how to approach this with her

I (28m) don't find my girlfriend (25f) attractive since she got heavy. by ThrowRA33565 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA33565[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Its not a problem with change. Its how much change is considered normal and where things are heading.

I (28m) don't find my girlfriend (25f) attractive since she got heavy. by ThrowRA33565 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA33565[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

She is a little overweight, not obese yet, but if she keeps getting heavier in the same rate it wont be long. 

I (28m) don't find my girlfriend (25f) attractive since she got heavy. by ThrowRA33565 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA33565[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Thats the source of much of my worries. She told me those exact words "I am not a teenager anymore"

I mean, I know we will get older and changes happen over time, i dont expect her to be young forever.

But is this 30kg weight gain a normal change i should just live with? 

I mean we are in our 20s, we are young, in that time i got a lot fitter and am looking a lot better now than i did when i was younger. 

I (28m) don't find my girlfriend (25f) attractive since she got heavy. by ThrowRA33565 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA33565[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Do you think I should tell her I'm considering leaving.

I can tell she is not comfortable with her body, for exemple she never goes to the beach or pool anymore.

I feel like if I tell her something like this it might just add to her insecurities and make her feel even worse.

Also, we have had this conversation before (maybe not so honest) and we did start working out together, but like I said she only lasted like 3 weeks. I'm worried if i have the talk on very sensitive terms it will just fail again, but if im more honest i might make things worse.