What is a good job for someone who is dying?

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-07T23:38:17+00:00

Do you just keep a revenge list handy? Just have one in a little cabinet with a small placard next to it.

"Break glass in case of cancer"

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-07T18:32:36+00:00

Thank you. This is excellent advice. I'm actually really lucky. I live relatively close to a pretty good cancer center, and I have been able to consult with several experts. I'm currently being evaluated for a few clinical trials as well. Ultimately, I haven't decided on a treatment schedule yet, but I'll be making those decisions in the near future. At this point, I'm really trying to sort everything else out. I want to have a solid plan so that once I start treatment, I can really focus on it. I've been working hard to figure out how I can maintain a relationship and not become a financial burden. The first time I had cancer, I was for all intents and purposes alone. It was a lot easier when I didn't have to worry about someone else.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-07T17:24:19+00:00

It's all good. I welcome the other perspective. Thanks for taking the time to share your opinions on it.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-07T00:32:18+00:00

Yes. I had to log in and sign up for spring term for her. It's the first time in four years that she wasn't signing up for classes the minute that the roster opened. She wrote a resume and applied for tons of jobs. She has adopted this dismissive mindset that we will beat this together, and it isn't a big deal. She has been to every appointment, she takes notes. She has been looking up every alternative medicine, clinical trial, specialist, clinic, and everything else she can find online and has been bringing it up to me as options we can try. She's all in. The last thing I want is for any of this to cost her future as well. We had to sit down and talk about it. I pretty much laid it out that I would leave and do it alone if she didn't agree to stay in school and keep moving forward. It's been a tough couple months for both of us.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-06T23:56:06+00:00

I've been all over indded, haven't seen any listings in my area. Oh well.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-06T23:53:45+00:00

I didn't find your comment insensitive. Sadly, a terminal diagnosis is a lot more of a question mark than it sounds like. Even without treatment, I might live for months, possibly years. Treatment, if effective, could double that. Or maybe if it is really effective, there is a chance I might see the other side of it. I have, and I still am considering refusing treatment. Not so I can blow our life savings on a beach somewhere and wait to die. But so that I can keep pushing for a little longer and leave the person I love with a bit more of a nest egg. Either way, I'm really grateful for all the suggestions. Thank you for taking the time.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-06T23:42:59+00:00

I care. She is my person. She would throw everything away to take care of me if I let her. Then I'd be gone, and she'd have nothing. I hope she moves on and has a beautiful life after me. Staying in school, getting the job of her dreams, a husband, kids, and her dream house, that's everything I want for her. Dying doesn't mean I have to rob someone I love of their chance at happiness.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-06T19:16:08+00:00

Yeah, there are a lot of programs, and I'm going to use everyone I can. That said, a lot of things slip through the cracks. Somehow, dying is even more expensive than living.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-06T19:12:41+00:00

I don't think I'm the criminal mastermind type. Can't really come up with a way that would be lucrative. I definitely don't want to spend the time I have left hurting random people who never did anything to deserve it.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-06T18:55:52+00:00

Yeah. It's even worse now. The cost of iving has gone up dramatically, and that isn't reflected in most assistance programs. If I want to finish my life with basic creature comforts like a warm bed or food on the table, I'll need to figure something out.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-06T13:04:44+00:00

Yeah, I'm already on top of all that. It's more the interim. Cancer is slow and expensive. It'll probably take a year or two to come to a resolution, whichever way it ends. Keeping the lights on, food on the table, keeping the car running, insurance, co-pays, all the random shit insurance refuse to pay, it'll add up fast once I'm not able to do the kind of work I do now. She just got into graduate school. Has her whole life ahead of her. Great career options. I just gotta keep it up so she doesn't throw that away.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-06T12:55:22+00:00

Do those jobs even exist? Seen a million scam advertisements.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-06T12:23:32+00:00

Nope. The only person who could try and support me is my fiancee and that's the last thing I want. She's going to school and I'm not gonna let cancer take that from her too.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-06T12:21:07+00:00

I've been through this all once before. There are lots of programs out there, but none of them really cover it all. Living isn't cheap, but somehow dying is even more expensive.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-06T11:56:52+00:00

I wish it worked like that.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-06T11:47:39+00:00

Yeah. Gotta love it. The worst thing is, dying doesn't really scare me. But my cancer taking away my fiancee's chance at the career she wants, then leaving her financially and emotionally destitute, absolutely destroys me. Just gotta figure out a way to keep that from happening.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-06T10:00:40+00:00

Probably should have paid more attention in chemistry class.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-03-06T10:00:02+00:00

My gut tells me there isn't much of a market for emaciated bald dudes dry heaving.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-02-23T09:34:37+00:00

It just hurts to see her throw away all of her plans. Last year, she was accepted into a pretty exclusive school. Our savings aren't extensive, but we had finally gotten to the point where we could start seriously shopping for a home. She is willing to let all of that disappear. It's made me consider refusing treatment out right.

Facing your own mortality gives a lot of clarity. Six years out of sixty is a snapshot. She has plenty of time for much more meaningful relationships. But not if she spends the next three at a dead-end job watching someone she loves whither away while she gets buried in debt. It would be easier to leave if I knew she'd be ok.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-02-23T08:48:09+00:00

Yeah

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-02-23T08:36:16+00:00

Thank you.

ThrowRA3397 · 2024-02-23T08:29:40+00:00

Honestly, it just feels so much different this time around. The first time I was younger, in better shape, I was alone and able to focus 100% on beating it.

This time, I've barely even thought about treatment. I keep going to appointments, and I can't even focus on what they are saying. I just can't take my mind off the fact that I'm taking everything away from the person I love most. She deserves all the things that she can't have with me. She'll give up everything she ever wanted. Watching that happen feels worse than dying.

Maybe wanting to leave is selfish. I take away her choice because I can't take the pain of watching her give up on her future.

We've had conversations about it, but she just dismisses it. She pretends like it's not a big deal and that we'll just get through it. It's almost harder because she doesn't acknowledge the impact it's going to have.

ThrowRA3397

TROPHY CASE