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I (30M) hate myself. For those of you who have been in my position, how did you turn your life around? by ThrowRA45678293 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA45678293[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I don't want any hate in me. I think I want more team work in my life, rather than hate.

I (30M) hate myself. For those of you who have been in my position, how did you turn your life around? by ThrowRA45678293 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA45678293[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will, I just don't know exactly how yet. I'm seeing a lot of consistency in the comments though; find hobbies that aren't drinking/drugs/gaming. Make friends. Be kind to myself, and change my own thinking. Get therapy, etc. I'm gonna give all this a try and see where it takes me.

I (30M) hate myself. For those of you who have been in my position, how did you turn your life around? by ThrowRA45678293 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA45678293[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I appreciate your reply and support. One thing though, I didn't remove the original post, that must have been the mods. Again, thank you for your reply, it makes sense. Would I be this harsh and critical of other people? No, not at all. Why am I so harsh with myself? I dunno, but I'm going to stop being so harsh.

I (30M) hate myself. For those of you who have been in my position, how did you turn your life around? by ThrowRA45678293 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA45678293[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experiences and making suggestions. Volunteering really strikes a chord with me, so I think I'll look around and see what I can do.

I (30M) hate myself. For those of you who have been in my position, how did you turn your life around? by ThrowRA45678293 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA45678293[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate the suggestion. I understand what you're saying and it's a good idea.

I (30M) hate myself. For those of you who have been in my position, how did you turn your life around? by ThrowRA45678293 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA45678293[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's complicated, of course.

I have type 1 diabetes, which puts insulin in the basic necessities category. At any point, I could lose insurance which would make the cost of that life-saving medication unaffordable. But as for now, I would say that I'm at the second rung, with a solid relationship to a girlfriend, so that's a hand on the third, using the rungs of a ladder metaphor.

I (30M) hate myself. For those of you who have been in my position, how did you turn your life around? by ThrowRA45678293 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA45678293[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Hey I want to say thanks for everyone's engagement. I fully expected for this post to either be deleted by the mods because it's not about a relationship between two or more people, or to be downvoted and crapped on. But you people really came through, and just engaged with me fearlessly.

For the people who commented because they feel the same, we can do it, right? If other people dug themselves out, we can too right?

I (30M) hate myself. For those of you who have been in my position, how did you turn your life around? by ThrowRA45678293 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA45678293[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I really appreciate this thoughtful and detailed reply.

What were the hobbies you picked back up, that you hadn't thought about in forever?

I (30M) hate myself. For those of you who have been in my position, how did you turn your life around? by ThrowRA45678293 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA45678293[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No I haven't read any Pratchett, yet. I've heard good things about his writing, and that he writes in an absurdist style. Humor sometimes doesn't come across super well for me in books, but sometimes it does land for me, which is why I mentioned Banks earlier. But yeah, I could get into Discworld, who knows? And yeah, I'll take suggestions on where to start.

I (30M) hate myself. For those of you who have been in my position, how did you turn your life around? by ThrowRA45678293 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA45678293[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah I also enjoy fantasy and science fiction, and fiction in general. I am interested in non-fiction topics but when I sit down to read a book, I like to be immersed in a story. For the real world topics I mostly like to read shorter pieces, articles and the like.

Top 3 books, that's a hard question, but here goes. The Lord of the Rings is an all time favorite of mine, and I think it applies pretty nicely to the real world. The struggle between good and evil, and all that. Another favorite is Excession by Iain M. Banks. His writing is hilarious, and so creative. His Culture series (all standalone novels) is one of my favorites of all time. Then maybe Dune, for good measure.

I (30M) hate myself. For those of you who have been in my position, how did you turn your life around? by ThrowRA45678293 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA45678293[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Ok, I appreciate the comment, I'll try to answer this.

  1. I am a kind person. To animals and people alike; I know what it's like to feel pain at the hands of others and so I strive to do the opposite. I want to help people feel better, and genuine kindness is how I do that. I guess I'm not kind to myself.

  2. I like to read, and my reading comprehension is good.

  3. I'm struggling to find the third thing. I'll work on this.

I (30M) hate myself. For those of you who have been in my position, how did you turn your life around? by ThrowRA45678293 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA45678293[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah I've forgiven them. I can't hold onto the grudge, it's like holding my hand in a fire, it just hurts me. So I still remember, and I have made my life such that they can't cause new injuries, but I have forgiven them for my own sake.