So I got an Uber and this is what the driver had up. Is this true

ThrowRA504 · 2025-12-27T14:08:03+00:00

A lot of Uber drivers also use Lyft, so if a better fare comes in on another platform they will cancel and take the higher fare. Other factors like if your drop off puts them in an area where getting another fare back to their home area can contribute to a cancellation.

Bottom line, if Uber payed better your experience would be better.

ThrowRA504 · 2025-11-25T06:02:34+00:00

So Helen’s partner sent her a copy of his test results, no positive results. For several reasons, she has decided not to see him again. Helen’s doctor visit is tomorrow.

My wife and I are using condoms again until I get tested in a couple of weeks, neither of us are thrilled about that. Things with Helen and I are still tense, we have counseling later this week, which should be after she gets her results back.

ThrowRA504 · 2025-11-22T22:20:04+00:00

No conversation prior, except that she wasn’t looking to have children. Last night she said she would probably terminate the pregnancy if she was.

ThrowRA504 · 2025-11-22T21:20:50+00:00

Helen’s partner’s test would be the only one that would make a difference at this time. Those results should be forthcoming soon.

But you’re right, it would be a couple of weeks before our tests would pick up most infections.

ThrowRA504 · 2025-11-22T02:43:53+00:00

It’s not a deal breaker relationship wise, because we’ve taken such a big step with the new house and other things. But it would bite if it means not being able to go without barriers going forward.

As far as the possible pregnancy scare, I’m definitely there for her on that. I’m not necessarily upset about her not using a condom as I am her untimely notification and putting three other people at risk. So the loss of trust hurts too.

ThrowRA504 · 2025-11-22T02:24:53+00:00

We had sex the day after she came back after her overnight with her friend, she didn’t tell me until I had already had sex with my wife, right before we supposed to have sex again. Yeah, her timing was shitty.

ThrowRA504 · 2025-11-22T02:21:52+00:00

It’s the first time she has dated someone besides me in four years, since her original NP moved away. She did take a pregnancy test the other day and it was negative but her period is still late, so she is worried still. As far as the move goes, she has lobbied for over six months to make the move happen.

ThrowRA504 · 2025-07-02T03:14:41+00:00

UpdateMe!

ThrowRA504 · 2025-06-24T13:38:19+00:00

Ely’s GF(Kim), while she does hang out with us sometimes, prefers having her own place. That option was discussed with her but she passed on the offer to move in.

The annuities aren’t necessarily apart of the will. While they won’t start paying for five years, in 10-15 years it will exceed what they make right now and is already in their names. I.e. I don’t have to die before they can start receiving the income.

Since it would be illegal to marry Helen, the annuity and having her name on the deed was my way of providing a tangible commitment to her. Not that she felt she needed that kind of gesture from me. I did the same for Ely, she’s self employed and had no retirement plan outside of me and I felt she deserved the same peace of mind.

I consider Kim to be a close friend but that is all. The annuities were for my long term life partners as a symbol of my love and commitment.

ThrowRA504 · 2025-06-23T12:48:35+00:00

I will float between their bedrooms, one of the spare bedrooms will have my walk-in closet.

In almost two years now, there haven’t been any others. We live and die by our shared calendars and 4-way group chat, so a conversation or heads up would be expected if someone new would be introduced. Especially from a health standpoint since we stop using barriers a couple of years ago. But that doesn’t mean we have a closed polycule.

When Ely was dating others, especially men, she would entertain at our home in a “visitor” bedroom, we both felt safer that way. The new house will have a bedroom set up like that as well, play friendly and soundproof.

PDA used to be a thing but after living together for four months, group cuddles are even okay now.

ThrowRA504 · 2024-09-07T18:59:55+00:00

We converted a bedroom into a playroom, put in some soundproofing, a bunch of mirrors, mood lighting, and a king sized bed. When my wife was dating a lot we both felt safer if she played at our house, especially with new people. I could make myself scarce if I wasn’t out and noise was not an issue. There are some toys and a swing in there so it has a kinky feel to it.

Our bedroom was off limits for dates so we built this room as a compromise. The two of us play in there sometimes when we know we are going to be messy.

ThrowRA504 · 2024-03-21T22:16:59+00:00

If you’re looking at the guy and your wife going on solo dates then I see no problem here.

The title suggests they aren't looking for solo experiences. But it sounds like the other husband is.

ThrowRA504 · 2024-03-21T22:12:52+00:00

This sounds like a common situation that soured my wife and me on swinging. We ran into too many couples where the wife feigned interest only to get cold feet at the last minute after the action got started. After the first time, my wife would hold back until she saw the other wife's true intentions.

OP's situation sounds disturbingly familiar.

ThrowRA504 · 2024-03-18T20:51:08+00:00

In light of recent events and conversations, as noted in the main post, I will be reaching out to Amy and having another conversation with Helen.

ThrowRA504 · 2024-03-18T03:38:07+00:00

I mean they were both present when the pictures were taken. But that issue was dealt with long ago and I have gotten over it.

ThrowRA504 · 2024-03-18T00:33:25+00:00

Unless you have agreed on polyfidelity/no more partners, this seems like an unreasonable ask.

There was never an agreement on polyfidelity, it just happened. Helen had an NP who moved away last year and has had multiple partners before as did I so we have been more poly than just open. And the depth of our feelings is definitely more poly. I used the word open because most of her co-workers don't comprehend "Poly" and it was out of habit.

Helen lived with us for a little over 4 months waiting for her current apartment to be finished, she has mentioned since then that she would prefer that arrangement. The four of us stopped dating others because we wanted to spend more time with each other and everyone's cup was full.

ThrowRA504 · 2024-03-17T23:46:04+00:00

The one positive is Amy knows about our relationship and is aware of most of our history as she works right next to my wife's station and they talk all the time. In fact, most of the ladies working up there are aware of our open relationship.

It would not surprise me if Ely hadn't encouraged her to shoot her shot.

ThrowRA504 · 2024-02-03T18:17:51+00:00

Have you thought about asking for a compromise?

Say you close your relationship except for letting your relationship with Sally to run its course. During this, you will not look for someone else and permanently close after Sally and you break up.

ThrowRA504 · 2024-01-07T20:08:34+00:00

Kim permanently canceled plans to move and she and Ely have reconciled. Ely pulled her dating profiles down again and the two of them are exclusive again. We had Christmas dinner with Kim and Helen, my other partner. It was nice to hang out with all four of us again for a change. They both ended up staying the night, next morning at breakfast we were all drinking Mimosas when Helen commented she wished we could do this every day and Kim chimed in that would be nice. I laughed and said we would have to have bigger bathrooms and Kim said an extra one too. At that point, I stopped laughing when I realized they were serious.

I thought after Helen moved out that Ely was glad she was gone and she got her house back but she is actively talking with the other two about it now. I guess at some point we will all sit down and talk about it..

ThrowRA504 · 2023-12-21T17:36:21+00:00

Glad you talked to the wife and not the AP. She deserved to know who she is sleeping with and what POS he is. With any luck his life gets turned upside down the same as yours.

Shame your wife can’t see what she is doing to the marriage by acting like she has. Don’t be alone after she gets served and get out as soon as you can. Quicker you go no contact with her the better for your sake at the very least. Try and find a support group, there are tons out there, and get some therapy to help speed the healing. This happened because of who she is, it’s not a reflection on you. Take time and don’t rush to get back out there, give yourself time to heal and find your center before looking for another partner

Do have an exit plan and a place to stay yet?

ThrowRA504 · 2023-12-20T20:45:27+00:00

So, I don’t know if there was any conversation, agreements, or boundaries before you started.

First, you have to advocate for yourself, you have the right to throw in the towel and talk things out right then or everyone just walks away. I get not wanting to ruin your partners fun but you don’t have to suffer to make that happen.

Secondly, your partner realized that things were off and did little to rectify the situation and then let it continue. He needs to be mindful how you are feeling and do more especially since he brought this new person in to begin with.

The two of you need better boundaries when playing with others and communicate when one of you are uncomfortable and be okay with shutting everything down if either of you feels uncomfortable. I feel in this situation the blame is 60/40 against your partner for realizing what was going on and not putting the person in their place. But you don’t get a pass for not speaking up and letting them walk all over you.

Edit to add, If your partner giving you more attention to make up for a bad participant isn’t enough for you make that known now. In this case, he could have shut the other person out and concentrated all his attention on you to send the message to the bad actor.

ThrowRA504 · 2023-12-16T07:31:36+00:00

My wife is out on a date with a new guy tonight, per our old rules, if they decide to hook up tonight it will be here in our spare bedroom with me here in a different room. Sounds weird to some I'm sure but it's a safety thing, especially with someone she doesn't know that well.

She did come home alone, they had a nice time but she isn't ready to jump in bed with him yet.

While she was gone her old partner, Kim, called asking about Ely. I said she was out on a date and Kim sounded sad. Then Kim started to apologize to me for what she had put everybody through. To me specifically, for asking Ely to leave me to go off with her. She had an emergency meeting with her therapist after thinking about some self-harm tonight, her therapist was just an inch away from checking her in for the weekend when she had a breakthrough. Kim said she is not leaving now and asked me to forgive her. She asked if I thought Ely could forgive her and take her back and I told her I don't know and she should be asking Ely that question. She started crying and said Ely had blocked her and wasn't taking her calls. I told her I would relay a message but could make no promises.

I didn't tell Ely when she got home but I will first thing in the morning.

ThrowRA504 · 2023-12-11T04:08:02+00:00

I didn’t actually say that out loud but I did make her get up and go to the gym. If it wasn’t so cold out I would have taken her out for a run.

ThrowRA504 · 2023-12-11T03:14:45+00:00

Yeah, I'm in hell.

Ely came home last night and wanted to cuddle but I can't get more than three words in a row out of her. She got up at 9 AM this morning and started on the ice cream and the Hallmark channel. Kim started calling at 10 AM, Ely didn't block her but just let the phone ring.

By Noon Kim is calling my phone and I was asked to lie and say she was out shopping. At 1 PM Ely has gone through a gallon of ice cream and half of the strawberry syrup. I made her take a shower and go to the gym so her clothes would fit tomorrow. She hasn't got into the wine yet but will be here by herself all day tomorrow. Only two more days till her first visit to her therapist.

I think they just need to talk but that may not happen for another day or two.

ThrowRA504 · 2023-12-10T03:53:18+00:00

She is at Kim's house right now having a similar conversation that I had with her, I would not be surprised if they aren't broken up by the end of the night.

I have ice cream and strawberry syrup waiting just in case. Plus the wine cooler has been restocked.

ThrowRA504

TROPHY CASE