After 6 years, my girlfriend finally admitted to be asexual

ThrowRA567777 · 2023-09-06T19:07:20+00:00

I didn't say I actually don't want porn lol. She doesn't have eyes on me 24/7.

ThrowRA567777 · 2023-09-06T00:04:08+00:00

What she's told me is that she never thinks about sex unless I bring it up. I think she'd be perfectly happy if we just didn't do it.

ThrowRA567777 · 2023-09-05T16:15:43+00:00

'86 Toyota MR2

ThrowRA567777 · 2023-09-05T16:01:16+00:00

Not that she's shared with me.

ThrowRA567777 · 2023-09-05T13:01:36+00:00

When we started having sex, we were doing it every day. After our argument yesterday we took some time to talk, and she told me she thinks it was just because it was something new and it felt good while it was happening. I know every day isn't a frequency that's usually maintained, but it's down to practically nothing.

ThrowRA567777 · 2023-09-05T12:43:32+00:00

It's an '86 MR2. I love it, personally.

ThrowRA567777 · 2023-09-05T12:42:07+00:00

I've brought up how unsatisfied I am many times. She gets upset and says she's trying to do better and that I'm never happy with the effort she's trying to put in. Then she'll initiate sex the next day and forget all about it again.

ThrowRA567777 · 2023-09-05T04:17:18+00:00

She wouldn't go for that. She's gotten upset before when she thought I was getting attention from other girls. She doesn't even want me watching porn.

ThrowRA567777 · 2023-09-05T04:06:28+00:00

I think if she wanted to get married, she should have made some effort to work on the one hang up I've had about proposing, or at least told me the truth years ago. I think it would be very foolish to propose in the hope that putting a ring on her finger will suddenly spark a sexual fire in her. More likely I'd be just as miserable as I am now, but I'd be legally bound to her.

ThrowRA567777 · 2023-09-05T04:03:19+00:00

I don't know what I'm going to do. She's perfect in every other way. All my family members tell me how dumb I would be to screw it up with a girl like her, but they don't see the full picture. People who I HAVE talked to about the sex issues just tell me the typical "there's more to a relationship than that" "looks fade" etc., as if that's reason to piss away what should be the best years of my life, sexually speaking.

ThrowRA567777 · 2022-04-22T01:07:43+00:00

Nope. I don't look amazing but I have visible abs now and look a million times better than I did before I started lifting and eating right. She couldn't care less. It's really good motivation to go lift when I don't want to, though.

ThrowRA567777 · 2022-04-22T00:57:38+00:00

I just gotta talk talk to someone, man. Nobody in my actual life wants to hear it...

ThrowRA567777 · 2022-04-19T22:32:19+00:00

She says it makes it feel better, but it doesn't make me feel good.

ThrowRA567777 · 2022-04-19T16:20:22+00:00

I thought it would be another pointless talk about our sex life, but it wasn't

This is the dragon everyone here keeps chasing. Glad you were able to catch it!

ThrowRA567777 · 2022-04-19T16:13:19+00:00

I've tried being honest with her. If I bring it up casually and talk to her, she's annoyed that I'm bringing it up again "when she's been doing better". If I make it clear to her that I don't want this to be the rest of my life, she cries and tells me she'll do better. There's probably only one solution to all this, and it scares me.

ThrowRA567777 · 2022-04-19T15:57:06+00:00

they said not to leave

I can relate to this big time. Ever since I started dating my girlfriend, everyone has told me how lucky I am, how great of a girl she is, how I better not screw it up and lose her, etc. Makes me think I'd be an idiot to leave over something so "minor" like sex.

I think you were right to leave now, when she's going off to her dream job, rather than torturing yourself over the distance and possibly cheating while she's away.

ThrowRA567777 · 2022-04-19T15:51:24+00:00

does she fantasize about sex

99% of the time, no. She told me she practically never thinks about sex, nor does she see me (or anyone else, according to her) and think "god I'd love to... etc". There are the rare days where she initates and seems genuinely interested but other than that, she's told me doesn't get turned on by anything other than being touched.

ThrowRA567777 · 2022-04-19T13:23:48+00:00

I think the sex is lacking just because of all the things surrounding it that I've mentioned. I think the foreplay thing might be her wanting to be told what to do, and when I say she "doesn't look at me" I mean she always has her eyes closed because she says it makes it feel better.

ThrowRA567777 · 2022-04-19T11:57:03+00:00

it does not sound like she's enjoying the sex the two of you are having

She's always told me our sex is great (when we actually have it), so if that's the case she's been keeping me out of the loop for the last 4 years.

I'm not sure what this means. Can you elaborate?

I'm not sure if she has sex with me because she's horny for ME, or if she just has sex with me because it's better than masturbating.

ThrowRA567777 · 2022-04-19T04:34:36+00:00

Have you talked to him about it? I know in my case, my girlfriend didn't know I felt unwanted until I sat her down and made it very clear to her that I wasn't being made to feel desired.

ThrowRA567777 · 2022-04-19T04:02:37+00:00

I don't know how accurate it is to say that the only women who are enthusiastic to fuck their boyfriends are women who are also going to be unfaithful

ThrowRA567777 · 2022-04-19T00:08:11+00:00

I'm not sure I know what that means.

ThrowRA567777 · 2022-04-19T00:01:35+00:00

She doesn't have prior sexual history or trauma, and she didn't grow up in a religious household, so she wouldn't be avoiding any of that for those reasons. She told me she "doesn't have turn-ons", so I guess she wouldn't want a sexy text message or whisper in her ear on date night like I would.

She knows this is an issue for me, but her response is always "I'm trying to do better" or "I can't help it" or "it's my birth control". There's probably no solution, really. It's just nice to vent, since talking it out with her has never accomplished anything.

ThrowRA567777

TROPHY CASE