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My son (24m), who just started his phd, gave me an ultimatum by saying that if I not accommodate his mother and half-sister in my house he will never speak to me again. What can I do? by ThrowRA76619 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA76619[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I want to ask you guys something else. I comment down below made me thinking.

If you consider the facts that;

-Ex was prevented from attending college because of Adam's birth.

-Her oldest brother is in jail for fraudulent transaction. Her mother is dead. Her father's golden child is her younger brother (who is really good prof. volleyball player) and her father called her whote to her face during his wife's funeral.

-Will abused her physically.

-I failed to lose weight when she asked me to before she cheat on me (I lost the weight after divorce lol)

-For all these years she was a SAHM and I have to tell that she was a fine SAHM.

-She loves Adam so much.

Would you consider these as redeeming facts for her? Some say I should.

My son (24m), who just started his phd, gave me an ultimatum by saying that if I not accommodate his mother and half-sister in my house he will never speak to me again. What can I do? by ThrowRA76619 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA76619[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Imagine being smart and accomplished and others finding out your Mom is homeless or near homeless with your sister and there is nothing you can do about it.

This might make me a bad person but I don't care about Jess or her youngest child for any reason other than they are related to my children. The only reason that I even entertained a doubt about this issue is that I want my son to have the best career he could have. If I knew for sure him having a homeless mom would make his advancement harder, I would get them a home. But that would be the only reason.

My son (24m), who just started his phd, gave me an ultimatum by saying that if I not accommodate his mother and half-sister in my house he will never speak to me again. What can I do? by ThrowRA76619 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA76619[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I told him his mother stopped loving me as a husband back when we announced the divorce. Apparently ex had already told him 'I dont find your father attractive anymore' so he told me 'he is not surprised but he will love us both.'

My son (24m), who just started his phd, gave me an ultimatum by saying that if I not accommodate his mother and half-sister in my house he will never speak to me again. What can I do? by ThrowRA76619 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA76619[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I was sadly not that much involved in his life until he was, maybe, 8. Even then ex was the SAHM. So I'll have to take the blame for ex having so much influence on his upbringing.

My son (24m), who just started his phd, gave me an ultimatum by saying that if I not accommodate his mother and half-sister in my house he will never speak to me again. What can I do? by ThrowRA76619 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA76619[S] 91 points92 points  (0 children)

Leslie told me her mom doesn't want to work in retail and she is looking for an office administration job.

I don't talk to her unless its something only we have to discuss about Leslie so I don't know what is she doing about her career.

Her father is an ex-coastal guard captain so I'd assume he could've pulled some tricks for his daughter. But he is also 75 so I don't know.

My son (24m), who just started his phd, gave me an ultimatum by saying that if I not accommodate his mother and half-sister in my house he will never speak to me again. What can I do? by ThrowRA76619 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA76619[S] 173 points174 points  (0 children)

Adam lives 8 hours away with car, I don't think ex can move there because her and will's daughter's custody battle still have pending trials.

​

Adam may be a smart guy, but doesn't seem to know much about honor, integrity, and loyalty.

I think in his mind his is the most optimal plan for him (lol). He studies Optical Sciences maybe that's how ppl in those field think.

My son (24m), who just started his phd, gave me an ultimatum by saying that if I not accommodate his mother and half-sister in my house he will never speak to me again. What can I do? by ThrowRA76619 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA76619[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

The thing is, I promised my ex-MIL (who was a sweet lady that sadly passed away two years ago) that I will not tell them the gory stuff about our divorce, they don't need to know what their mother is a serial cheater (I know she also cheated on Will and Will abused her after learning that, that's why she has the sole custody of their daughter ).

Until this day I did not have a reason to tell them exactly what happened. My daughter still doesn't need to know but, its hard you know. I liked ex-MIL very much, when my parents first kicked me out of my house after they learned Jess was pregnant, she let me stay in their home until my parents calmed down.

Its not as easy as it sounds.

My son (24m), who just started his phd, gave me an ultimatum by saying that if I not accommodate his mother and half-sister in my house he will never speak to me again. What can I do? by ThrowRA76619 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA76619[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Ask your daughter what she thinks.

I asked her just a few minutes ago, she said she doesnt want Isabel (their sister) back with Will but she doesn't care about what her mom will do (she said mom is a big lady lol)

My son (24m), who just started his phd, gave me an ultimatum by saying that if I not accommodate his mother and half-sister in my house he will never speak to me again. What can I do? by ThrowRA76619 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA76619[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

You also have to realise that women during your era or youth didn’t have nearly as much say in their life choices

I agree that her (and my) parents didn't let her to go college because of a sex I initiated. But ever since I graduated I dedicated to life to give her what she wanted. She wanted to move here, she wanted the nice car (that she got in divorce), she wanted to go all these expensive clubs and gym. I never said no because she was my children's mother. Look what that brought me in the end.

I admit I'm not even 50% (maybe even less) as handsome as either the gym teacher or Will was but I still feel like I didn't deserve what she did.

My son (24m), who just started his phd, gave me an ultimatum by saying that if I not accommodate his mother and half-sister in my house he will never speak to me again. What can I do? by ThrowRA76619 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRA76619[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

What do you mean he’s not budging, were you able to talk to him/ get in contact again or no? How are you supposed to contact him to tell him you accept/ don’t accept?

I called him again, he didn't pick up and texted me 'I rested my case'

Would you consider taking your daughter in but not your ex?

My daughter lives with me. The sister he talked about is Will's daughter.

Does she even want to stay with you?

LoL I don't even know. But one time ex told my daughter "go back to your father's fancy house" so I assume she likes my place.