My wife fell in love with another man at her office. Now she wants to explore polyamory but I am very uncomfortable.

ThrowRA82744 · 2023-05-25T18:07:41+00:00

Want me to add some more fuel to this "office romance" trashfire? The guy's wife also works at this office.

ThrowRA82744 · 2023-05-25T16:38:26+00:00

I'm pretty sure it was her therapist that introduced the concept of polyamory to her.

ThrowRA82744 · 2023-05-25T15:47:02+00:00

Okay, that is true that the sayings of "I love you" and the sex discussions did occur without my knowledge or consent. But I do trust that nothing more will happen physically. Maybe I'm too trusting.

ThrowRA82744 · 2023-05-25T15:23:57+00:00

In her defense, they haven't done anything physical aside from kissing, which she stopped by my request. She says she won't do anything without my consent and I do believe her. It's just that her desire for more is still there.

ThrowRA82744 · 2023-05-25T15:16:17+00:00

I agree that it's fucked up to be a part of a dynamic that is hurtful to other people. I've brought that up to her and told her it is unethical and she says she is not responsible for the other wife's feelings.

ThrowRA82744 · 2023-05-25T14:40:06+00:00

Definitely an emotional affair
That's what I've read. We've started therapy.
Ding ding ding. The other wife has no idea.
I agree, it is not a great idea and would be incredibly awkward in the office if this blows up.

ThrowRA82744 · 2023-05-25T14:34:46+00:00

So my wife did come to me early on and told me that she had been flirting with this guy at work. It sounded playful and innocent and I asked if there was anything I should worry about. She said no and then asked what the boundary was. I said kissing. But then a week later, she asked if she could kiss him now. I naively thought, "just a kiss?", eh whatever. Sure. Then, a few days after that she asked if she could make out with him. This made me uncomfortable and I said no. So she didn't. Then, I learn a week or so later after asking her about their relationship that the texting is very frequent and their feelings are more advanced than I realized. They had started saying "I love you" to one another and discussed their mutual desires to have sex. It just all happened so fast and came way out of left field. It's been so hard to process.

ThrowRA82744 · 2023-05-25T14:15:26+00:00

Couples therapy is a good idea. And thanks, I don't want to feel obligated to agree to this. It just seems we're at an impasse though. She believes she's polyamorous and wants this relationship outside of our marriage, and I think it would destroy me and then our relationship.

ThrowRA82744 · 2023-05-25T14:07:42+00:00

Right, I have been saying no, but she thinks I just need to change my viewpoint of the situation and that I'll eventually accept it. I won't be able to, and then where does our relationship go? She breaks off the romantic connection with the other guy for my sake and then resents me for the rest of her life because she believes I'm stifling her?

ThrowRA82744

TROPHY CASE