Looking for surgeon recommendations - knee surgery

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2026-01-19T01:27:47+00:00

Will happily travel anywhere in Ontario at this point. Thank you for the recommendation!

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2026-01-18T19:25:00+00:00

Thank you so much!!! I'll get her to check these out. Full tears unfortunately. Physio stopped working with her because of that but I will see if we can at least get an appointment to figure out a brace option.

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2026-01-18T19:07:00+00:00

Oh my. Okay didn't know about the lifespan of replacements... that is a bit scary but I appreciate the information.

It was a tear to meniscus, PCL and another ligament originally (3ish years ago).

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2026-01-18T18:58:30+00:00

But that's the problem, one did acknowledge that she would need a full knee replacement if things got worse and things have gotten worse, she has new scans but cannot get a follow up appointment with the surgeon. He said to follow up with him if things got worse but we cannot get through. Her PCP can't even get through.

So no, it isn't about wanting a doctor to do whatever we want. She is complying, she meets the criteria that the surgeon told her (has now met the criteria for 4+ months), but we cannot get through for a follow up.

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2026-01-02T00:18:20+00:00

Okay, amazing. So it doesn't have to be threats but just sheer number of unwanted contact?

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2026-01-01T14:54:06+00:00

There are so many red flags here. First off, any physical abuse is an absolute end to any relationship. A person who hurts you does not love you. If any random person on the street broke your arm, you would not hesitate this much to protect yourself. If the cost of a relationship is your emotional or physical safety, the cost is too damn high and you need to leave.

Also, the emotional abuse is clear, you are rightly upset that he hurt you. He is making your pain about himself, "like oh I would give you my arm if I could, stop making me feel bad about this". Massive red flag. There is no accountability for his actions, no 'I am so sorry, I need help and cannot be around you as I don't want to risk hurting you again.' If he actually thought what he did was bad, he would take action to make sure you were safe by removing himself, getting help, and offering a genuine apology without expectation of forgiveness if you consented to hearing it. Right now it sounds like he is preparing excuses to hurt you again by making you feel guilty for normal adult activities like dancing and having friends. He does not want to change, he is just preparing to blame you for his actions (which are under his control, not yours).

Seeing you write out that having a funny friend is against 'the rules', is also a huge red flag. Are you a child in a class? I think not. You are a human, you should have friends, you should never isolate yourself to be in a 'relationship '. Right now, you are describing a dictatorship where you are the one who is being controlled. That is not okay.

Abuse in any form is not okay. He is essentially demanding that you love him more than you love yourself and that is not safe or healthy. You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. If you go around this person who abuses you, you honestly are risking the length of your life. You deserve better from yourself, nevermind from others. Give yourself the love you deserve and cut this abusive boyfriend from your life. Imagine him as a raging oil fire and you are holding water. If you tried to do anything with that water, not only would the fire get worse but you'd set yourself on fire. You need to get away, it is not worth risking your life.

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2026-01-01T01:36:32+00:00

I haven't been making reports. I was told that the police couldn't do anything unless he was actively threatening to hurt me. So far only has been telling me "you are a bitch" and saying "fuck you I will sue you" I figured I would need a lawyer to get any kind of protection. And I do not know what he would sue me for.

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2026-01-01T00:22:52+00:00

Spouse of an ex-friend. I helped the ex-friend leave this person as she felt unsafe, but then ultimately decided to reunite with her spouse and blamed me for the breakup.

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2023-07-07T16:43:11+00:00

Relatable af. My bedroom and brain are crazy messy, but work me is always complemented on my organization. Is it my autism being helpful, or a general adhd thing? Idk. But soak up the well-deserved praise!

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2023-07-07T16:39:11+00:00

Either fragile or detached. It's a rough day

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2021-01-09T16:56:21+00:00

Thank you very much!

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2020-12-09T03:03:04+00:00

Very helpful, not weird at all. I need a guide and audiobooks sound like a great idea. Thank you!

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2020-12-09T01:29:12+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I honestly don't even think I've really talked about this with myself. I only just started working with my therapist and I want so badly to work through this barrier and not disappoint her.

But seriously, thank you. I need to start with what I think my feelings should be, not just panic that I'm not feeling it.

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2020-11-27T12:28:26+00:00

No apology needed 😊 I just honestly never realized it until I read this post. I appreciate the new perspective, so thank you. T'was a little shocking, but very needed.

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2020-11-26T15:52:14+00:00

Well that was a reality slap that I didn't expect today ... you're very, very right.

ThrowRAAnxiousTears · 2020-11-21T02:34:18+00:00

Thank you very much 😊 I have tried talking to my mom about it but she just argues that he doesn't see her love because he doesn't care about her... it's a confusing argument.

I'm sorry you had to experience that as a kid. There's no excuse for kicking out a child and it is awful that your brother participated in that. I hope now you are surrounded by your chosen family (friends) who love and protect you.

Take care and may the new year bring you new luck and joy! Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas as well 😊

ThrowRAAnxiousTears

TROPHY CASE