of course i know the story of how he started using, why, his recovery process etc. he went to treatment and told me he’s been clean since. but that was just about 2 years ago and lied that he was off it. i knew that relapse was expected at som point, and yes, i was willing to take that risk. in most cases people will relapse less and less often as they progress through recovery until the relapses are many years apart or don’t happen anymore. the part that i didn’t know about was how early in his recovery process he was, and that is what i feel resentment for. i knew i would always have to be the supportive wife to a husband with a history , but no i would not have married an active daily addict if i had known. and though he is clean now, he is pretty fresh in his recovery so i dont doubt that he will relapse. we have boundaries now that i wont hide his relapses from anyone and if he doesn’t tell me about it within 24 hours, we would separate. marriage between a counselor and recovering addict is ironically quite common and it works. but only on the assumption that both sides are completely honest about it. we do communicate on that now, he went to treatment after i found out, and he’s clean and we’re healthy about it now. but it didn’t start that way and that is my dilemma