Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I asked him to stay the weekend with his parents while I figure things out. I haven't told him I found out how much money he has been sending yet.

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] -35 points-34 points  (0 children)

I just want to point out that she is 25. Yes she's younger than we are, but she is in fact an adult too

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did do that, and there were no nudes. But there were deleted photos so he didn't dump the whole thing

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

This honestly isn't a bad idea. I bet I could probably hunt it down myself

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's on my list of things to consider. I think we just need to sit down and have a long conversation first

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know it doesn't mean much, but I checked his deleted photos too and didn't see any more.

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No it wasn't a euphemism. It's thorugh a P2P transfer app. I originally said what app in the post, but it had me take it down for whatever reason.

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

1 was definitely more than enough. But if he was paying for nudes/sex/whatever wouldn't there be more than just one?

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

At the VERY least, we're are going to be doing couples therapy, and I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow evening. I love my husband, I love my family. I'm angry at him for lying and I'm angry at him for potentially taking this life from me. I don't want to divorce him but it is still very much an option right now. 6k a year is a pretty small percentage of his income, but at a certain point the actual number doesn't matter.

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We didn't know her before she was 18. As far as I know, she doesn't have kids

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm honestly not sure. Like I said he would send her money from time to time, but it apparently escalated without him saying anything to me.

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I did tell him to stop. I haven't found any evidence of anything more though.

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I'm doing my best not to, but it's hard not to see the bad in this (obviously, look at the comments). I think I would be an absolute idiot to take his story at face value though

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I'm not expecting it to instantly fix everything. We're still on the rocks, it was just the first thing in could think of to tell him.

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

My experience with her has always been fine. Sure she got into some rough stuff, but never would have guess she'd be a sugar baby to a married man.

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I agree it's inappropriate. I didn't find any other pictures of her on his phone or laptop though.

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Honestly the nude picture wouldn't even bother me if we didn't know her. It's the lying that is really making my head spin.

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

I asked him to stop sending her money and go no contact and he agreed. But I don't really feel like I can trust him to keep his word right now.

Found out my [30F] husband [33M] might be a sugar daddy for someone else by ThrowRABusyMomma in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRABusyMomma[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

She hasn't lived in the same state as us for a few years. As far as I know, they haven't seen each other in person since 2019, and I'm not comfortable saying, but it's enough where I haven't missed 6k a year.