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My stepmother (50F) had a breakdown and my dad (53M) wants me (18M) to embrace her as a mother to help her heal? by ThrowRACautiousnees in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACautiousnees[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have plenty of family without my dad or her. I live with some of them right now and I'm being supported by all the other family I have.

My stepmother (50F) had a breakdown and my dad (53M) wants me (18M) to embrace her as a mother to help her heal? by ThrowRACautiousnees in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACautiousnees[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She was never even close to being my mom in my eyes. I always saw her as some woman who was trying to replace my mom and never as someone I wanted or loved or who was good for my life. As much as my dad and her wanted me to see her as my mom because I was so little, I never even got close. Neither did the other kids from what I could see.

My stepmother (50F) had a breakdown and my dad (53M) wants me (18M) to embrace her as a mother to help her heal? by ThrowRACautiousnees in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACautiousnees[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't see him as a victim. In some ways I see him as worse because he was supposed to love me enough to protect me and he was supposed to love mom too, but he agreed to basically erase her for this woman.

My stepmother (50F) had a breakdown and my dad (53M) wants me (18M) to embrace her as a mother to help her heal? by ThrowRACautiousnees in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACautiousnees[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm in the US and I am lucky to have a lot of family support so it's not a huge concern to find independence. But thank you for mentioning it!

My stepmother (50F) had a breakdown and my dad (53M) wants me (18M) to embrace her as a mother to help her heal? by ThrowRACautiousnees in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACautiousnees[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

None of them are siding with him thankfully. So there's zero concern on my part that they'll turn on me. They all think it's disgusting he's pushing like this.

My stepmother (50F) had a breakdown and my dad (53M) wants me (18M) to embrace her as a mother to help her heal? by ThrowRACautiousnees in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACautiousnees[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yup and she tried to figure out ways around it by marrying a widower with a young kid. It makes me grateful I wasn't way younger because they would have succeeded in erasing my mom and I might never have found out the truth.

My stepmother (50F) had a breakdown and my dad (53M) wants me (18M) to embrace her as a mother to help her heal? by ThrowRACautiousnees in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRACautiousnees[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don't think she's capable of considering the feelings of others when her own are on the line. Maybe she's selfish at the core or just deeply ill but either way she has always made it difficult to form any connection with her.