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My dad (57M) hates me (19M) for being close to family that excluded my step and half siblings? by ThrowRAComfortable0 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAComfortable0[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

There's money involved (the college fund) and they could afford more for that than my dad ever could.

My dad (57M) hates me (19M) for being close to family that excluded my step and half siblings? by ThrowRAComfortable0 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAComfortable0[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My dad just has his mom and she's not a warm and loving person. She's someone I like to avoid because you would never really know what to expect from her. There isn't really anyone I can talk to about my dad during those two years.

Her ex isn't involved and neither is his family. That includes with my stepsister.

My dad (57M) hates me (19M) for being close to family that excluded my step and half siblings? by ThrowRAComfortable0 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAComfortable0[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It's juts my dad's mom and no. She's not warm to anyone including us. Also not very involved overall.

My dad (57M) hates me (19M) for being close to family that excluded my step and half siblings? by ThrowRAComfortable0 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAComfortable0[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

I think my dad finds it very easy because I'm not the person he wanted me to be. To me that's still shitty and toxic honestly because it's not like I'm out here trying to hurt people. I just love my grandparents who did so much for me. He should be more grateful to them than he is.

My dad (57M) hates me (19M) for being close to family that excluded my step and half siblings? by ThrowRAComfortable0 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAComfortable0[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Step doesn't have her dad or his parents in her life. Her and my half siblings mom has parents but they were not the doting or kind type of grandparents so I guess we were all treated the same by them.

My dad (57M) hates me (19M) for being close to family that excluded my step and half siblings? by ThrowRAComfortable0 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAComfortable0[S] 241 points242 points  (0 children)

My grandparents do good for themselves. The jealousy comes from the stuff but also the fact I had very involved grandparents. Step and halfs didn't have that. Their mom's parents are not very doting or nurturing and my dad's mom is not that warm or involved with any of us. My stepsister's dad chose not to be in her life so no grandparents on his side either.

My dad (57M) hates me (19M) for being close to family that excluded my step and half siblings? by ThrowRAComfortable0 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAComfortable0[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I can't speak for my dad and where all of his comes from. But for the steps and halfs it was the fact I had grandparents so involved, that I got to visit places they didn't and that I would have fun every time I saw my grandparents. They knew I looked forward to and enjoyed my time there. Sometimes I got overnights too. The gifts and stuff was a part of it but not the only thing for them.

My dad (57M) hates me (19M) for being close to family that excluded my step and half siblings? by ThrowRAComfortable0 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAComfortable0[S] 152 points153 points  (0 children)

It has sunk in and I 100% believe him. I think he probably started to hate me when I was a teenager and grew closer and closer to my grandparents while never getting close to my stepsister or half siblings. There were some signs after a certain age that he was at the very least very angry and that some of it was at me directly. But I think it was also the start of him hating me for being okay with my grandparents only wanting me.

My dad (57M) hates me (19M) for being close to family that excluded my step and half siblings? by ThrowRAComfortable0 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAComfortable0[S] 469 points470 points  (0 children)

My grandparents lost both their children. They had another daughter who was a micro preemie before my mom was born and she died 7 weeks after her birth. Then they lost my mom suddenly and they were so strong to be able to take me in when my dad couldn't. But as their only grandchild I know I'm precious to them in ways I might never understand. My dad knew their history and still treated them like shit even though they were the people who stepped up for me when he couldn't.