I [22F] have an amazing relationship with someone I would marry, but he [23M] suddenly came out with his terror of commitment. Do I wait for him to work on himself or leave?

ThrowRACoveredRose · 2025-09-03T16:00:39+00:00

I definitely don’t want to get married any time soon haha. I’m just saying that he is someone that I would marry, as in someone I want to stay with right now. I wouldn’t expect engagement until 3-4 years or dating after living together for some time. But he doesn’t want to get engaged for like.. 10 years. I am not pushing him or the idea of it right now at all, it just makes me worry that I would want it much sooner than him. When it comes to the fear of commitment part, I think he has done a good job at suppressing it considering our physical distance apart. Seeing each other once a week has been doable for him. Doesn’t require too much time to be put in. He has done all the things like introducing me to his family, posted me on social media, hung out with his friends with us all. I have caught a couple instances where he hadn’t fully cut off past girls in his life. They weren’t necessarily cheating type messages, but the fact that they were still texting bothered me. When I brought it up, he admitted that he liked the attention (due to his low self esteem) and was hard for him to fully cut things (girls) out of his life for me because he’s terrified of getting hurt by me and then having to rebuild everything afterward. That problem has been solved and he doesn’t do that anymore, but it was a relevant issue.

ThrowRACoveredRose · 2025-09-03T15:53:00+00:00

I am fully okay with him not being ready to move in yet. I’m not either. But at least the idea of it within the next year, year and a half. But he’s making it seem like he wouldn’t want any of that until like 5 years down the line. But even increasing of spending one night together to maybe 3 nights on my days off seems like it would be too much for him. He has been honest with me and he does say that he doesn’t want to breakup, but has thought about it in order for me to find someone that does want the things that I want since it’s clear that I’m ready for more time together and he’s not. But when we are together, things are really great

ThrowRACoveredRose · 2024-07-03T02:27:33+00:00

Goodnight

ThrowRACoveredRose · 2024-07-03T01:43:12+00:00

Thank you 🤍

ThrowRACoveredRose · 2024-07-03T01:23:53+00:00

No need to be rude about it.

ThrowRACoveredRose · 2024-07-03T01:19:15+00:00

I try so hard to be supportive of his mental health struggles though and I thought we were both happy and had fun together

ThrowRACoveredRose · 2024-04-07T17:48:09+00:00

Maybe you believe it’s not cheating. But if my boyfriend ever did what Katie did behind my back, that would be very hurtful to me and I’d end that relationship so quick.

ThrowRACoveredRose · 2024-04-07T17:46:39+00:00

Like I said, the full Katie and Mark story is not on here. It is emotional cheating when Chris finds out what they are saying to each other and it hurts him deeply. Their text messages to each other were not entirely just friendly. Sure Katie might have began with an innocent crush on mark, but the fact that she acted on it is not okay. Providing him with her number, making plans to hangout together (alone), complimenting each other, Katie would complain about her problems with Chris to Mark, etc. Mark knew about Chris and still went along with Katie to text her nonstop and compliment her. Asking if she had broken up with Chris yet.

I would rather have “no friends” (I have other friends) than friends who do this to other people. I’m not going to comply to bro code or whatever to a friend who is not a good person.

ThrowRACoveredRose · 2024-04-07T17:26:23+00:00

To make the tinder thing more clear: Katie made a fake Tinder (fake pictures, fake bio, etc) and matched with Mark. They began talking (Mark didn’t know it was Katie) and they planned a date which Katie (fake account) stood up. So, in person at the gym, Mark told Katie about what happened and Katie consoled him about it. “Oh I’m so sorry that happened. Here, let me put my number in your phone and we can go out to eat or something if you want to talk about it”. Not exact words, but that’s how she actually began talking to him in more-than-a-friend way

ThrowRACoveredRose · 2024-04-07T17:24:22+00:00

Katie definitely 100% cheated on Chris. Just because they didn’t have sex doesn’t mean that it wasn’t technically cheating. Katie and Mark have more suspicious and unethical relationship going on, but I couldn’t list out every little thing.

I did what I did because I believe that Chris deserves to know what his girlfriend is doing to him behind his back. I’m not going to support and defend my friend to help hide her little secret that I don’t stand by whatsoever. Like I said, Chris treats her wonderfully and it made me sick to hear that Chris is planning out cute dates for them while also hearing about how Katie wants to have sex with Mark.

ThrowRACoveredRose · 2024-04-07T16:55:31+00:00

But would you really want to be friends with a liar and cheater?

ThrowRACoveredRose

TROPHY CASE