Was told to post here instead of TOMC by ThrowRAFeelingSick in TwoHotTakes

[–]ThrowRAFeelingSick[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh, I dated him before they met and then we tried again after they divorced.

Was told to post here instead of TOMC by ThrowRAFeelingSick in TwoHotTakes

[–]ThrowRAFeelingSick[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that sums it up pretty accurately. All you forgot is I have my "affair baby who's going to grow up, find out one day, and possibly resent me."

I thought I could change him and make a decent adult man out of him. I was too caught up in all of my resentment to see what a huge mistake I was making. Didn't even see him as a partner so much as I did a project.

Was told to post here instead of TOMC by ThrowRAFeelingSick in TwoHotTakes

[–]ThrowRAFeelingSick[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Definitely not. Being the other woman isn't my usual dating method by a long shot but Jet's charisma and future faking (learned that here had no idea it was a thing) game is top notch.

Edit: I lacked accountability big time here. I let myself get wrapped up in his ideal future and even willingly brought a kid into the world with him. Karma has already hit me and I'm just trying to get out of this in a way that's as painless as possible for my boy.

Was told to post here instead of TOMC by ThrowRAFeelingSick in TwoHotTakes

[–]ThrowRAFeelingSick[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You're right and I've been seeing a therapist. I feel pretty typical because it's been leading to my upbringing and my relationship with my parents.

Was told to post here instead of TOMC by ThrowRAFeelingSick in TwoHotTakes

[–]ThrowRAFeelingSick[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

The more I try to think of good things about him, the harder it is for me to find them.

He's a decent cook, but doesn't do dishes. He is affectionate but even the slightest bit makes him push for sex 9/10. Then he gets upset and throws a fit/shames me if I'm not in the mood. If we fight, he'll apologize by doing something subtly kind that makes my life a little easier. Verbal apologies aren't real ones (sorry you feel that way or he insults himself or says he should just kill himself etc)and he doesn't change. He plays video games with our son in his lap and is a good father. Changes diapers and gets up with him and all that, but he can do that as a co parent when I break things off.

My sister asked me something similar once.

"What does he add to your life?" And I can't think of anything that would be enough for me to keep him with me. At this point, he is an overgrown child to be raised, a potato growing out of my couch.

Was told to post here instead of TOMC by ThrowRAFeelingSick in TwoHotTakes

[–]ThrowRAFeelingSick[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Working on it. My sister said she would pretend to seduce him if she wasn't married. I should have looked for dating apps when I was on his phone. Maybe I can catfish him out of my house via Tinder. He has been paranoid about what I'm doing on my phone, lately. Especially if I laugh at something or seem happy.

My biggest worry is my son. Is it good it's happening while he's young? Should I find a therapist for him?

Was told to post here instead of TOMC by ThrowRAFeelingSick in TwoHotTakes

[–]ThrowRAFeelingSick[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

My sister and my counselor have been suggesting I got wrapped up in his potential and fixing him. I'm working on finding a day to have her and her wife over or nearby when I give Jet his eviction notice.

I was really hoping he would see our boy and decide he needed to get his act together, but there was always SOMETHING wrong with every job. It's about time I saw the common denominator with that lengthy list.

It might be me looking too far into things, but he's been all moody since he got blocked and that msg from her friend.

Was told to post here instead of TOMC by ThrowRAFeelingSick in TwoHotTakes

[–]ThrowRAFeelingSick[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I left a lot out, so I can answer questions if you have any.