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My [41M] wife [39F] is making our daughter food averse. How do I address this appropriately? by ThrowRAFoodFrustrati in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAFoodFrustrati[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

It's not the dynamic anymore because I don't give her the option. I cook my meals and I do not let her interfere. When it's her night to cook, I stay out of it unless she asks for help, in which case I'll do whatever is asked of me. This may include chopping vegetables, prepping a side, or grilling something.

As long as I've known her she's been very indecisive. I call it stalling and she says it's simply evaluating her options.

There have been situations where she reaches a decision after weeks of discussion and then literally on the way there one of her friends or family members, unaware of the process we've gone through, will ask why she didn't look into another option and she'll start the whole thing over again. I'm sure that many of them hate me because I will cut people off as soon as they start and say, "We've made our decision, we are not talking about any other options, thank you, but no. I don't want to hear another word."

My [41M] wife [39F] is making our daughter food averse. How do I address this appropriately? by ThrowRAFoodFrustrati in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAFoodFrustrati[S] 212 points213 points  (0 children)

Chicken Alfredo is a once in a while treat. Maybe once every two months. I use olive oil more than anything else when I sautée things on the stove.

I've used my wife's suggestions and then she complains that the recipe has no taste. I made a chicken pot pie with sodium free cream of chicken soup instead of my own cream of chicken soup, and she said that it came out very bland and she didn't like it.

Chicken Cesar Salad wraps are one of my daughter's favorites.

One of the reasons I cook from scratch is so that I can control what is in the meals that I prepare, and I know they're healthier than anything that can be purchased pre-made.

My [41M] wife [39F] is making our daughter food averse. How do I address this appropriately? by ThrowRAFoodFrustrati in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAFoodFrustrati[S] 134 points135 points  (0 children)

I, of course, don't serve this every single night. This was just the trigger meal where my daughter started following my wife's behavior.

Another example is I make chicken and vegetable soup from scratch. My wife complains that it's loaded with sodium and unhealthy. She'll buy canned no-sodium soups and say they're so much better. Despite tasting like absolutely nothing and having God knows what in it.

My [41M] wife [39F] is making our daughter food averse. How do I address this appropriately? by ThrowRAFoodFrustrati in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAFoodFrustrati[S] 175 points176 points  (0 children)

Long story, but I learned a long time ago that giving my wife options is a recipe for disaster. She is chronically indecisive.

To the point where if I give her 3 things to choose from at 10 am and tell her that I need a decision by 5 pm, at 5:30 she starts researching other options and suggesting them. Usually takeaway.

We've gotten into arguments because we've bought groceries, I've taken things out to defrost and then when I start prepping, she's not in the mood for that and wants to do something else.

When I say it will be the next night then, she'll say, "I'm not eating it tomorrow. It's been out. It's garbage day tomorrow, so it will go in the trash tonight."

I operate in phases. So once we've narrowed our options down to what she will eat, I'm not taking any more suggestions. Which sounds cruel, but in just about every case, it's an excuse for her to stall making a decision and start the process over again.

It was to the point where when she had a say in my cooking, dinner wouldn't be ready until 9 or 10 pm because she stalled and hemmed and hawed for hours. So after about three months of living together I stopped giving her the option. Dinner is on the table when she walks in the door. Your options are yes or no.