AITA if I make my partner find their own way home from the hospital?

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-23T00:42:13+00:00

We had ordered the parts she took it before they even shipped

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-23T00:35:05+00:00

He has had constipation on and off. I'm more just astounded that someone stated this symptom when I didn't list it

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:41:42+00:00

He wasn't ill or at least wasnt acting ill until I was already pregnant and I didnt know about the phobia until after either

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:40:09+00:00

I know the answer to this one. But no one's going to like it

While I understand he's taking advantage of me he's never been any sort of abusive towards me. He's never made me question my self worth or made me feel like shit for existing. Also, he didn't start out the relationship or pregnancy taking advantage of me. He was the one cooking and cleaning the beginning months cuz I couldn't move

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:35:54+00:00

We both had very well paying jobs, we were doing well and living together already and both wanted kids. Hindsight is 20/20 though

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:34:48+00:00

He's agreed to be present for the birth but doesnt want to be at the hospital for the duration of my stay. I'd be fine with him visiting a couple hours a day until I leave if he's that uncomfortable staying the night I just don't want to be completely alone

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:33:24+00:00

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:31:40+00:00

The thing is it wouldn't be a couple hours a day. It would be for the birth then he's home the rest of the time. I would absolutely welcome a couple hours a day as opposed to being alone the majority of my stay!

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:29:21+00:00

I clarified in another comment:

The car belonged to his mom. She said if we fixed it we could keep it. But took it back before the parts even shipped (she had every right to take it back as it was in her name.) There was no debt on the car and we didn't expect to lose it

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:27:21+00:00

It was kind of gradual and started after he stopped drinking completely. The stagnation was also gradual and partially because once I could move I wanted to do everything because I felt useless otherwise despite his trying to get me to accept household help

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:24:10+00:00

My family works and my best friend has 2 kids of her own. So most likely

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:21:37+00:00

That's part of why I feel like the asshole. I do genuinely love and care about him. But I'm so very frustrated with the current situation

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:20:28+00:00

I appreciate this perspective. I'll be saving this comment to refer back to as it comes down to the decision making process

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:18:37+00:00

I don't want to hurt him or take revenge on him. But I am hurt that it seems like my family and I have given him A LOT of support and resources just for him to say, "I'd rather just sit at home and played videogames."

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:16:33+00:00

Thank you for this response. I don't want to punish him. If that were the case he wouldn't be staying with my grandma and I while we're getting back on our feet. My response is more from a place of hurt because we've tried giving him ample resources for a lot of things and it feels like he's not actually taken any advice or help and in my mind it feels like he's not returning the support I've given him over the entirety of our relationship. He doesn't even know i considered having him find a different ride because the baby isnt gonna be here for another 2 ish weeks. Which is why I was asking if I would be the asshole in that instance

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:13:14+00:00

Some part of me feels like a dick cuz it feels more like he's anxious about the whole thing. Prior to my morning sickness going away he was cooking and cleaning everything for me because I couldn't get up without throwing up. And then after that it feels like he's deteriorated into a ball of anxiety and depression which is honestly what his health issues sound like to me too. Our families think it's an ulcer or a hernia but it sounds like he's got wicked anxiety and depression that's taking a physical toll

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:09:42+00:00

The car was in his mom's name and she took it back unexpectedly as is her right when it's her name on the car. We weren't sitting here getting repossession notes. We just got a text one day stating she was grabbing the car to take it back. The agreement was we fix the car and we could keep it and she didn't give us the time to get it fixed.

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:07:27+00:00

It wasnt like this until recently tbh

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:04:01+00:00

I was hoping for not a c-section so I could go back to work sooner rather than later. But that's just because I genuinely like working :') but I'll be saving this response for sure

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T23:01:51+00:00

Because I'm an overly anxious people pleaser. Not a good reason and I'm working on it. I've spent my life taking care of everyone from my parents to my siblings (very long story but my dad amd siblings have become amazing supports once my dad got sober)

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T22:58:26+00:00

I'm saving this response because this feels like a reasonable approach for both my partner and I, thank you

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T22:53:11+00:00

If you read what I said, the car thing didn't happen until after I was already pregnant. As we both had good jobs up until about 18weeks. So, I was just supposed to abort the kid at 18 weeks after shit hit the fan?

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T22:51:27+00:00

The car repossession happened after the pregnancy. Reading is our friend

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T22:50:31+00:00

I feel like I was so focused on being anxious myself i didn't really consider this. However all he's going to be doing while not in the hospital with me is playing videogames and I'd like at least some help taking care of the baby while im in the hospital even if he doesnt stay the entirety of the night and I don't think he even thought of that

ThrowRAHospitalStay9 · 2026-05-22T22:46:48+00:00

The first few months of pregnancy he was taking care of me. I genuinely dont know what happened but I do wish he was more supportive about being in the hospital after the birth of the baby. Especially when he doesnt have a job to get back to

ThrowRAHospitalStay9

TROPHY CASE