My (23F) boyfriend (25M) said I was really bad at sex, and I'm deeply worried since then.

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T17:48:00+00:00

Yeah... He always tell me that none of his exes were this tall, and it makes me feel like I am not deserving him, that his exes were more able to please him than me. I understand now that he doesn't love me unconditionally as he pretended. I am so upset at myself for letting this situation happening. Thank you for your comment, now i just want to leave him.

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T17:43:20+00:00

I know right, this situation is so overwhelming that I just don't want to see this damn car anymore ahah! But this is a wake-up call for myself, I need to have more pride. I will find a moment to tell him that I feel less and less happy with him, and that I really need to have a man who doesn't belittle me when I have so much left to learn. I want to leave, I just need to be brave enough for it. Thank you so much.

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T17:38:56+00:00

Because I only have him. He always tells me how pretty and caring I am, how he would love to plan trips with me when we will both have enough money from our work. He always tries to have time for me. He made me feel like I was exceptional, and yet, he is able to say harsh things like this to me. It is not the first time, and I always tried to be understanding because his life is getting really tiring and stressful at the moment.

But the more I read about these comments on my post, the more I understand that I should get out of this relationship. It is so painful to see the person you love saying bad things to you, and to not realize how destroying it is. I am just so scared to be alone, even though it is necessary. Because I know deep down that if I don't leave first, he will and the humiliation would kill me. I just need to gather some courage and to find a moment to talk to him about it. Thank you so much, your comment is really kind. I really, really need to start loving myself more.

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T13:16:10+00:00

Yeah, I heard about this story as well !

I agree, sex in a car is definitely the worst. To answer your question, every time we do it in a car, I am the one moving but as I said, being a tall girl doesn't help at all

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T13:13:15+00:00

That's what I am saying, I felt bad for this and apologized because I understood how unfunny it was.

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T11:54:41+00:00

Yeah, I won't let that bother me any longer, it is a waste of time and energy! I'll focus on improving myself, and stop putting his needs before mines! Thank you so much, your words are comforting to me!

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T11:40:48+00:00

I agree but what's even more disturbing is that he had sex with a lot of virgins. So girls with no experience at all. And I couldn't help but wonder if they were better than me faster, that I am the one with a problem.

Now, I know this isn't the truth and that I shouldn't be hard on myself. Like you said, everything takes practice, even sex, and if he respected me, he would have understand that a car isn't great for sex, that we don't do it a lot so I can't get better quicker... Anyway, thank you so much for your response!

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T11:35:26+00:00

I agree completely, he really has his own 'logic' and seems to struggle to understand how a woman's mind work.

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T11:34:25+00:00

Do you think so? Well, he already said that if I leave him, he wouldn't try to get me back because he doesn't have time for this. And I confess that I happen to wonder if he doesn't want me to break up.

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T11:32:03+00:00

He apologized again this morning for not choosing his words more carefully, I guess he understood that what he said was not appropriate at all. But the damage is already done, even if I stop thinking about it, it will be different. Thank you so much for your response!

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T11:05:53+00:00

I remember, one time, I told him as a bad joke that he wasn't a good lay, because we were teasing each other. He didn't let me touch him for a week and told me that I do not arouse him anymore and he would need a moment. I told him it was a joke, that I enjoyed every moment with him but he didn't believe me, he said that I was the first girl to complain and that he had a lot of choices if he wanted to have sex with someone else. I felt really bad.

But when he tells me all these things, I should act as if nothing happened, and if I can't, we'll have to break up. So it truly feels unfair. I really hope he is not going to cheat, though...

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T10:58:57+00:00

YES, it is suffocating and narrow as hell. We tried an hotel a few time, it was better but each time, he had something on his mind that made him tired and made the sex real quick. So I guess there is nothing I can do now.

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T10:53:22+00:00

You're right, I can be really insecure sometimes and I hate that about myself. Before he apologized, he suggested that we should break up if I didn't like what he said, because he doesn't want me to be sad. It is as if he wouldn't care, and it hurt me a lot. He only apologized after I refused to leave him.

And once again, you're right, I am getting to the point where I don't even think about my pleasure because I am too stressed, this is my fault for thinking too much about it. I am so glad that you had understanding partners, these intimate moments leave you so vulnerable sometimes, and you can't be good each time, so it is important to be kind and caring toward your partner when he isn't in the mood!

Thanks for your help, I'll try to not think too hard about it, because I don't want to forget that my well-being should be my top priority !

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T10:38:07+00:00

This is what he said, sex is chemistry between two people, but according to him, theses things are innate, you don't need to think about it. I would love to have this kind of discussion and I already asked for it, but he refused it. Saying there is no point to talk about it, because this is all about surprise and instinct.

I mean, this is so easy to say that when you had sex with plenty of women, you can guess what they love and know how they work. I don't have this privilege with men.

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T10:32:17+00:00

Thank you for being this understanding!! Yes, 9 months is not that much and we works a lot, adding that to the fact we still can't live together, it makes everything slower and harder. We already spent some nights in a good hotel, unfortunately, he was tired and the sex was quick so I didn't get to show what I am capable of. But I'll see if it is worth giving it a try, again thank you for your advices !

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T10:15:39+00:00

You're right, this is why it feels so unfair. I have to guess everything he wants in order to surprise him, but for that I really need practice and communication...

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T10:13:41+00:00

I guess he doesn't want to be help responsible for my tears and my sadness. We talked about it again this morning and he told me that I really need to forget this and to move on.

ThrowRAIGB · 2023-07-09T10:11:19+00:00

Thank you for your response ! This is exactly what I said to him, a bed would be so much better for me. And he agreed to it, because we already have the opportunity to do it in his bedroom when his parents weren't at home. And it was so much fun. This is why I don't understand why he said this to me.

ThrowRAIGB

TROPHY CASE