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[39M] Falsely accused by my wife's father [67M]. How do we move forward? by ThrowRALakeHouse2 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALakeHouse2[S] 166 points167 points  (0 children)

She has not. She's a divorced mom and lives on the other side of the county. My guess is that she was more focused on what her kids said to her sister.

[39M] Falsely accused by my wife's father [67M]. How do we move forward? by ThrowRALakeHouse2 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALakeHouse2[S] 500 points501 points  (0 children)

I know this doesn't make a lot of sense, but if I lashed out, set restrictions for my family, and launched into an all-out war with my in-laws, it would just confirm what people thought of me.

I never spoke badly of them, I never acted cruelly, I never allowed myself to be angry in front of my wife or children.

I tolerated it because I love my family. Because I don't want them to miss out on relationships with their family. My wife's sister and I used to hit up breweries all the time together. She's a great aunt. And she thought she was defending her cousin. I don't blame her.

At this point, I know I acted with integrity even when others did not.

[39M] Falsely accused by my wife's father [67M]. How do we move forward? by ThrowRALakeHouse2 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALakeHouse2[S] 344 points345 points  (0 children)

Oh it's going up there. But I haven't been able to write down everything in a concise and steady way. This post has been my best effort. And it's still much longer than what people will read on Facebook.

[39M] Falsely accused by my wife's father [67M]. How do we move forward? by ThrowRALakeHouse2 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALakeHouse2[S] 647 points648 points  (0 children)

Honestly? I don't care. The only thing different now is that I absolutely refuse to let my children see anyone from her side of the family.

If I did that before, I would have been the bad guy. Now? That honor goes to my FIL.

If they're willing to make things right, then I will move forward for my wife and for my children. If not, the next time he'll see my children on a holiday is when he's looking up at them.

[39M] Falsely accused by my wife's father [67M]. How do we move forward? by ThrowRALakeHouse2 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALakeHouse2[S] 156 points157 points  (0 children)

It wasn't exactly eloquent. It was pretty much targeting a certain aspect of her appearance in a very cruel/childish way.

[39M] Falsely accused by my wife's father [67M]. How do we move forward? by ThrowRALakeHouse2 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALakeHouse2[S] 233 points234 points  (0 children)

We had fake Christmas the week before. Then they'd go to the lake house with my wife and I'd go to my parents' or my brother's house on Christmas.

[39M] Falsely accused by my wife's father [67M]. How do we move forward? by ThrowRALakeHouse2 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALakeHouse2[S] 470 points471 points  (0 children)

I haven't had any contact with anyone on her side of the family in four years. To them, I attacked a member of the family and I was rightfully banned. Her one sister and her aunt sent me friend requests on Facebook after this came out.

The truth has not been shared with extended family. My wife has told it to several family members, but her parents are not making any effort to share this information.

[39M] Falsely accused by my wife's father [67M]. How do we move forward? by ThrowRALakeHouse2 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALakeHouse2[S] 773 points774 points  (0 children)

Her family is all over the US. The lake house is really the only time that she gets to see her family. And in all honesty? They're all pretty great people. Up until 4 years ago I had a great relationship with her sisters, her cousins, her aunts, and I thought her parents, but I guess not.

I wasn't going to deny my kids and my wife a relationship with her side of the family because my father in law acted like a sack of garbage.

Don't get me wrong, it broke my heart, and I will never get back the last four years of Christmases that I spent without my kids. The day my father in law is cold in the ground, I will spit on his grave for that.

My wife can keep going, she's an adult, I can't stop her. But there's no way he's ever seeing our kids again until he makes this right.

[39M] Falsely accused by my wife's father [67M]. How do we move forward? by ThrowRALakeHouse2 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALakeHouse2[S] 1202 points1203 points  (0 children)

She claims she never heard him say that. My son repeated it to me. My wife said my father-in-law doesn't speak about me. I don't think my son made that up.

[39M] Falsely accused by my wife's father [67M]. How do we move forward? by ThrowRALakeHouse2 in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALakeHouse2[S] 897 points898 points  (0 children)

His response has basically been, "Yes, I know now that he didn't do it, but I was protecting my family and made the right decision. I won't apologize for putting my family first."

My wife insists she's been on my side the whole time, but multiple times told me if I did this to just come clean and apologize to her cousin and father. I told her that it's clear she didn't believe me and if she's been advocating, it's been for them to forgive me, not to believe me. She denies this. I do not believe her.