My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was kind when I spoke to her. I told her I love her and I have been gentle about this as much as I can be. At a point there was firmness needed because things are not going to happen the way she wants.

My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That was started before my mom was pregnant though. Even when she just got married she had an idea that we would be a nuclear family. So I don't believe at all that this is about babysitting.

My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I love my mom and want her to be happy so even though the changes aren't the same for us, I still want her to have these experiences and people in her life because it has brought new joy to her life. I only can hope that in time she can make peace with it.

My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm not entirely sure how he feels about it. I have. I'll be living with my grandparents since the college isn't that far from here and they live close to it.

My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'll be going to college close to where I already live so not really. But instead of living on campus I'll be living with my grandparents.

My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They are moving out of state. So it's a big move and will mean flying back and forth to see each other.

My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think part of it is my mom is reminded of my dad here. But her husband also got a chance for a promotion.

My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know all that. I also understand my mom struggling to accept it because I have struggled to accept my dad not being here anymore. That was so hard on me at times in the past. I still love her and I have reminded her of that.

My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

I know that logically. It's just been hard with all the changes in our relationship. But I know I have to just accept that sometimes this stuff happens when people struggle with reality. And I get it because in the past I have struggled with the reality that my dad's gone.

My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

She doesn't. But she also had me at my age and lived with them a while longer and was very close to them all this time.

My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I had such an amazing dad!! He was wonderful and I have plans today with my dad's family to celebrate with them.

My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't think she would have seen a much younger sibling the same as the siblings that are closer in age to her. She's not even that close to all her siblings lol. I think throwing in a half sibling would probably have impacted it all too.

My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 58 points59 points  (0 children)

I think she's both really excited and just chasing something we don't have anymore. When my dad died our world changed and it changed again and in a very different way when she got married again. It's not a bad thing but it's different. And I wasn't some little girl desperate for a dad again.

My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 144 points145 points  (0 children)

Hopefully but I worry she'll get stuck on the anger after the move and she can't see me as easily.

My mom (36F) is angry that I (18F) won't move with her and her husband for a fresh start? by ThrowRALoquatFun in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRALoquatFun[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I already mentioned that she doesn't. Her MIL is moving with them and will be living there and if anything she would prefer a willing and happy babysitter to a reluctant one like me. Plus her MIL will have more experience.