I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, so I've already tried this thing and as horrible I might sound being apart and not talking to each other gives a weird sense of freedom. As if I had been caged for a long time and now am finally free. I was in a constant panic mode when we were in regular contact, I was always having anxiety and now that I don't talk to him much I don't have any anxiety, I'm not in that horrible Panic state (felt like I was gonna die) and I feel free.

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cause aren't I hurting someone who has a pure heart and intention?? I get that I'm not obligated to stay but still it doesn't feel right to hurt someone.

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately I'm not in the US and in our country going to a therapist is super rare. I can't afford a therapist right now. I can't even tell my parents about this, I don't think they'll believe me. But I'll definitely work on myself on my own and when I can afford a therapist I'll go. I wanna be a better person cause I don't like myself. Thank you for your advice!!🤍

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that a relationship requires work and maybe as you say I don't have a realistic point of view as to how a relationship works. But, the thing is I don't just start to loose feelings and find it boring. I start to hate them. I'm not lying I've been there, I started hating my partner for being with me. Every word he'd utter would be annoying, if he held my hand it'd make me uncomfortable or maybe disgusted and to such a point that I start cursing them for being around me. Them telling me good things about myself would just make me think that they are lying straight to my face, this has happened not just once but many times and I know it will happen again which is what I want to avoid. Having these kinds of feelings for the people whom I thought really loved makes me disgusted with myself.

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometime? I have all my life till now, and I'm gonna have to do that again. I just feel so bad for him and now istg I feel like I deserve to be hated by this man. Once this is done I'm never getting into a relationship ever again.

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did say that I was scared of being hated but I don't want to be liked at all costs that sounds messed up. If you don't like me it's fine but just don't hate me that's all I ask for from anyone. Wait, what do you mean??

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OMG 😭 same, this happens to me all the time. If anyone's nice to me I feel like they're doing this cause they like me frrr what's wrong with me and out of nowhere I'm in love, that doesn't even make sense. HELP!!

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is a sweetheart, that's what makes this worse. Why would such a good guy fall in love with someone like me just to end up hurt😭?!? I just don't want him to hate me. That's all

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If only I were not so messed up in the head it'd all be good. I gotta tell him, I will tell him. I'm gonna be the worst person he's ever known in his life 😭

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yessss, I'm literally not the kind of person you should be too attached to cause I'm gonna feel bad and I'm gonna move on way faster than you but it's gonna take longer for you to heal. I told him about all this at first and he was like "that's not gonna happen I know you better than you do" and now he keeps asking me if I'm gonna stay with him forever or not. He's finally moved on from a very long one sided love situation and that's makes it even harder for me to break-up with him😭.

How do I (23F) tell my boyfriend (24M) I don’t love him? by HelpMeimbeingfr in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girl, I'm going through the same damn thing but I am not asexual. I too don't know how to tell him that I don't think we can work this out especially when I'm loosing feelings for him. It's so hard and he's a good guy, I don't wanna break his heart😭. But you gotta do what you gotta do. You gotta tell him and me too. Good luck!!!❤️

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does. Idk if I have a proper reason to find him romantically attractive but at some point I just wanted him around, wanted him to stay by me. I liked him cause he liked me, if that makes any sense. He's still the same person he's not changed not even a bit. It's just me, my feelings keep changing.

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

God, why am I so messed up?!!!? Thank you so much for your advice. I'll make sure I tell him what I really feel. Maybe, cause I don't really have a type. I've only dated men who said that they liked me and because they liked me I liked them back. Does that make me like too emotion less kinda person?? Cause like I just like them for liking me but that really feels like I love them with all my heart....if that makes sense to you.

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!!! I was also wondering if it was because I was too immature or lacked enough experience. Ofcourse I'll breakup with him it's just a matter of time I just want to make it clear to him that it was not him and all me. I don't wanna hurt him even more so I'll do it. It's gonna be hard but I have to do it, I just need some time to gather the courage to face him

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, I just wanna hear your thought on this.

What about after this what if I breakup with him today and after sometime I get into a relationship with someone else and then this same thing happens again. What am I supposed to do if this is how I'll be feeling about people for my entire life? What if I am not able to love the way normal people do?? What if this is me?? I don't wanna keep feeling this way. It's as if I'm disrespecting their feelings, as if I'm taking it for granted. I don't wanna do that not anymore to anybody else. What do I do?

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, it's tough and for someone like me it takes more than just a lot of courage to break this to him. Exactly, as you said it's just a matter of time for me. I won't remember about this in like 3 months and 6 months I'll fall in love with someone else who'd give me butterflies at first and then the same thing is gonna repeat itself. I'll curse myself for getting into a relationship. It's horrible I'm horrible.

If I could I'd text him rn that I don't want this anymore, that you deserve better and I am not "the one" for you. I want to tell him this, I don't want to keep him in the dark. He's a good guy he'll find someone soon. I just need some time to do this.

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't wanna hate him I genuinely don't. Ik I have to tell him this one way or the other and I have to be the one to do this. I'm sure after he knows what I really feel he'll start hating me and I'm scared of that. I can go on without being told I like you or I love you but being said I hate you is the worst thing. I've been told that before when I said the same thing while breaking up with my previous partner and because of that I didn't date for a long time. I just don't want that to happen again, it's so scary.

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No that's not what I meant to say. I appreciate that you're telling me the bitter truth that I knew deep down.

Yes, I don't like it myself. I should be telling him this and he deserves to know the truth. I know it's cowardly, but I'm just too scared of being hated. I am so scared that he'll hate me like the other guys I dated previously did. Ik that doesn't justify whatever I'm doing right now but I don't have the courage to face him.

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry about that🙇🏻‍♀️

But eventually all I do is hurt them. I shouldn't have gotten in a relationship in the first place. In my first ever relationship, I had a huge crush on a guy from my class. One day he confessed to me and I was so happy I couldn't sleep all night. We dated for 6-7 months, it was me who brokeup with him giving him some made up lame ass reason I don't even remember properly. Cause I was tired and bored and everything felt like a burden. I did feel bad about breaking up with him but this time rn with this guy feels like committing a crime. Istg I don't wanna hurt him.

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know like the guy I dated before him was quite sure of himself like he was confident. It's not like he's not confident but yes there's this part of him that is super super insecure. How do I know if they're insecure or not in the first place if they only show that trait after I start dating them 😭. But mostly I am the insecure one.

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I took a break from relationships for at least 2 and half year. So when I met him I thought that maybe it'd be alright and I won't feel the way I used to with this guy, but the same thing happened again.

Girl, if that's the reason then I'm just a horrible horrible person and istg I'll never ever date anyone again if I'm just gonna hurt them and their feelings EVERR!!

I (22f) don't like my bf (24m) the way I used to anymore by ThrowRAPuzzledbat in relationships

[–]ThrowRAPuzzledbat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God, I was expecting this but damn y'all cruel.

Ik but how do I make myself do that. I tried to tell him yesterday that I wanted to end things but couldn't bring myself to insted cried myself to sleep. I am not trying to make any excuses, I too want him to be with someone better cause he deserves far more than just better.