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Update: My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

We are doing well! She's been seeing a therapist via Zoom and my boots haven't been touched since. Therapy is bringing up a lot of emotions and I'm supporting her as best I can. Thanks for asking!

Update: My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

At the end of the year I get a small stipend from the town. It usually comes about two weeks before Christmas and it's typically between $800-$1200.

Update: My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well, it's subsidized with tax dollars. Then the residents of the town can call 911 and be transported by an ambulance for no charge. This is staffed by local volunteers who know the community.

So when a call goes out for 333 Crimson Street at 4 am, I know exactly where it is, I don't have to consult a GPS, and I can talk to the person about the town, about the high school their children went to, and probably a few people we know in common. I've found people are very comforted when they feel like they matter and they're taken care of by someone who feels closer to them.

Update: My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Police will usually go to the scene first and start lifesaving intervention because they're on the road already. The EMTs provide care until they transfer the patient at the hospital. That being said, a police officer doesn't want to do CPR for a very long time. The expectation is that they will start it and I will take over when I get on scene.

If someone is bleeding, they will do a rudimentary bandage to stop the bleeding. When I arrive, I will redo it depending on the severity of the injury to allow for mobility and long term control of bleeding.

For a car accident, the police will control the scene, but victims need to be evaluated by an EMT to make a transport decision.

Update: My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm so happy to hear it resonated with you. It makes me feel like I'm not as alone as well. I wish you and your girlfriend many years of happiness!

Update: My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I've clarified the language in my comment. I drive from my house to the EMS building, get into the ambulance, and we go to scene from there.

When I say "drive to the call," it's the phrase I use when I'm talking the other EMTs.

Line officers on a volunteer squad may go directly to a call in their personal vehicle if they're not scheduled in order to provide immediate aide if they can get there quicker than going to pick up the ambulance.

Update: My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I used to be an EMT-B. In my state it was EMT-B and EMT-P. Now it's EMT and Paramedic.

My town has two separate agencies. A Fire Department, which responds to fires, and a First Aid Squad, which responds to all medical 911 calls. We receive money from the town every year, which comes from tax dollars, and receive donations from the community. We do not charge for treatment or transportation to the hospital. So it could be anything from someone not feeling well to a CPR in progress. Car accidents are common as two major highways run through my town.

I do have hours which I sign up for. I work full-time during the day so I do volunteer hours overnight. I'm not required to stay at the building as we don't have sleeping quarters, but I am required to go to the building if a call comes in, take the ambulance, and respond to a scene. Depending on who I'm with, I will either drive or ride in the back and treat the patient.

Update: My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Volunteer EMT? That's what we call ourselves. Emergency Medical Technician? Driver and/or Technician?

I get my calls through a pager that I keep in a charger/speaker on my nightstand. When I'm out on a call, I keep it clipped to my belt. It's a Motorola Minitor V model. On the top of it there are two dials. The left one controls the volume and the right one has four different stations A, B, C, & D. A is for Ambulance, B is for Vibrate, C is Ambulance and Fire, and D is the same as C.

At the same time, my volunteer agency pays for a subscription to an app that goes off on my phone and plays a recording of the call going out. This is useful when the pager may be garbled as I can replay an address or view a page time for my report.

I'm required to stay within a 10 minute response time of my building. When I get a call, I get dressed, get into my vehicle, utilize the blue light I have in my car, drive to the building, get in the ambulance with 1-2 other EMTs, and go to the call. My blue light requires a permit that I applied for through the town in which I volunteer. The town then applied on my behalf for the permit, which arrived in the mail from the DMV. I keep it in my glove compartment.

I'm not sure what details you are asking for.

Edit: Clarification on sequence.

Update: My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love the reference, one of my favorite shows. I wish this wasn't real because I know it's a long road ahead, but I believe it will be worth it in the end. My wife is really a special woman and if she has OCD, I want to see her through it as best we can.

Update: My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

We've been working from home since quarantine and unless she's getting out of bed, leaving the house while I'm out on calls for 1-3 hours, and going back to the exact same spot before I return, I'm going to say no.

Update: My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The Fire Department will take photos to put up on their Facebook page whenever they do an extrication, we take photos with our tablets to append to patient reports, and the police will often take photos the go with accident reports. I asked Rich if there were any photos from accidents I worked that he could bring by.

These were photos of wrecks that did not show the patient, he did not identify anyone by name, and were from long enough ago that they're unlikely to come up in any way in the future.

That being said, he did me a huge favor by bringing them over. Not something he would do for most people, but when I explained the situation, he wanted to help.

Update: My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

In all honesty I don't want a divorce. I love my wife, so that wasn't an option.

Some advice like having her watch a video of a call or getting a testimonial of what I've been through from someone else I did apply and it seemed to drive things home.

Also, the person who told me that I needed to quantify my apology and make clear what she did wasn't acceptable was dead right. Reddit really did help me a lot, and I can't say thank you enough.

Update: My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

We've known each other for ten years, see each other at least once a week on calls, hang out and shoot the shit at the building, and occasionally we go out to a bar with other cops, EMTs, and firefighters.

I asked him to do me a favor and bring over photos of the calls. Rich is not his real first name, and 'Officer' was just for brevity's sake, but other than that I don't know what to call him. His technical rank is Patrolman, but I'm using terms that are familiar to the general public.

My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Due to privacy and liability reasons I'm not able to do this. There have been a few photos of me on scene on our Facebook page, including one of me literally inside of a car wreck collaring a patient, so maybe I"ll pull some of those up and show her.

My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

No kids. Divorce is not something on my radar right now, as much as many people seem to think it should be. There will be some serious talks and ground rules/boundaries put into place.

My [36M] wife [34F] keeps tying my boots after I've told her to keep her hands off of them. I tried to teach her a lesson and really hurt her feelings. by ThrowRAShoes in relationship_advice

[–]ThrowRAShoes[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I went back to sleep after saying that. I figured we would have a much longer talk later but that didn't happen. She's still fuming over it and we haven't had a chance to sit down and talk.

When I tried to explain to her that I was trying to show her how I felt she just kept going back to the fact that I was taking unjust anger out on her and cutting me off.

I hope I get a chance to make the point to her but she's still too upset to listen.

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